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> Busty Mom's of not so wee ones
freckleface2727
post Jul 25 2006, 04:23 PM
Post #641


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fun fun!!
it was poring down rain, and I convinced frecklette to go sit on the front porch w/ me, and tried to get her to play & dance in it w/ me, but at the same moment, we both chickened out.
so then I bribe/dared her w/ $2** to run to the mailbox & back & she did, laughing all the way there & back laugh.gif

I loooooove r-a-i-n and grew up puddle jumping and playing in it, something you ever see kids doing today.


silly is as silly does biggrin.gif


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freckleface2727
post Jul 25 2006, 02:24 PM
Post #642


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Pepper-

if I could help you out,I would in a heartbeat.
a summer cottage? I am SO THERE, lol.
hope you find a way to make it work for everyone.

frecklette got her new school schedule in the mail today & is burning up the phone lines calling girlfriends and grandparents. it's too cute really, but making me sad.
7th grade.

how is that possible?

right now it just seems to going much much too fast.

her schedule is : Science- C(comm) Skills (formerly known as english?)- Health/PE- Reading (which is still called just that, instead of say ' interpretive language comprehension')- Homeroom- Soc Studies -Math (plain ole', don't know what that will bring yet as I never went up & raised hell)- and Creative Dramatics.

she is happy & excited, comparing what classes she has w/ her friends and who is on what Team and lunch and when they can all meet in the halls in between etc etc.
really too cute, but I wish she cared as much about her clothes and hair as she did about her friends, but maybe in time? we went today on another Trying On mission, but came up empty, tho did find the last of the mandatory supply list items of a 3 ring binder + a magnatized 1/2 mug for her locker to hold pens & pencils. all we need now is to wait for next weekend (tax free) & go & actually Purchase the things we've already found that she likes & fits. something I will probably do so alone and be much faster for.

tax free weekends.. gotta love it.

we have One Month exactly before school starts.


how are the rest of you doing for back to school?
ready?

many hugs all around ~


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pepper
post Jul 21 2006, 08:20 PM
Post #643







i'm trying to figure out how to get the small man to my family cottage for the summers. i can't go with him because of work but how can he get there on his own? it might not happen at all because there is no way, no WAY that i will let my child fly alone. just ain't a-gonna happen. i have worked in hospitality for nearly 20 years and let me tell you, those harried flight attendants couldn't care less about someone else's kid, and even if they did they can't possibly be on the look out the whole time. i wouldn't even let him play in the front yard by himself (hey man, i watch oprah). maybe nothing bad would happen but there just isn't any way that i would take that chance. i'm not a nervous nelly either, i have a big family and i am the oldest so i'm pretty relaxed about being adventurous but... i can't see taking chances with my baby. imo he deserves to be looked out for by someone who has a vested interest in his well-being and not some random strangers.
i don't know about a taxi. in my small town it would be fine, i know them all by name. the city however, well, i suppose the dispatcher knows who has what kid in their car and can keep track but, yeek! what stops anyone from being a sicko eh? that's a frightening business.
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berenguela
post Jul 21 2006, 03:08 PM
Post #644


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I'd be waaaaaay more scared about littleb taking a taxi alone than flying in a plane. I mean, for the litte guys, on a plane they do everything but hold their hands the whole way. littleb has flown alone a few times already and will do it again this summer, Montreal to Chicago. The first time was from Europe to the States and he was only six. I was mad as hell that his Dad didn't come with him but after he arrived, safe and cheerful at the airport, I felt a little foolish about all my worries. "What could possibly go wrong?" I thought.
He flew on Sept. 7, 2001.
You can imagine that four days later, in addition to all the other horrible images in my head, was an image of him trapped in Newfoundland alone, not able to get home for several more days.
But you know, even if that had happened, he would have been fine. There were kids travelling alone on those flights, and they were taken good care of.
Of course, littleb flew many times with me before he flew alone.
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freckleface2727
post Jul 21 2006, 10:04 AM
Post #645


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had to Eat Outside Alone??

talk about messed up!!

I don't think I'd let the kids visit there Period, regardless of the location & the distance.


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farmgirl
post Jul 21 2006, 09:56 AM
Post #646


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freck, Seriously! As though the plane ride weren't bad enough, when he got there, he'd have to spend time with the meanest, crankiest person I know. My niece talks about the time she went, & how g'ma made her eat outside alone because she was too messy to eat over the WHITE carpet the woman has under the DINING TABLE. **eyeroll**
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freckleface2727
post Jul 21 2006, 09:21 AM
Post #647


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farmgirl & mando,
my mom is after me to send frecklette on the plane by herself, and it's only to tn & she's 12.
no way. maturity wise, not a chance.

I'd tell your m-i-l to fly a kite farmgirl. what kinda crazi is that anyway?


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farmgirl
post Jul 21 2006, 09:05 AM
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Hee, mando! My m-i-l keeps nagging me to send tot1 to see her in Hawaii. My b-i-l sent each of his kids when they were 7, so she figures now that tot1 is 7, I'll be sending him. As if! A 7-year-old, BY HIMSELF, on a PLANE to HAWAII?! Not on my watch, lady!
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mandolyn
post Jul 21 2006, 08:24 AM
Post #649


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(((freckle))) thanks for your kind words of support!

Danny's First Eva Solo Cab Ride went without a hitch. the driver was nice enough, and asked him what he wanted to pay. danny told him he doesn't usually take cabs, but the driver still left it up to him. which i don't understand at all. he wound up giving him $6 plus a $1 tip. (for about a 7-minute ride.)

and he actually called me when he got there. thank god.

i made sure i told him i was proud of him. cool.gif

meanwhile, my girlfriend emailed me yesterday that she was worrying about her 13-yr old on a plane at that very moment, flying to FL with his same-age cousin ... by themselves! we had a good laugh about that one. (she & her mr tease me endlessly about how overprotective i am, meanwhile she freaks about things that i don't find worrisome at all. go figure. of course, danny on a plane by himself? i'd need 52 xanax to get thru that one!)

hope everyone is well. off on vackay to visit my sista in VA. see you guys in a week or so!


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freckleface2727
post Jul 20 2006, 11:07 AM
Post #650


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Mando,

I'm sure he's Fine. this is a Big Huge Event though, and think of the sense of accomplishment he'll feel for having done it this first time; and not to mention how much trust it shows you have in him.
way to go [color=#3333FF]Mama Mando
!! [b]woot woot!

[color=#FF6600] my biggest fear would probably be him getting ripped off.
so maybe if he does it again,tell him he can only spend like $10 on it, and to hide the rest of his money where the driver won't see.
- do you haggle w/ drivers where you are? I ask, bc most of my experience w/ taxi's was in panama where you Never accept the first going rate. gawd I don't mean to sound like a dork, but maybe that's somwthing else to learn him? (<eg>)

Danny's Big Adventure, please let us know how it went?

we're proud of both of ya's !!


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mandolyn
post Jul 20 2006, 10:45 AM
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today's freak-out involves letting danny take a cab. by himself. for the first time. eva.
only across town. and he's fine with it.
but he has strict orders to call me the minute he gets to his destination.
not sure what i'm worried about more, the cab driver overcharging him (taxis in our neck of the woods are un-metered, they can make anything up for an unsavvy kid), driving like a maniac or .... worse.

of course, the mr thinks i'm insane for worrying. he still thinks it's 1965. back when he and his cousins took mass-transit all over the tri-state area with not a care in the world.

and of course, i feel like Evil Mom that i can't take a mere half an hour to go drive him myself. and if any of the stay-at-home moms/chauffers see him getting out of the cab, he'll be mortified. and tongues will wag.

i think i was in my 20's the first time i took a cab by myself, and that was probably in manhattan.

end/freak-out rant.


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freckleface2727
post Jul 18 2006, 03:52 PM
Post #652


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[size=1]

let's break this new forum in already ey?

scary alert:
at the small town library frecklette & I go to, a 17 yr old boy convinced a 12 yr old girl to leave & get in his car. he did bring her back, and I don't know if police were called or what followed, but the girl was reported to be crying and very upset.

I was just starting to get more comfortable about letting her kind of roam-as-needed there too, but geeze!

generally we take her friend w/ us, the whole saftey in #'s kind of thing. I talked to frek about this earlier today and she totally took it serious, I think was even a little scared bc she told me how there was 2 different boys/men looking at them funny yesterday. am going to talk to the girl & her dad about it later, just so they understand how important this is for their saftey.

the LIBRARY.

we're not talking the mall, or wandering around the city alone, a po-dunk 1 room library.


how is everyone?

summer is 1/2 over already & we are slowly assembling for back to school.


oh, and freck & her friend aer hatching
Sea Monkey's today!! I am so psyched, I oughta be a little embarrassed but I just think they are so damn cool.

[color=#FF6600]updates & check ins ?

hugs to all~



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sillygrrl13
post Jul 7 2006, 08:28 PM
Post #653


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Staggering by, throwing kisses to Mando & Freckle. Look who's back from the dead! Love you..
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berenguela
post Jul 5 2006, 04:53 PM
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tyger and polly, I agree with so much of what you say. My parents were really lenient with us, gave us lots of freedom but also had *huge* expectations on us that we would behave, not do anything to make them ashamed, etc. and it really worked. We were both pretty good as teens and saved our experimenting until we were old enough to do it.
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freckleface2727
post Jul 5 2006, 02:48 PM
Post #655


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you know what, what you've both said here today Really makes sense.
I think I will try really hard to not try so hard, if you know what I mean?
she doesn't do drugs, isn't having sex, etct etc (she is only 12 but in this world I've seen it happen already) so maybe I need to just chill a little?


the mr & I went out & about running errands this afternoon & let her stay home again, and when the doorbell rang she did call me, and only looked out the window upstairs after I told her it was ok. (we've had a problem w/ door to door people lately & our door doesn't have a peephole).
she's a good kid. does Occassionally listen to us.

chill mama chill. I'm going to tell the mr to please remind me of this next time we have a skirmish. it's summer, she's in puberty, and I think maybe I've forgotten just how confusing and emotional that time can be.

and polly? kids or no, if it's not Your kid, it's a lot easier to be objective. I appreciate your input. (I meant that genuinely, not sarcastically.) please post w/us whenever you want.

have I said lately how much I luv you all here?
(((((((thankyou))))))


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pollystyrene
post Jul 5 2006, 12:20 PM
Post #656


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Funny you should say that, tyger, about teenagers being the best parenting experts.

This is coming from someone who doesn't have kids, but when I was 14, I came up with a parenting theory after one of my friends, who grew up in a really restrictive, oppressive household with parents who micro-managed her every move, ditched school, got drunk and high (and this was not the first time she did that), hopped on a Grayhound to Atlanta, called one of our older friends to come pick her up when she got about halfway to Atlanta and decided to get on a bus and come back home, then puked in his car...

The boundaries you put on your kid are like a lasso around them- it's inevitable that your kid is going to rebel. If you have the lasso very tight around them, restricting their every move and thought, the only way for them to rebel will be to completely break the lasso and then you have no control over them and they go nuts. However, if you keep the lasso loose enough to be comfortable, but to still be around them, they'll be able to rebel within your boundaries, learn to trust themselves and still be safe.

I was fortunate enough to have parents who set good boundaries and I was able to work with in most cases. I had a curfew, but it was reasonable and varied depending on the situation- who I was with, what we were doing. I never drank, smoked, did drugs or had sex in high school. Well, I did drink, but never to the point of getting drunk- I had a friend whose parents had a well-stocked bar in their basement and I tried a few things, but never to excess and I'd tell my parents about it later- it was easier to tell them that I tried it, didn't like it, or tried it, liked it, but knew not to go overboard than to sneak around about everything. I think I had a healthy level of fear with my parents, but mostly I felt like doing something really bad (drinking, drugs, typical teenager crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, etc.) would disappoint them and that would be worse than being grounded for months and/or having possessions or privilages taken away.

Again, I don't have kids, and my opinions might change if I did, but looking back on my teenager-hood, I think for the most part my parents handled things really well, especially in comparison to some of my friend's parents.


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You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey, be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect. People can be trusted. Someday, I will fall in love; a nice quiet home of my very own.
Free from all the pain. Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened, did it?
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tyger
post Jul 5 2006, 11:04 AM
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it's soooooo hard not to apologize, freck. it's my damn canadian-ness. i'll try harder, i swear.

i have such a big problem with parenting experts. you know who make the best parenting experts? teenagers. i know this sounds ridiculous, but my friends who turned out best were the ones whose parents gave them tons of room. starting in grade 11 (when i got my license) i had no real curfew, just a phone curfew. on weekends i had to phone my mom by midnight to tell her what was up, and then we'd say 'okay, i'll phone again at x o'clock'. or 'i'll be home before you wake up'. my mom was okay with me drinking (when i did, at 17. i don't now) as long as she knew where i was, and that i had a floor to sleep it off on or a sober ride home. stuff works differently for every kid, of course, but a lot of the time giving space works a lot better than building walls.

as for the 'consistent' thing, maybe you should just be consistently mellow? i mean, draw a personal line where frecklette has gone too far is she does x,y, or z, and will be punished with this for that, and for minor-er infractions leave it at 'you lost your book', and let the rest go on as normal. try that for a few weeks and then adjust it if it's not working quite right?
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freckleface2727
post Jul 5 2006, 04:47 AM
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mando- I thought of you guys twice yesterday, the first time bc I assumed your danny marched in a 4th parade- and with this Heat! gawd I remember doing that, in the hot uniforms w/ the dead chickens (plumes) on our heads. how did he look & how Proud were you? ( wait, I'm bettin' I already know, lol).
the second time was when we came home from the fireworks, and we were all eating our icecream and turned on the tv & watched the last few minutes of the Boston firework w/ the Pops playing on tv, w/ the fireworks over the water, how pretty. I hope everyone had a great time yesterday, we did.

tyger, never apologise for stating your opinion please ! you give such great insight to an area that is so new to me, and her too really.
I need you, please please please, keep talking:-)
I really like that idea, for every day she's less than horrendous (bc even her grandparents got to expierence her mouth first hand this visit) she earns a book.. that'd doable.
her best friend called yesterday, and initally I wouldn't let freck talk to her, but then as it was a holiday let her call her right back, and tho we got there too late to park near her to watch the fireworks, did walk her over to let her introduce her to her G'Mom (m-i-l) bc freck had really wanted them to meet & hang out a few.
so did I cave ( & not being "consistent" again) or do the right thing by being mellow?


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tyger
post Jul 4 2006, 03:02 PM
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freckle, as a girl who had an attitude the size of the USSR and lives for books, i would strongly reccomend not taking away frecklette's books. so much of what you say about her reminds me of me when i was younger (though i hope she's nowhere near as mouthy as i am!), and if she is anything like me, taking away her books might backfire. she'll be mad at you, because taking away personal property is crossing a punishment line that really shouldn't be crossed (in my opinion. of course, it's not my place, really, and i don't have kids so i don't see things the same way as parents would). what about taking away her library priviledges? or make a deal, for every x days she behaves herself in a row you guys can go and buy her a new book she'd like. on one hand, you do have to deal with kids in a way that will impact them (like for me, taking away internet and tv were and still would be nothing. take away my ipod/stereo/cds and i would seriously become depressed. take away my books and i would get crazy from lack of stimulation). if she reads anywhere near as much as i did, taking away her books would leave her with nothing to do (esp. since she has no internet/tv at the moment), which would really be a recipe for disaster, right? but i'm just butting in where i don't belong, and you should definetly do whatever will work to get a peaceful home.
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freckleface2727
post Jul 3 2006, 07:07 PM
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no worries v, just glad you are ok sweetie, you sound Better!
I know y'all might not care, but that wounded soldier of the mr's, the 19 yr old kid that frecklette & I got so close to, is meeting the President tomorrow!! my boy is growing up :-)

Happy 4th everyone :-)


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