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ritzyreese
post Apr 25 2006, 10:58 PM
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venetia
post Aug 5 2006, 01:56 AM
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Katiebelle you are right to do what's right for YOU. Everyone is different.

After 6 years my SO and I still want to have sex every single day (if we're just "fooling ourselves" then it's working pretty well!). We have our ups and downs due to tiredness but we still basically want each other a lot. And quite frankly I wouldn't settle for less in a relationship, long term, as sex is really important to me as well. So I can completely understand why you would want to break it off.
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lawyergirl
post Aug 9 2006, 11:43 PM
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QUOTE(venetia @ Aug 5 2006, 08:13 AM) *

Katiebelle you are right to do what's right for YOU. Everyone is different.

After 6 years my SO and I still want to have sex every single day (if we're just "fooling ourselves" then it's working pretty well!). We have our ups and downs due to tiredness but we still basically want each other a lot. And quite frankly I wouldn't settle for less in a relationship, long term, as sex is really important to me as well. So I can completely understand why you would want to break it off.


Hi V, and all my other Busties,

Boy, I wish my life and concerns were as uncomplicated as yours. Don't get me wrong. We are all going through our own private hell....I just am at my wits' end here.

I love my husband, and he absolutely loves me too. My problem is guilt, I guess. We have been together for almost 9 years. During our 2nd year together, his back went south on him, from an old high school football injury. He was bedridden for 6 months b4 he went back 2 work. No biggie. Except, b4 his re-injury, he was all over me, all the time. After he re-injured his back, I was the only one to instigate our sex life, and was turned down 89% of the time. I can understand that, when his back was hurting. It still hurt my ego, though, honestly.

Now that I have been turned down so many times, it has become a habit for me, that he doesn't even see. My heart is totally hardened & I expect him 2 reject me, so I don't even try to be intimate anymore. Even worse, nowdays, when he does want to be sexual, I cannot get my head around it, and even though I enjoy our trysts, I can never come. I don't think I ever can again with him, because it is so screwed up, and I feel as if strings are attached. (if i am alone, i can come in 60 seconds, flat) I hate feeling this way. I feel like I am pressured to react a certain way, and I simply cannot.

I am so damned tired of being lonely, I don't know what 2 do. I am not afraid of being ALONE, I just cannot handle feeling lonely anymore, while being married. how fucked up is that?

Help?

Love you my girlies,

xo


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chimera00
post Aug 10 2006, 02:27 AM
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QUOTE(lawyergirl @ Aug 10 2006, 02:00 AM) *

Hi V, and all my other Busties,

Boy, I wish my life and concerns were as uncomplicated as yours. Don't get me wrong. We are all going through our own private hell....I just am at my wits' end here.

I love my husband, and he absolutely loves me too. My problem is guilt, I guess. We have been together for almost 9 years. During our 2nd year together, his back went south on him, from an old high school football injury. He was bedridden for 6 months b4 he went back 2 work. No biggie. Except, b4 his re-injury, he was all over me, all the time. After he re-injured his back, I was the only one to instigate our sex life, and was turned down 89% of the time. I can understand that, when his back was hurting. It still hurt my ego, though, honestly.

Now that I have been turned down so many times, it has become a habit for me, that he doesn't even see. My heart is totally hardened & I expect him 2 reject me, so I don't even try to be intimate anymore. Even worse, nowdays, when he does want to be sexual, I cannot get my head around it, and even though I enjoy our trysts, I can never come. I don't think I ever can again with him, because it is so screwed up, and I feel as if strings are attached. (if i am alone, i can come in 60 seconds, flat) I hate feeling this way. I feel like I am pressured to react a certain way, and I simply cannot.

I am so damned tired of being lonely, I don't know what 2 do. I am not afraid of being ALONE, I just cannot handle feeling lonely anymore, while being married. how fucked up is that?

Help?

Love you my girlies,

xo


hey lawyer girl. i feel your pain. if you scroll down, i wrote something in the thread earlier about it. now i don't even try to initiate anything physical, because i know i will get turned down, or he'll feel he has to go along with it. i feel unattractive sometiimes, and that i NEED some form of attention ( i even have to ask hiim to cuddle with me). i want someone to say "I WANT YOU" or "YOU ARE F'IN BEAUTIFUL AND I WANT YOU". i rarely need sexual recognition, but it's been many months without it. we're just two droids sharing a house together.

on the upside, he is getting therapy. his problems kind of need them. but i am also thinking about going with him.

but i do know the feeling- to be turned down so many times (for one reason or another) that you don't even want to initiate it anymore. it's rattling. but communication does aide the situation.
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ritzyreese   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 25 2006, 10:58 PM
ritzyreese   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 25 2006, 10:58 PM
midgemcgrath   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 12:00 AM
miss_b   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 05:01 AM
treehugger   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 05:42 AM
midgemcgrath   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 10:22 AM
culturehandy   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 02:34 PM
culturehandy   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 02:35 PM
ritzyreese   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 05:12 PM
ritzyreese   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 05:12 PM
midgemcgrath   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 05:19 PM
ginger_kitty   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 06:09 PM
culturehandy   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 26 2006, 07:25 PM
lux   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 27 2006, 04:00 AM
venetia   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 27 2006, 05:22 AM
miss_b   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 27 2006, 06:32 AM
midgemcgrath   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 27 2006, 11:27 AM
ginger_kitty   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 27 2006, 04:56 PM
venetia   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 27 2006, 06:43 PM
ginger_kitty   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 28 2006, 07:49 AM
red   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 28 2006, 09:28 AM
midgemcgrath   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 28 2006, 10:31 AM
ritzyreese   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Apr 28 2006, 01:55 PM
red   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 1 2006, 01:04 PM
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red   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 2 2006, 09:10 AM
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ritzyreese   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 9 2006, 06:22 PM
katiebelle2882   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 10 2006, 10:55 AM
pepper   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 10 2006, 08:22 PM
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katiebelle2882   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 11 2006, 12:00 PM
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pepper   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 12 2006, 07:53 PM
katiebelle2882   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 13 2006, 06:58 PM
lux   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 15 2006, 04:35 AM
huh   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 15 2006, 08:14 AM
midgemcgrath   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 15 2006, 12:11 PM
skandelouslala   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 18 2006, 10:17 AM
huh   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 18 2006, 12:31 PM
lila_x   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 23 2006, 11:57 AM
katiebelle2882   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 24 2006, 07:02 AM
chloedan   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   May 28 2006, 07:15 PM
kittenbonanza   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Jun 23 2006, 05:58 AM
hummingbird   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Jun 23 2006, 01:31 PM
mermaidgirl13   Sex and Long-Term Relationships   Jul 6 2006, 04:28 PM
modegirl   Funny, i'm the odd one out! i'm the mo...   Jul 13 2006, 09:20 AM
ms.gb   chimera--kudos to you for trying to work this out ...   Jul 13 2006, 10:34 AM
dicharry   1st post in this thread --- hey chimera - i'v...   Jul 13 2006, 04:29 PM
chimera00   thanks ladies. mode & ms. gb: he has just star...   Jul 16 2006, 01:00 AM
ms.gb   anyone else in a sex rut? like feeling un-sexy or ...   Jul 31 2006, 12:44 PM
hopey   anyone else in a sex rut? like feeling un-sexy or...   Aug 11 2006, 10:34 PM
katiebelle2882   i have a question for everyone kind of along the s...   Jul 31 2006, 12:53 PM
karianne   I am in a serious sex rut! My sex drive is jus...   Aug 2 2006, 08:39 AM
ginger_kitty   Yeah, the Mr. and I have been in a bit of a rut la...   Aug 3 2006, 06:15 PM
gypsyraven   We were given the suggestion to help us out of our...   Aug 8 2006, 06:19 AM
ginger_kitty   Okay, I am breaking the rut!!!! M...   Aug 12 2006, 09:51 AM
hopey   Okay, I am breaking the rut!!!! M...   Aug 14 2006, 08:01 AM
sybarite   Lawyergirl, I agree with chimera that communicatio...   Aug 14 2006, 05:08 AM
venetia   Aww Lawyergirl, I'm pretty sure part of it is ...   Aug 19 2006, 01:48 AM
mermaidgirl13   Hopey, I feel the same way - not that interested i...   Aug 26 2006, 01:42 PM
little_idiot   So like a lot of you ladies, my sex drive has seri...   Sep 2 2006, 07:52 PM
GiGi21   Aw girls, I'm so glad I found you! I have ...   Sep 13 2006, 03:36 PM
i_am_jan   I miss the times when I couldn't get enough of...   Sep 20 2006, 08:01 PM
katiebelle2882   ugh girls i hear what you are saying. i broke up w...   Sep 21 2006, 07:48 AM
auralpoison   This is from the VV: http://www.villagevoice.com/...   Sep 22 2006, 08:09 PM
LoveMyPugs   Ok, so I hope that everyone doesn't think I...   Sep 22 2006, 09:26 PM
katiebelle2882   why would anyone think you are a freak? i think it...   Sep 23 2006, 05:58 PM
LoveMyPugs   thank you katiebelle2882! that's very nic...   Sep 23 2006, 10:14 PM
GiGi21   Katie and Pugs- you are both so right. Mr GiGi is...   Sep 24 2006, 10:41 AM
katiebelle2882   I have a sneaking suspicion that very often, women...   Sep 24 2006, 11:53 AM
ginger_kitty   I try really hard to make the effort to keep thing...   Sep 24 2006, 02:58 PM
LoveMyPugs   katiebelle “I have a sneaking suspicion that ve...   Sep 25 2006, 03:57 AM
GiGi21   Pugs- I so know what you are saying about the bein...   Sep 25 2006, 10:10 AM
ms.gb   hi pugs! welcome to the thread. i love the wa...   Sep 25 2006, 11:08 AM
katiebelle2882   i want to mention that i know you might think its ...   Sep 25 2006, 11:57 AM
LoveMyPugs   It's very frustrating to be me sometimes. I l...   Sep 25 2006, 08:28 PM
katiebelle2882   wait, they think you need therapy bc of those thre...   Sep 25 2006, 08:51 PM
pepper   well, pug, porn still squicks me out personally bu...   Sep 25 2006, 10:40 PM
venetia   Heh.. I have to say it - Katiebelle maybe your guy...   Sep 26 2006, 12:10 AM
dirtybunny   ((Busties)) and to all the chickas that are closet...   Sep 26 2006, 12:56 AM
katiebelle2882   lol en, i would say it could be true for some of t...   Sep 26 2006, 08:52 AM
maddy29   you gotta talk to him, sorry but that's the on...   Sep 26 2006, 10:54 AM
katiebelle2882   you do have to talk to him! otherwise, yes you...   Sep 26 2006, 11:49 AM
Kalevra   Hiya Filthyrabbit :P erm dirtybunny Yep, you are ...   Sep 26 2006, 01:09 PM
katiebelle2882   hey dirty bunny (hahahaha filthy rabbit) that is s...   Sep 26 2006, 02:02 PM
smapde   dirtybunny, I would like to third the "you h...   Sep 26 2006, 02:46 PM
dirtybunny   Smapde your situation is what I am worried about e...   Sep 26 2006, 03:58 PM
katiebelle2882   two things my dear DB 1)it is not you-so dont thi...   Sep 26 2006, 04:02 PM
LoveMyPugs   I'm new to this site and don't know what t...   Sep 26 2006, 07:07 PM
Kalevra   dirtybunny THERE, you said it yourself!!...   Sep 26 2006, 10:15 PM
venetia   Dirtybunny, is your bf loving and considerate and ...   Sep 28 2006, 06:42 AM
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