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> Your Co-Workers
post May 12 2006, 02:28 PM
Post #1

Posts: 3

Has anyone ever been the victim of bad rumors at work? I just heard bad stuff we're being said about me behind my back by vicious and jealous co-workers. This thing had been going on for quite a while and noone ever told me or even took my defense.

It puts me in a very difficult situation as my boss heard about it. She thinks I'm not a good "team-player" so it's ruining my reputation and my chances of moving to an even better position.

I basically spent 2 days crying non-stop. I just moved in this new town and since my social life is not that crazy yet, i was investing a lot in my work.

The thing is, I love my work and I was trying to do it well and then this gossiping is just ruining everything by making me look like I'm some kind of mean bitch.

I guess I just need some comfort and maybe some people to tell me they went through the same problems,
-sad lila

lila x[color=#FF0000]
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post Feb 19 2011, 09:36 AM
Post #2

It's Calamity Jenn
Posts: 643
From: Lone Star State

Alright, this one is a doozy, and this seems to be the thread closest to appropriate.
I feel like I fucked up somehow. And I don't know how to fix it.
My boss had/has a crush on me. For the longest time I thought that his flirtations were just him being nice because he felt bad for me. But lately I couldn't tell myself that and be satisfied. He said and did things that were just too obvious even for someone as dense as I am.
I'm cutting through a lot of what was said and done, because there's too much to put in a post. Suffice it to say, he said and did things that I did not know how to respond to, given that I'm an idiot when it comes to matters of the heart, that I'm in a relationship, and that he IS my boss. Even though these things were so obvious, I still did not feel comfortable calling him on it. And as obvious as something may seem, I require that people be explicit with me and what they're thinking in regard to me; i.e., I required him to say "I want something more than a work relationship or a friendship with you," but he never said anything like that.
He had said a couple of times that we should have lunch together, whenever was convenient for me. I seized on this as an opportunity to get him away from the work setting, where HE is at the advantage, and I have to tread lightly. If we were away from the work setting, I thought, maybe I could breathe easier, get him to be plain with me, etc.
So a couple of days ago we did go to lunch. It wasn't nearly as easy as I thought it was going to be. I tried to bait him, to get him to be out with it without my having to directly ask. He's either too smart to be baited, or he didn't realize what I was trying to do. So I finally had to ask directly what his intentions were. "Intentions for...?" I pointed to myself. He said that he wanted to get to know me more, and see where things go. I know what that means, and I consider that to be plain enough, so I basically said that things need to stay casual, because I am seeing someone and, well, you're my boss. I then admitted something that I probably should not have. I told him that if I wasn't seeing anyone, and he wasn't my boss, then I would be interested in seeing him. It wasn't a lie, but as I sit here typing this I'm starting to think maybe I should have kept that to myself. He told me more of how he felt, that he was attracted to me because I'm smart, and different, etc. Then he said he felt like a jackass. I told him he shouldn't, I practically pleaded with him, but I guess it's unavoidable. I told him again that I really like him, and wanted to be his friend. But, I don't think that got through.
So yesterday I was sweating the whole thing before I got to work. I didn't know what to expect. I was hoping things would be cool, that we could go on as before, friendly, minus the heavy flirting (which I have to say, didn't actually bother me (I know, I'm an ass)), and part of me was thinking that that would happen. But NO, that isn't what happened. When I walked in the door, he was at one of the registers, probably changing the receipt tape. I looked at him as I walked by, waiting for him to look up, which he did. I smiled and said hi. He said hi back, but I could tell he didn't want to make eye contact with me or say anything to me, because he was so quiet, and looked away so quickly. During my entire 8 hour shift he stayed away from the front. The few times he did come up, he wouldn't look at me, much less acknowledge me. When we all closed last night, he still wouldn't talk directly to me, unless he HAD to. He asked one of my coworkers to ask me to go take care of something, even though I was standing right there. Whenever he did speak to me it was because nobody else was there to relay the message, and he seemed so... meek?

So there it is, and I feel bad. Maybe I handled this wrong, but I didn't know what else to do. Normally I wouldn't feel so bad for upsetting someone, but like I said, I genuinely like this man. Opinions are welcome.

Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. Thomas Jefferson
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Posts in this topic
lila_x   Your Co-Workers   May 12 2006, 02:28 PM
amywoman   Your Co-Workers   May 12 2006, 08:34 PM
pepper   Your Co-Workers   May 12 2006, 10:58 PM
lila_x   Your Co-Workers   May 13 2006, 08:15 AM
meetay   Your Co-Workers   Jul 4 2006, 02:27 AM
treehugger   [size=3][left]So I've got sort of a "thin...   Jul 28 2006, 04:13 AM
maddy29   that totally sucks. they need to start some kind ...   Jul 28 2006, 12:07 PM
sassygrrl   Fuck. So, I've been at my new job for about tw...   Jul 29 2006, 09:44 PM
hellotampon   My car broke down so the other day I had to call m...   Aug 4 2006, 10:59 AM
genghis cunt   I have to work with a truly repugnant person. I c...   Mar 16 2011, 11:50 AM
auralpoison   UGH. I am pissed because both my mom and J. have ...   Mar 16 2011, 02:22 PM
Joanneyy   I have to work with a truly repugnant person. I c...   Jun 1 2011, 02:01 AM
toasterbottom   LOL I apparently drunk posted in this thread in 06...   Mar 16 2011, 10:27 PM
barbosee   One of the default ringtones iPhone receives a cal...   Apr 9 2011, 12:12 AM
kinkyJen   It really irritates me that the guy co-workers alw...   Apr 29 2011, 09:25 AM
kinkyJen   BTW everyone, I appologize for the spelling errors...   May 7 2011, 07:18 PM
jAmbre   In all, workplaces are breeding grounds for jealou...   May 9 2011, 06:23 AM
kartermichael65   Yes i did encountered the same situation at my wor...   Dec 8 2011, 03:18 AM

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