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repletewithyou
post Apr 22 2006, 06:37 PM
Post #1


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Posts: 2


So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.
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maimy
post May 8 2006, 08:16 PM
Post #2


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Posts: 696
From: Does it matter? This'll only be dingo'd again


La Sirena, much as I personally dig honesty, there is honest communication, and there is truth-for-its-own-sake, and there are actually times those two aren't the same thing. Let your partner set the standard for how you treat him, not your own standards. "Do unto others" is all very well until others want to be done to differently than we do. And if you unburden yourself knowing his standard is different, are you doing it for him or for yourself?

I think you are on good enough footing here. It may not be comfortable footing for you, but it's within your guy's limits, and that is the important thing. Jazmyn is right, you may need more forgiveness from yourself than from him. Try to treat *yourself* by his standard, it seems generous. Sometimes, honesty can mean facing what communication is destructive, pointless or futile.
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repletewithyou   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 22 2006, 06:37 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 22 2006, 07:28 PM
repletewithyou   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 23 2006, 07:48 AM
emtee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 12:16 AM
venusindisguise   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 08:53 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 02:42 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 24 2006, 05:32 PM
cloverbee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 03:04 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 04:11 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 07:47 PM
cloverbee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 28 2006, 08:54 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 29 2006, 07:16 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 29 2006, 11:31 PM
cloverbee   General Relationship/Dating Advice   Apr 29 2006, 11:44 PM
la_sirena   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 1 2006, 01:21 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 1 2006, 04:23 PM
yummymum   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 10:16 AM
anarch   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 10:41 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 01:17 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 02:37 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 2 2006, 04:20 PM
john   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 05:12 AM
sybarite   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 05:42 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 09:37 AM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 10:12 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:14 AM
lucizoe   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:43 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:51 AM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 11:55 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 12:48 PM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 12:54 PM
pow   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 01:09 PM
john   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 04:50 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 05:41 PM
john   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 06:38 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 06:52 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 3 2006, 06:55 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 11:36 AM
la_sirena   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 12:30 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 02:32 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 4 2006, 08:22 PM
maimy   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 8 2006, 08:16 PM
badcrumble   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 9 2006, 03:52 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 9 2006, 05:43 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 9 2006, 08:52 PM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 12:58 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 01:23 AM
venetia   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 01:36 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 09:01 AM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 10:04 AM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 12:57 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 08:37 PM
venetia   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 08:55 PM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 10 2006, 10:25 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 01:01 AM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 10:11 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 04:50 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 11 2006, 04:52 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 12 2006, 10:25 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 12 2006, 08:08 PM
bklynhermit   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 12 2006, 10:19 PM
greenbean   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 13 2006, 12:00 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 13 2006, 02:03 PM
greenbean   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 13 2006, 05:23 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 16 2006, 03:37 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 09:06 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 09:23 AM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 09:58 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 10:55 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 01:25 PM
katiebelle2882   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 02:00 PM
maddy29   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 17 2006, 02:31 PM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 19 2006, 11:05 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 19 2006, 02:54 PM
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sybarite   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 20 2006, 07:50 AM
saktii   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 20 2006, 11:23 AM
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koala   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 21 2006, 11:57 AM
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_octinoxate   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 21 2006, 02:34 PM
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karma77   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 05:05 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 09:29 AM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 09:30 AM
jazmyn13   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 24 2006, 11:06 AM
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venetia   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 27 2006, 07:18 PM
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maude   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 28 2006, 09:37 PM
pepper   General Relationship/Dating Advice   May 29 2006, 12:05 AM
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