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> his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .
post May 17 2006, 05:14 PM
Post #1

Hardcore BUSTie
Posts: 105
From: Canada

Oh I'm so here! My man is 38, I've been with him for 5 years and we now have two kids. Since I've known him he's been talking about getting a job, I'm talking 5 years! I have now have 4 kids (5 if you include him), and I'm at home on disability as I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. The topper is he does nothing to help me out around the house, not with the kids the housework nothing! I tell him to leave about once a month, but he won't go! Why can't he just be a man, get and job and provide for his family?!!
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post Jun 4 2006, 10:57 AM
Post #2

Hardcore BUSTie
Posts: 553

Lilyblue has it right, you want a partner not a child. If a guy is 25 and still not on track, he might soon be if he's moving in that direction. But if he's waiting for you to pick up the check and give him a place to live, I'd say move on and just be happy alone and self-supporting. If the guy is over 30 and still not got a clue or a decent job track, don't let him mooch off you or move in or you'll never get him out. If he wants to make something of himself, let him do it on his own and build some self-respect. Most guys I see who are supported financially by their girlfriends and the story I've often seen is that, if they do eventually get a decent job going, they leave the girl who supported them and move up to someone else. It happens A LOT, so don't think that he'll stay with you just because you did so much for him.

My former guy was 34 and still no decent job. His dad paid for his college at a good state-run universtiy, but he complained that his sister got money to go to a top-knotch private school and his brother would have too, if he hadn't dropped out in high school. So the guy has a good 4-year degree, no student loan debt, and gets jobs picking up empty glasses in bars and rock clubs. Then he at least got a job doing the company books at one club for a couple of years, but it paid shit and no insurance until about 6 months before he quit. He just quit one day with no other job and so went even more downhill and in debt, no attempt to get jobs in his field. I helped him get a job as a receptionist for a graphic arts firm, that's the only kind of job he could get, and he mostly moaned about it and had no direction and no money, no car, sharing housing with 3-4 other guys. He was 33 and nothing going on in his life, I asked "What really interests you?" and he could't even answer except "I really like to travel."

He whined and hinted around once that he wanted me to loan him the money to pay off his credit card debt (about $4000 at the time) and I totally acted like I didn't get the hint. He was sinking more every month and then started hinting about living together -- the only way he was going to get a decent place to live would be to move in with me. I told him it wasn't going to happen and broke up with him soon after.

At age 35, he spent several months searching hard for a girlfriend (effort he never put into finding a job!) and finally found one who clearly was lonely and must have thought he had "potential". I knew when he told me she owned a condo that he'd be moving in as soon as his lease expired, which was about 8 months after they met. Sure 'nuff, he moved in and she's been paying all the bills while he goes to grad school. He wouldn't even get a job in a coffee shop to help with the bills because he needed to study -- oh, and ride his bike and buy bike gear on her credit cards. She even puts their vacations on her credit cards. He finally found something he wanted to study and someone to fund him. He also was cheating on her (online sex chats with women all over, while he was supposed to be studying) even when they were living together. Ugh. I won't be surprised at all if he gets a decent career after his graduation and then dumps her for someone who doesn't know his past as a moocher.

Believe me, all moochers know they are moochers and have no respect for you because they know they can manipulate you. My bf was fun, intelligent, great connection, etc etc, great to hang out. I knew he was a moocher and set my boundaries on what portion I would pay of our meals out, etc. Eventually I got bored of being with the guy who had no money to spend and no self-respect. He turned into a whiner and felt sorry for himself all the time, it was pathetic. I cut the loser loose for a guy who had pulled himself up by his bootstraps, paid for his own education and grad school, and had a great career and plenty of self respect.

Don't sell yourself short and fall for that "oh, it's so hard to get a job" bullshit.
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Posts in this topic
jezabelle   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   May 17 2006, 05:14 PM
pinkmartyr   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   May 27 2006, 12:04 PM
edna   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   May 30 2006, 07:50 PM
pepper   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   May 30 2006, 07:59 PM
yummymum   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   Jun 1 2006, 08:00 AM
pepper   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   Jun 5 2006, 06:57 PM
seraphine   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   Jun 11 2006, 02:19 PM
platinumbetty   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   Jun 19 2006, 04:26 PM
venetia   his broke ass won't get a (real) job. . .   Jun 19 2006, 07:20 PM
molly   pinkmartyr, i think you already know the answer.   Jan 21 2013, 09:21 AM
molly   pinkmartyr, don't marry him! move out an...   Jan 21 2013, 09:23 AM

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