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> Mooooving on!!!!!
jami
post Dec 19 2007, 11:40 PM
Post #881


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


Hi Nick. yeah, she's the one with problems. try not to let it get to you.

lamex did not accept my counter to his settlement. he wants to give me 1/3. of course my counter was different.
this means a trial in about a year. his lawyer is 2 to 3 times what mine costs, eating away at proceeds. and he still does not see son, and did not even call last month. home sale may be within three weeks. proceeds frozen till judge makes a decision on who gets what. but where do son and I live in the meantime? oh, and once home sells, it's 30 days for us to move. we don't even have our stuff split up yet. and we've been at it over 10 months.

nothing new really, just wanted to update.
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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nickclick
post Dec 15 2007, 12:48 PM
Post #882


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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


quite possibly. a mutual friend says she dated a lot of cheaters in the past. so if she's got insecurity issues, she's gotta work them out with her boyfriend, not send her crazy over my way.
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girlygirlgag
post Dec 14 2007, 03:27 PM
Post #883


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From: Your mom's house.


QUOTE(nickclick @ Dec 13 2007, 03:07 PM) *
hi carnes, thanks for checking in, and glad all is well.

i have a moving on-related story..... i sent out my christmas cards last week, including one to my ex and his girlfriend, who live together. i'm polite and shit like that. so anyway she sends me this dripping-with-snot email about how i shouldn't include her in my correspondence with him because we're not friends nor acquaintances and she'd be polite to me if we were ever forced in a public situation (we were a few months ago, and she was) but not to assume any more. my 'correspondence' (in other words, the two cards a year that i send, christmas and birthday) is somehow interfering with her present and future with her man, who's a good man and wants nothing more to do with me.

what the? i sent a christmas card! i responded that i was only using the manners my momma taught me and i wasn't applying for her friendship in any way whatsoever. i also pointed out that we'd always be acquaintances and referred her to a dictionary. her response was that my manners are slipping based on my rude response. well, my momma also taught me to have self-respect and stick up for myself. and PS i was the breakup-er and am now quite happily coupled. the life that she is currently 'enjoying' is the one i escaped almost 2 years ago.

does anyone else have insecure mates of exes harrassing them? or am i special?



Does she have mental problems? I think she does.


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Constantly on.
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jami
post Dec 13 2007, 10:36 AM
Post #884


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


Nick...
yeah.......uh.........no
this chickie's got some problems
I don't see this anything to do with you in any way. I do not see you as being the harrassing or antagonistic one at all.
you're just being you're 'ol sweet self. just shake this one off, love.
~jami~





QUOTE(nickclick @ Dec 13 2007, 03:07 PM) *
hi carnes, thanks for checking in, and glad all is well.

i have a moving on-related story..... i sent out my christmas cards last week, including one to my ex and his girlfriend, who live together. i'm polite and shit like that. so anyway she sends me this dripping-with-snot email about how i shouldn't include her in my correspondence with him because we're not friends nor acquaintances and she'd be polite to me if we were ever forced in a public situation (we were a few months ago, and she was) but not to assume any more. my 'correspondence' (in other words, the two cards a year that i send, christmas and birthday) is somehow interfering with her present and future with her man, who's a good man and wants nothing more to do with me.

what the? i sent a christmas card! i responded that i was only using the manners my momma taught me and i wasn't applying for her friendship in any way whatsoever. i also pointed out that we'd always be acquaintances and referred her to a dictionary. her response was that my manners are slipping based on my rude response. well, my momma also taught me to have self-respect and stick up for myself. and PS i was the breakup-er and am now quite happily coupled. the life that she is currently 'enjoying' is the one i escaped almost 2 years ago.

does anyone else have insecure mates of exes harrassing them? or am i special?



--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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nickclick
post Dec 13 2007, 08:50 AM
Post #885


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


hi carnes, thanks for checking in, and glad all is well.

i have a moving on-related story..... i sent out my christmas cards last week, including one to my ex and his girlfriend, who live together. i'm polite and shit like that. so anyway she sends me this dripping-with-snot email about how i shouldn't include her in my correspondence with him because we're not friends nor acquaintances and she'd be polite to me if we were ever forced in a public situation (we were a few months ago, and she was) but not to assume any more. my 'correspondence' (in other words, the two cards a year that i send, christmas and birthday) is somehow interfering with her present and future with her man, who's a good man and wants nothing more to do with me.

what the? i sent a christmas card! i responded that i was only using the manners my momma taught me and i wasn't applying for her friendship in any way whatsoever. i also pointed out that we'd always be acquaintances and referred her to a dictionary. her response was that my manners are slipping based on my rude response. well, my momma also taught me to have self-respect and stick up for myself. and PS i was the breakup-er and am now quite happily coupled. the life that she is currently 'enjoying' is the one i escaped almost 2 years ago.

does anyone else have insecure mates of exes harrassing them? or am i special?
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carnescarnes
post Dec 13 2007, 07:52 AM
Post #886


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 268


*delurks*

Assuming that no news is good news, I'm glad all is quiet! But I also wanted to make sure this thread didn't disappear into the ether - I made a lot of use of it at one point.

So... BUMP

Best wishes to all!

*relurks*
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nickclick
post Nov 17 2007, 10:35 AM
Post #887


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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


good news jami! and good kids you've raised!
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jami
post Nov 17 2007, 10:13 AM
Post #888


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


two good things happened yesterday... lawyer told me that LamEx did not reply to our custody papers. two months I have been waiting. this means that he is admitting that he does *not* want son. I have custody. lamex could try to make an argument against this later, but it says it all that he did not object to court documents, even try to see son, and that he did not do what court ordered him. <whew> and major YEA.
the second is that older son called me. two hours! calming me and giving me advise. smart boy, that one. he said I could move back, buy a house, buy a second smaller house as an investment, use the rent to pay prop taxes - I'd be set. he said he wanted to see me go back to school. said I was a wonderful doctor mom, and I should pursue that as a career. he's a good one. he wants us back home to be surrounded by people who love us and will help and support us. he said he'd give us his room, and he'd sleep out in the car. (which is what he did last summer when we came for a visit). he just wants us safe and home.
now ~that's~ the kind of man for others to emulate. my baby boy.
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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jami
post Nov 12 2007, 11:19 AM
Post #889


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


hiya nickclick...
lawyer says trial won't begin till April or May. and it'll take a week and a half at least.
that's just insane. things move so ..s..l..o..w.. out here.
I've been getting stronger, which always suprises me. son and I are real good. he hasn't cut the mohawk yet. I kinda like it...
heard something on tv yesterday. had to go back and tape it...
"Always Blessings, Never Losses"
wow. what a healing thing to say.


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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nickclick
post Nov 12 2007, 09:23 AM
Post #890


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From: jersey


hi jami, is there an anticipated date for when the divorce will finally be final? let the countdown begin.
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jami
post Nov 10 2007, 12:37 PM
Post #891


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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


court was 11am to 4pm. longer than I thought it would be. judge gave him about 1/10th of what they wanted, if that. stupid stuff, harrassing stuff. we have not asked for anything from the court. and out of court, he is still not co-operating.
today son asked if dad was here. I said no. (he lives with her most of the time) and we went outside for a bit. he still won't go out if dad is here.


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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jami
post Nov 5 2007, 06:53 PM
Post #892


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


hey, nick!! didn't recognize you 'cause your icon thingie changed. (it's nice)
while son is considerate and all, he did yell at me today. he had promised to go with me somewhere, then changed his mind without saying so, and when I was ready to go, I got yelled at. this is like when his father was here.
I'm not liking this.
ex has to give me a list of reimbursements. his list was cut off on the copy - some of the dollars amounts missing. I objected to paying the total amount until I get a clean copy. so now he's denying *all* my reimbursements. so childish!!! he is a spoiled child with power. think of Billy Mumy in that Twilight Zone episode.
court is Friday. again. ...<sigh>...


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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nickclick
post Nov 5 2007, 11:21 AM
Post #893


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From: jersey


hi jami, that's a valid fear, but your son seems smart and sensitive (s+s, to borrow your abbreviations!).
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jami
post Nov 4 2007, 10:01 PM
Post #894


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Posts: 1,281
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update - (also posted on another thread)

son lashed out at me yesterday, yelling and all. I know it's 'cause he can't yell at his dad. he's not strong enough yet. and he knows I will be here for him no matter what. it was awful hard though. it wasn't till he came, hugged me, kissed my head and apologized for yelling and hurting my feelings that I reaized how much it *did* hurt. he said I will never loose him. no matter what. (custody)
hope he will get counseling with me once this is over with and we move. he has to know that the way we were treated is not the way you treat someone that you love. he already does have some characteristics of his father.

son says he wants to spend time with dad. I understand this, I do, but it's tearing me apart. I have this FEAR that the brainwashing and bashing will begin and son may not want to stay with me. I know that the b+b will happen. but I have to believe in my son's stregnth. but he's still just a boy. this is so hard.


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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jami
post Nov 4 2007, 06:47 PM
Post #895


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 1,281
From: I'm back to life in California


where we used to live, ours was one of the few diesel trucks. here, they are everywhere. when walking after court with my lawyer to his office, someone started their truck. I cringed and ducked. didn't even realize that I had done it. ...hate... diesel trucks.


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
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sassygrrl
post Nov 1 2007, 01:31 PM
Post #896


sassygrrl
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OMG. I know. I just started a new job, and I walked into the break room to grab some coffee. I thought my ex fiancee was working at the company! This dude looked just like him--same body type and look and everything. I freaked the fuck out. sleep.gif

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snarky7
post Oct 31 2007, 11:33 PM
Post #897


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Posts: 371
From: If I'm posting, I'm not at Zumba!


been awhile - missed y'all!

why is it that those exes stay in your minds and reappear at the WORST possible moments? Get this: I was getting some fabulous portions last week when the picture of my cheating-ex and the girl he cheated on me with flashed into my brain. WTF? Here I am, with my fab new guy, and why the hell am I thinking of the @#*HOLE! I still think I see his truck around and watch for him at the stupid grocery store. I had an easier time getting over my ex-HUSBAND than this jerk! What's wrong with us?

Anyway, charli - you're not alone! but what do you think you're accomplishing by talking to him? do you want him to take you back? do you want to go back to him? the answer's likely are NOTHING and NO and NO, but think about it! (credit goes to my counselor who asked me the same question when i kept trying to txt the ex-bf after we'd split)

(((((BUSTIES)))))
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jami
post Oct 12 2007, 08:39 PM
Post #898


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charli - I agree with Nickclick and Zoya. get away, stay away, keep away. don't let him in your mind.
how has it been going anyway?

on the homefront here... may be selling. the offer is verbal, getting written now. if it goes thru - $ goes into a holding acct till the divorce is final. (still waiting on his paperwork requested in April. my paperwork is due in 3 weeks.) have not told son about the sale. won't either till things are more confirmed. he's been thru enough. he does not need to worry about where we will live. I worry enough.

and thanks for the positive thoughts coming my way.
~jami~


--------------------
You will travel through the valley of rejection.
You will reside in the land of morning mists.
And you will find your home.
Though it will not be to where you left it.
Go to the top of the page
 
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nickclick
post Oct 10 2007, 08:19 AM
Post #899


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Posts: 2,134
From: jersey


i agree with zoya. i don't think talking to HIM will resolve any of YOUR feelings, which i can understand your having...... something similar happened to me last month. my ex and his gf were invited to a party i was going to, so the anticipation was eating at me. is she cuter than me? is he happier now? does she treat him right?

i was trying to be honest with mr.nick and telling him my feelings, and yeah, i felt like a bad gf for just the fact that my brain was on my ex for any amount of time, especially because i'm much happier now, mr.nick's a great bf, and we were just moving in together.

at the party, it was actually good to have that in-my-face comparison of my old life and my new one. it's so easy to sugarcoat your memories and feel nostalgic for time passed.

moral of my long boring story...... your life is better now with your new man. enjoy it!

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zoya
post Oct 9 2007, 03:46 PM
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uh huh.
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charli - you can't really help your feelings, I don't think you are being a shitty wife. However, I would say at this point: cut. off. all. contact. with. ex. it doesn't have to be forever, but girl, you need to back off. right. now. You're going to dig yourself in a deeper hole with him if you don't walk away from the hole you're digging by talking to him. Stop putting your feelings on him. They're your feelings and he doesn't have anything to do with them now. You can stop all of this by cutting it off. Tell him you can't talk to him for awhile. you don't have to explain why. Hell, just say you're busy. But cut it off. Remove him from your buddy list for awhile if you have to. don't go on instant messenger. Whatever. Just back off. For your own sake and your own sanity. Charli, there is nothing you can do about this - I think the bigger question is, why is it bugging YOU so much? this might be something you need to work through, on your own, for you. xo
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