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> HPV and STDs
girltrouble
post Feb 3 2009, 02:59 PM
Post #41


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hi p 176!!!!!! *waves*


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p_176
post Feb 3 2009, 10:33 AM
Post #42


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valtrex won't help an hpv outbreak. multivitamins and a healthy immune system will.
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culturehandy
post Feb 3 2009, 09:23 AM
Post #43


(o)(o)
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*delurks*

Oh, I think I've had more than enough of Nadia to last me more than enough life times.

Enough with derailing.

I remember COCL talking about Gardasil in, maybe this thread? But I she said something about YOU may never had had sex, but Johnny McFrisky could have and picked something up. I'm paraphrasing here, but it's totally the truth. There are so many different strains of any disease, and i"m not limiting this to STD's, there's not just one type of cancer, or HIV/AIDS or whatever. You partner could have picked it up...this isn't anything all but ONE of the busties clearly knows.

*relurks*


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Stone
post Feb 2 2009, 09:14 PM
Post #44


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QUOTE(p_176 @ Apr 25 2006, 05:38 PM) *
hi folks <BR>i am new here....have had hpv for going on 3 years now...with constant outbreaks....was wondering how you view sex and relationships after learning you had hpv....i'm engaged but i really feel it's not fair for my fiance to be with me, since i frequently have outbreaks and various treatments....any advice? please?


Have you tried Valtrex?


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kittenb
post Feb 2 2009, 07:42 PM
Post #45


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Reported for general craziness.


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crazyoldcatlady
post Feb 2 2009, 06:37 PM
Post #46


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edited for extreme sarcasm.

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fuego_lento
post Feb 2 2009, 05:52 PM
Post #47


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Thank you, GT.

Some of us got an STI without having sex with the person we got it from, but that's not the point.
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Nadia
post Feb 2 2009, 01:22 PM
Post #48


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I think it's gross that some people don't even consider to abstain from sex until marriage. And even when they do have sex, they don't use protection. It's gross. And then they whine about STDs and pregnancy.


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Nadia
post Feb 2 2009, 01:21 PM
Post #49


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I think it's gross that some people don't even consider to abstain from sex until marriage. And even when they do have sex, they don't use protection. It's gross. And then they whine about STDs and pregnancy.


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hellcat
post Feb 1 2009, 04:40 PM
Post #50


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Thanks for the advice! I am for sure booking an appointment this week at the clinic and hopefully get this all figured out. Although, now my hopeful sexy time situation is seeming less probable sad.gif . Alas, it will be good to know anyways! I'd really love to find out my HPV status just so I can be clear in my mind. Good to know it's doable so now I can be more assertive in my care.

Sometimes I wonder if it is like "So, I had a wart on my foot two years ago...can we still touch feet? I could wear a sock until we know each other better".

I was "completely" ok with HPV while I was in a relationship but being single has rebrought up the same ol' issues. I'm (trying) to get over it by telling more people that I can trust. I told one of my guy friends and his reaction was pretty minimal, although he was a bit of a weirdo in that he said he'd still have penetrative sex but wouldn't go down on me. Pfft. I also told another friend of mine. So now at least 7 people know plus all of you! It isn't much but it's something!

I think it was one of the nurses at the sexual health clinic that first raised my awareness on people using the word "clean" to describe their sexual health status. I'm not meaning to pick on anyone because I used to use that term all the time. The nurse stopped me mid-sentence and told me that by saying "clean" I am implying that people with STIs are dirty. Which they aren't. So I booted "clean" from my vocabulary. Just a thought.

Also, one more thing _octi, like zoya mention "the talk" is for you too. Could you try introducing the subject by saying when you were last tested because hey you just wanted to let him know and hopefully he'll share with you too, or thik "hey - i should get myself checked out".

There might be more info/opinions in the Going Down thread re: protection and oral sex. Dunno though- I haven't been back all that long so you'd know better than me.

This thread, and Tracy from potpsychology have really helped me through this STI fiasco!

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fuego_lento
post Jan 30 2009, 07:03 PM
Post #51


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Hellcat, I'm not sure whether your doctor went over this with you, but there's apparently no test for HPV in men. So even if he went to the doctor and asked to be tested there's no way for anyone to know if he had it. And yes, your doctor can test for the strain(s) you had before. I'm not sure whether they test your Pap smear or check some other way, but it's doable. That's how I found out I am HPV-free, since my girldoc tests all her over-30 patients.

Also, lemme get on my soap box a second. Unless you ask specifically for a doctor to test you for herpes, it's not done. Many of them will look at you funny and break out a bright lamp, which isn't good enough -- you want a blood test, which checks for antibodies. The HerpeSelect is pretty inexpensive even if your insurance doesn't cover it, and will check for antibodies for both HSV1 (usually oral herpes) and HSV2 (which is usually genital herpes).

As a chick with herpes, I rarely have to tell a guy twice that he needs to wear condoms with me. It's one of the upsides of having cooties (the other being that I can quit worrying about whether I'll get it). I can't say it makes the "have you been tested" talk any easier, though. It's been years and I still freak out every time and wonder if I'm bringing it up too soon, being too awkward, etc.
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auralpoison
post Jan 30 2009, 06:20 PM
Post #52


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Huh. I've never had unprotected sex with anybody that wasn't long term committed. And I always insist on testing before we drop the condoms. A dear friend died in '86 to an early round of AIDS & it scared the ever living desire to fuck bareback out of me.

HB & I were six months into dating, four months into exclusivity before we stopped using condoms. We knew we were both clean, but I just kinda think both of us getting tested made it more official. Like, "We got tested, everything is cool, we are not going to be fucking anybody else, so buh-bye raincoat!"



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zoya
post Jan 30 2009, 02:36 PM
Post #53


uh huh.
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octinoxate - I basically just am like "we have to use a condom" no condom, no penetration. We can mutually masturbate, etc. (which I find to be really sexy) but I'm not letting a guy in me if there isn't a condom....and I fucking hate condoms. But it's just sensible. I have to say I've never used a dental dam or condom for oral sex - I know this is not the best thing, but I just haven't.

a way that I have put it with a guy before is that it's just as much for him as it is for me - how does he know that I don't have an STD? Most of the guys I've been with haven't thought of it that way - they just think of it as us not wanting to use one so as to not catch something or get pregnant.

in terms of the not using condoms thing, in the past when I had a steady partner and we were exclusive, I just got on the pill and we stopped using condoms. No testing, anything. But now if I get to that place with someone, I'm going to say that we'll both need to get tested first. No big deal - it's just being responsible. I think that even if you both know you're clean, it's just a good habit to get into, and it gives you a clean slate with each other in terms of sex. You don't even have to have thoughts about if they have something they don't know about. I actually did say that to someone recently that I'd been seeing for a couple of months and we'd been talking about not using condoms - I said that if we were going to continue, I really wanted to not use condoms (he agreed.) but that we'd both have to go get tested and we'd also have to agree that we weren't sleeping with anyone else. I wasn't trying to pressure him into anything, I just think that it's mature and responsible. I don't think that not using condoms with someone equals a major committed relationship, but I do think that it does necessitate some level of mutual commitment and honesty.

oh, eta - we never ended up doing it, because he broke up with me. that's another story, though.
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stargazer
post Jan 30 2009, 01:27 PM
Post #54


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octi, i don't think having the safe sex talk is ever smooth. bravo to you for being mature to have that conversation with your next partner! most men have usually just whipped out a condom in the beginning. jazzman was the only one who needed more training...like no condom, no sex...and i was lying there naked and i had no problem walking out the door. i have more difficulty in knowing how long in the dating game when to not use condoms. but, i guess that is just the next discussion. i will admit that i'm still slow to the whole using a condom for oral sex. i realized that when i filled out my sexual health history for my annual. i usually average 1-2 partners a year (hey, i'm not that much of a whore wink.gif ) and i get myself tested for HIV yearly. i will still do this even when i get married cause you never know. plus, i just see it as being responsible for my own body.

hellcat, i think octi put it best about meeting with your gyne so you can ease your mind and feel better about being with your next partner.

ETA: there's a funny scene in the movie "jeffrey" about managing to reveal your sexual history with a partner. it's a gay movie, a love story, set in the beginning of the AIDS outbreak in NYC. btw, i also get tested yearly after a good friend passed away from HIV related illness.


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_octinoxate
post Jan 30 2009, 02:55 AM
Post #55


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oh, hellcat, i didn't think it sounded crass/uncaring. just extra matter of fact! and yes, they should be able to test you for at least the 2 main types of hpv that lead to the majority of warts. (i suspect they may NOT be able to test you for so many other strains of hpv but that shouldn't matter too much.)

hmm... yes, your point about bringing safe sex up early (eg, before it's getting supersexxxy) is a good one. as you point out, it's tough to know exactly what to ask- there are all these little loopholes and issues that still put us at risk even when we are careful. i think part of my trouble too is just the wording. i tend to be direct so i lean toward saying something like "hey, so, i really want to have sex with you. could we get a certain conversation out of the way so that we can make that happen soon?" hehe, wonder if there's a smoother way to do that.
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hellcat
post Jan 30 2009, 02:34 AM
Post #56


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thanks _octinoxate! I am planning on going to the sexual health clinic, my doc just moved to the states (wah!). I just reread over my last post and I sounded a lot more crass and uncaring then I was going far. Bad hellcat! I didn't think it was possible to test for HPV unless it is for the types that can lead to cancer. Well, I'll just have to go to the clinic and figure this out. The internet cannot be trusted for such an issue.

I've only had 3 sexual partners so I don't have a lot of seasoned advice for you on bringing up "the talk". With the last two partners I brought it up right before the gettin' it on started gettin' on. I suggest bringing it up earlier because it can either a) ruin the mood cool.gif lead to unclear answers or c) lying. I have always asked about testing and if there was a sex partner b/w testing and I still ended up with genital warts from the guy I was in a serious monogomous relationship with. Tricky situations.

I am on the fence re: oral & condoms/dental dams. I feel like it is a neccessity in this day and age, yet I still find the idea of blowing a condom covered c*ck unappealing. I've never had experience with a dd but I hear if you put some lube b/w your skin and the dd it feels extra nice!
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_octinoxate
post Jan 29 2009, 12:33 PM
Post #57


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hi hellcat. what about going to your doc before you start having sex again, and see if she (or he) can straight-out test you for that strain of HPV? they should be able to do that, and then you know for sure if there's anything to disclose or not. if going to the doc isn't an option, well, if i were in your next sex partner's shoes, i'd want you to let me know the situation just as you presented it to us. that way, he/she can make an informed decision, and you won't have to feel bad if (on the off chance) something DID happen.

so, i have a question of my own. please let me know if this has already been discussed, or fits better in another thread. Q: what's the best way to have the safe-sex Talk in general? i don't have any stds, so i'm not coming at this question from the angle of how-do-i-disclose. i just find it really awkward to have that talk (about the last time we were both tested, what for, etc etc) and would LOVE some suggestions on how to go about it. when do i approach it? what do i say? etc? and- is it overkill to use condoms/dental dams for oral? thanks a lot for any feedback.
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candycane_girl
post Jan 4 2009, 01:28 PM
Post #58


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He said that his penis is fine now. We're still going to get tested just in case but I suspect that it's just because of what I originally said, with him being uncut and not showering for so long in between (plus I was on my period and there's always weird shit coming out of there).
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hellcat
post Jan 2 2009, 03:00 AM
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I have just got back on to the single scene and am now faced with the telling new partners my sexual history- whoopee! So, here is my question fair BUSTies - do I have to tell? I had a single genital wart break out starting sept 2006 and they were cleared up by dec 2006. I remember my doc saying something like if after 2 years there was no reoccurance it was highly unlikely it would come back. I'm wondering if I could still be a carrier or something. I know most partners probably won't care much either way but...well you get the point. Right?

Candycane_girl, how is his penis today? Is the burning still there? It might be a good idea to ask what they are testing you for because some tests aren't as complete. In my city we have a sexual health clinic that you can sign up for and they don't do it by gender. Those waiting rooms are always great, no?
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candycane_girl
post Jan 1 2009, 04:46 PM
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My boyfriend is uncircumcised too. We both agreed that we should get tested but I just feel so freaked out right now. I've had tests before and have never tested positive for anything. I hope that everything is okay. I'm also finding it difficult to locate any place that does testing for couples. There is one clinic that is supposed to be good but the men's and women's tests are at different times.
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