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> Fun with Floggers II -- BDSM revisited.
girltrouble
post Dec 22 2008, 07:50 AM
Post #81


new highs in personal lows daily!
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Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


lol....it is pretty cool, i just wonder how long it will last. he seems serious about it tho.

the hard part is finding the right one. i rejected another one that was too needy.... and kinda gross.

this search has been a yearly thing on my part. so it's not like the first time out....

i'm kicking myself today cos i know he doesn't work today and i could have spoiled myself. instead of trudging thru the awful snow that's taken over seattle, i could have gotten door to door service from here to work....

and tomorrow he's going home for the holidays, so.... hmph.


better go bundle. sad.gif





--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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zoya
post Dec 22 2008, 07:25 AM
Post #82


uh huh.
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....I need one of those!
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girltrouble
post Dec 21 2008, 10:08 PM
Post #83


new highs in personal lows daily!
***
Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


we all get those zoya. do what you need to make yourself feel comfortable/safe....


just sent my new sub home....!

it's very nice. he's not completely a service sub--a submissive who gains all of his pleaure from serving his dom/me. although i wish he was a pure service sub, he does require some erotic componant, minimal as it is, but i think i will aim to minimize that. i love the idea that it should take as little effort on my part to motivate him. already he is more than willing to chaufeur me all over town for little more than me telling him he's a very good boy, and stroking his hair. today we went to 7 different places, running my errands, he washed the kazillion dishes i didn't feel like doing when i was sick this week, and when not done to my satisfaction, i had him do them again, and i had him scrub my kitchen floor. somehow, i could get used to this. i day dream about the day i won't have to give him any direction/instruction... still, this ain't bad. a few days ago he brought me soup from the far end of seattle for my favorite soup, and another store for my favorite tea, just because i asked.

i am thinking this might work...


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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zoya
post Dec 20 2008, 09:48 AM
Post #84


uh huh.
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hey guys - I'm having a bit of personal anonymity freakout (most likely totally unwarranted, BTW) so I'm probably going to edit my posts below down or completely out. Sorry, I know it's helpful for people to read, just like everyone's posts are really helpful for me. If you want to ask me something, PM me....
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culturehandy
post Dec 13 2008, 12:31 PM
Post #85


(o)(o)
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Posts: 11,350
From: Oh boobs


I'm sure it is a real video. Just like alien autopsy was real.

Hey mastrrik, here's a suggestion, take a long walk off a short pier you fucking douche bag loser.


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Hatred does not cease in this world by hating, but by not hating; this is an eternal truth. --- Buddah, The Dhammapada
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culturehandy
post Dec 6 2008, 06:08 PM
Post #86


(o)(o)
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Posts: 11,350
From: Oh boobs


Zoya has given some fantastic advice.

Start with what you like first, then go from there. i didn't dive right into being marked or choked right away. Mind started with verbal humiliation and degredation then picked up from there.

I picked up a book about bdsm which had some really amazing resources at the end of it.

Also, as Zoya said about her Domme experience, there are many varying degrees. From some people who want their entire lives controlled (to be a slave) to something only in the bedroom. It's all about what you like. Trust is hugely important as is communication. Remember safe sane and consensual.

I would hold off going to a sex shop until you get to know what you really like. See what you have around the house. What if you spend 60 dollars on a strap on or a flogger only to find out you don't like it. Then you have a toy sitting around your house doing nothing. you can tie someone up with anything really. So, see what you like then go and see if there are toys suited to your needs. toys and other items for bdsm can be pretty expensive, but the stuff you can do with items around your house is free.



--------------------
Hatred does not cease in this world by hating, but by not hating; this is an eternal truth. --- Buddah, The Dhammapada
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neurotic.nelly
post Dec 6 2008, 05:30 PM
Post #87


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 460
From: the galatic center


QUOTE(zoya @ Dec 6 2008, 09:48 AM) *
I'm coming to realize that getting into this is a learning process, not just about each other, but about yourself.

Thank you for saying that. I need to keep trying new things until something shifts and opens up around this because lately I've dropped the ball, and our sex life is in the tank because I stopped that discovery process.

I am excited about using practical items that we already have around the house because it seems like less pressure than going to ________ and purchasing something. First, we can discover what we like.

Thanks for responding, it helped me think about this differently.
wink.gif



--------------------
Earth: A Satanically ran planet where 98% of it's inhabitants are unquestioning, conformist idiots who are totally controlled and manipulated by the Satanic governments of the world and have been made complacent by said governments, through rigorous brainwashing.
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zoya
post Dec 6 2008, 12:48 PM
Post #88


uh huh.
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neurotic.nelly - I don't think you need to seek out a dominatrix in person, but you can look up stuff online. The internet is a wealth of information. that's where I have learned how to tie wrists / ankles with rope, in all sorts of fun knots and stuff, I've learned how to make my own flogger out of leather shoelaces, a dowel, and some duct tape (yay duct tape!), I've read all sorts of people's stories about scenes they do when they play, all about CBT and what's safe and not safe, etc etc etc.... Just do a little research of things, and figure out a couple things you want to try. Experiment with each other. Maybe just start out with something like putting clothespins on your - or his - nipples. It doesn't have to be something huge that involves purchased toys, right off the bat. In fact, I'm really enjoying finding alternative uses for household items like clothespins, wooden spoons, etc.


It definitely takes a lot of communication and trust to even experiment with it. I'm learning that for me, if I can't trust someone in all areas, not just in the bedroom, then it's going to be pretty difficult to trust them to do something like tie me up and slap a clothespin on my lady bits, safely. So I am seeing how it's not just about the pain, or the pleasure, etc. it's also about pushing the boundaries of communication and trust with your partner. If you remember to keep those things up, I think that you can pretty much try anything you agree on, and it will be just fine.

anyway, that's just my .02 cents as a newbie to this stuff
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neurotic.nelly
post Dec 5 2008, 11:54 PM
Post #89


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 460
From: the galatic center


Hello BUSTies. I know that BDSM turns me on. And when my lover bites me on the neck when we are having sex, I get shivers and I can feel everything, and I am brought into the moment. My question is, how do I, as a vanilla person who knows that BDSM is what I want, make the transition with my lover/boyfriend. I have talked to him about it. And he is interested in doing what pleases me. The dilemma is we are two vanilla's trying to find our way. Should we seek out a dominatrix? That would be of interest to both of us. Actually, that's what I might do? I need it so bad.

But, I know that he likes a bit of pain too. I just am not sure how to make the transition, we've been together for four years now, I need to spice it up a bit. He knows I like it and yet we are still stuck in vanilla land. I should probably go to ________ and buy some toys this weekend! That's what I'll do! Small steps, right?

If you peps have any opinions, I am all ears!

Congrats Zoya for experimenting and journeying into new territory!




--------------------
Earth: A Satanically ran planet where 98% of it's inhabitants are unquestioning, conformist idiots who are totally controlled and manipulated by the Satanic governments of the world and have been made complacent by said governments, through rigorous brainwashing.
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girltrouble
post Nov 27 2008, 01:30 AM
Post #90


new highs in personal lows daily!
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Posts: 4,307
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sorry i meant to post this, but i haven't wanted to type much since i took a spill on my skateboard and i've got a bad case of tendonitis.

but a zipper is a line of clothespins on a string. after they are placed, they are removed quickly by pulling up the string, acting much like a zipper.

zoya if you really want to fuck with your boy, go to michael's or some other hobby shop. buy some mini clothes pins-- the kind that you'd use for a doll house. they look innocuous, but they are some of the meanest pinchers out there. as a general rule, the smaller they are, the more they hurt!


ok, i can't type anymore. it hurts. i'll ttyl!


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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ihateoly
post Nov 26 2008, 11:18 PM
Post #91


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 145
From: Southern Arizona


I would also like to know what a zipper is. I'm not into CBT at all (as I'm a sub), but curiosity has gotten the best of me. Damn. I used to have a copy of the Encyclopedia of Bizare Sexual Acts but traded it at a used book store as it was evil. (Believe me, there were things I could have lived a longer, happier life not knowing). I have been reading back a bit on this thread and saw that people were talking about their first experiences with kink. Mine was when I was 15. I had this boyfriend who was really into biting and pulling hair. He also liked to tie me up with rope. At the time, I knew it was different than what other people were doing, so I never told anyone. I do know that I never felt weird about doing it though. I remember one time, that he bit my arm so hard that I had a huge bruise on my arm and my mom happened to notice it and I told her that I walked into a door. But the thing is, I never considered myself a submissive or a masochist at all. I thought those people were total freaks and had the image of people much older than I was wearing cheezy leather get-ups in mind when anyone would mention bondage or whatever. I had other boyfriends after that that I would ask to bite me or pull my hair and stuff and they would get weirded out. It wasn't until I was 20 that I finally figured out what was going on and met a guy who was a dominant. He was open about from the beginning which kind of freaked me out. We started things out at my comfort level, which was rough sex, which then led to restraints, collars, clamps, leashes, gags, etc. I married him a couple years later as he was not only fabulous in the sack, but a totally amazing person who just happens to hurt me in delicious ways.


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"Let's go dancing in high heels!"-Liz Lemmon
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zoya
post Nov 18 2008, 06:45 AM
Post #92


uh huh.
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no... what is a zipper? (I can only guess...) I'd like to know how! smile.gif
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girltrouble
post Nov 17 2008, 09:12 PM
Post #93


new highs in personal lows daily!
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Posts: 4,307
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hee hee! tree that is awesome.

*reads zoya's post and seethes with jealousy*

i don't know if i'd do it on his scrotum. but do you know what a zipper is zoya?


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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treehugger
post Nov 17 2008, 08:01 PM
Post #94


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Wow. I just got a hell of a spanking. I was begging for it...the stinging felt like heaven.

My butt is burning now...hehe


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zoya
post Nov 11 2008, 12:32 PM
Post #95


uh huh.
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edit
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Queen Bull
post Nov 10 2008, 12:35 AM
Post #96


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 228
From: the rainbow of self discovery


le boy said i could use a strap-on on him. ... *excited* hooray for adventurous partners.


congrats on getting into more kink zoya.. sounds like hella fun. biggrin.gif


--------------------
I love gentiles. In fact, protestant spotting is one of my favorite pastimes. :) ooh.. whats that? me thinks its a blog
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zoya
post Nov 1 2008, 06:30 PM
Post #97


uh huh.
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well that was helpful.. I'll keep that in mind.
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zoya
post Oct 31 2008, 04:27 AM
Post #98


uh huh.
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thanks for the advice guys, of keeping it simple. by nature, I just want to give - and I can be pretty unrestrained.. so it's kind of a challenge to hold back, and something I have to learn. How do I make him work for it, and what do I make him work for? That's where I don't exactly get it - I mean I just wanna tie him up and do all manner of things to him all at once - but I do see how, like candycane said, then there's nothing to work for, no surprises. So I guess I'm just kinda asking for some direction in how/what to do. I've never been in this position before, so I'm learning here.... smile.gif
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dayglowpink
post Oct 30 2008, 09:53 PM
Post #99


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 519
From: the shallow south


zoya- that sounds awesome. i was going to make the same suggestion as candycane, btw.
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zoya
post Oct 30 2008, 09:56 AM
Post #100


uh huh.
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edit
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