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> BustSecret: Ordinary Confessions from Extraordinary Busties
erinjane
post Aug 18 2008, 06:07 PM
Post #2941


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,301
From: Winnipeg


I agree with what Zoya said. I went to counseling but with a therapist for just a few months but it really helped me when I needed it. I sort of felt like I already knew what I needed to change but I didn't know how to articulate it. The therapist was there more to help me face the stuff I already knew and once I'd done that I felt like I didn't need to go anymore. I feel like people aren't honest enough anymore in everyday interactions and we've gotten out of practice of how to deal with our shit. I liked speaking to someone because I felt like I could be totally honest and I knew she was being honest with me because I was paying her to. tongue.gif


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zoya
post Aug 18 2008, 05:32 PM
Post #2942


uh huh.
***
Posts: 1,818
From: the world.


I'm gonna jump in on the therapy is a great thing bandwagon...

the way I see it, it's not a weakness to go to therapy - it's a strength, to know that you want to become a more well adjusted, healthy person. It's a strength to face your issues dead on and walk through them with the assistance of someone who knows how to truly help you grow through it all. There are so many people that have issues that color their whole world, how they deal with people on a day to day basis, relationships, etc etc in a counterproductive manner, who don't choose to deal with those issues.... I think it's a sign of huge personal strength to care enough about yourself that you are willing to reach out for the assistance and do the work to become a more whole, healthy person and have a more content life, relationships, etc.

so yea, that's my .02 cents. Therapy with an amazing therapist has changed my life hugely for the better.
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freckleface7
post Aug 18 2008, 05:23 PM
Post #2943


beachcomber
***
Posts: 1,200
From: societal fringe


confession: after some internal discussion with myself.. the resurfacing of 2 ex boyfriends (both happily married, which is wonderful) is maybe the universe showing me that while yes, I did have shit relationships w/ a good # of really shitassed men in the past, there were also some really nice, good ones too that still think of me well, that care enough even 20 years later, to hope I am ok and have no ulterior motives past that.
that's cool. that says as a reminder to me ' you are worthy of love & affection based on who you are bc who you are is O K. you're not too much or too little but just right as you are and those that don't get it, or make you feel otherwise were never worth your time or affections to begine with.'

it's a heady thing to begin to internalize but I'm working on it.

say it w/ me busties....

" I Am O K ! "


confession: I'm sitting up here busting bc I'm afraid to go try my new meds. unsure.gif


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stargazer
post Aug 18 2008, 04:31 PM
Post #2944


brown delicious
***
Posts: 2,938
From: here, there, everywhere


confession: i'm wondering if all of these setbacks are a sign that i'm not cutout for psychology. i feel like i give up.


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"I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!"-Homer Simpson
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freckleface7
post Aug 18 2008, 12:59 PM
Post #2945


beachcomber
***
Posts: 1,200
From: societal fringe


mouse, thirtiesgirl is right (here's your amen).
if you feel you are ready for it, listen to your gut and do it.

I started about 6 or 7 weeks ago out of extreme neccessity & it's one of the best calls I've ever made.
each time I see her, I walk out feeling 1000x's better.
it's a good sounding board for your own sanity if nothing else.
I don't think there's any issue to it anymore, everyone does it and it's probably one of the smarter societal trends for a change.

(((mouse))))

gt sweets, you already know; do it for that wonderful teenaged girl in your heart. give her a break & let her talk to somone bc if she's hurting, that's not right.
((((((((gt))))))))))


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thirtiesgirl
post Aug 18 2008, 10:46 AM
Post #2946


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 580
From: Loss Angeles


Confession: I'm a pedantic old biddy, which is why I got into education. To illustrate: if you feel you're ready for therapy and your health insurance doesn't cover it, or only covers a certain number of visits, there are several counseling centers out there who use sliding scale fees, based on what you can pay at the moment. The reason they're able to do this is because they employ therapists who are in the process of finishing their internship hours. Which means it might be a little harder to find a therapist who is a good fit for you, but if you're not comfortable with the therapist they set you up with, you can always ask them to find you another, which they're usually glad to do.

After breaking up with a long term boyfriend in '98, I was a mess. I went to my community counseling center, had the intake appointment, and they set me up with a woman who was my age. I told them I couldn't afford more than $20 per session, which they accepted. But I was a little worried about my therapist's youth and seeming lack of experience. As our sessions went on, though, I realized she was actually good for what I needed at the time, which was just to have someone listen to me vent about the ex-b/f for 9 months. We did briefly get into some other personal stuff, but I wasn't ready to dig any deeper at the time and she didn't push me. After a year, I ended our therapeutic relationship because I was ready to move on. ...But about 2 years later, I returned to the counseling center, having realized there were deeper issues going on with me that I needed some help to work out. I was finally ready to dig. They set me up with a different therapist this time, and again accepted my offer to pay $20 per session.

That started a therapeutic relationship that has lasted 8 years. The woman they set me up with was the right therapist for me, in so many ways. We have worked on so much stuff and been through so much stuff together. Over the course of our therapeutic relationship, she became licensed and was able to charge more money for her services. The counseling center did a fee re-evaluation every year as it was, so my therapist's fees didn't exceed that when she raised them.

My experience has shown me that when you're ready to do the work and you've found the right therapist for you, you can make a lot of discoveries, have some breakthroughs and accomplish a lot. There are different schools of therapy, too. Some therapists are more directive than others, and some focus on rationality, which works for some clients and doesn't work for others. My therapist is more Rogerian, meaning she follows therapist Carl Rogers' practices, which involves a lot of reflective listening (repeating back to the client what they just said, which serves to help enforce the therapeutic relationship, since the client really feels as if they've been heard). A large part of the therapeutic relationship is finding the right therapist for you with whom you can develop the therapeutic bond, which isn't like any other bond in your life. It's not parental, friend, or partner, but a person in your life who listens to you and sees you in ways that friends, family members and co-workers don't or can't. And you have to feel comfortable enough with them to allow them to see the emotional, scary stuff when you're ready to go there, and feel ok that they're in it with you. Or at least be ok with starting to let them in.

'Nuff said. I've blathered on too long as usual. But I'm all about good therapy and know how it can be helpful. As a secular humanist, I guess this would be the equivalent of a fundamentalist christian 'witnessing' about the 'glory of god' in an attempt to convert you. Can I get an 'amen' for the witness?? Testify.


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I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
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mouse
post Aug 18 2008, 10:40 AM
Post #2947


Most Likely Procrastinating
***
Posts: 2,534
From: shangri-l.a.


QUOTE(girltrouble @ Aug 18 2008, 07:59 AM) *
confession: i know i need therapy. but i'm annoyed that i do. it pisses me off i can't figure my shit out by myself, but it's very obvious to anyone who really, really knows me, i can't.


girl is speaking my BRAIN.

gt, DARLING, you couldn't have said it better. that's exactly it, beyond the time/money hassle. like "come on. just get on with it. why are you dwelling on this, just get over it. SUCK IT UP". i actually have major disdain (which i know is probably something i have to work on, ha) for people with issues who can't get over them. but i think i'm actually one of them. it's also frustrating because it's like--i had a great fucking childhood. i was raised to have such self-confidence. i used to think i was remarkably well-adjusted. why the hell aren't i????


((((girltrouble)))


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Moonpieluv
post Aug 18 2008, 10:14 AM
Post #2948


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 354
From: barebacking a pink fuzzy unicorn


confession: I'm afraid that I will never be happy. in love, in career, in location, with myself. or content..content is the word I'm looking for.
I get the feeling that everyone else I know is just peaches n cream, and I'm the one who just can't seem to make a smoother ride for myself. that life for them is just ho-hum and normal and they are in happy relationships or engaged, in school, or working on some art show, or working on some album, or already have a jump start on their career, not in debt, and what not...I dunno. I know it's not true, but I get that pinch in my stomach about how my insecurities have disabled me from doing all those things myself.
I feel like I've made mistake after mistake in the past couple of years. I try to think of it as a growing experience. that all my upheavals will have a positive outcome. but, sometimes I just don't know what to think or do anymore. I'm not trusting my intuition. not trusting my judgments. So I fear making decisions. I'm so in the thick of living with the consequences of my judgments.


(((Bunnyb))) I'm so sorry about your kitty. I would be devastated if I had to leave mine, but at least your kitty will be safe. I hope for the time-being means that you will soon be reunited. I've had to leave my kitty with my parents before when uprooting. It's hard, but safety is what matters for my little chewy.
I think your move sounds amazing and exciting otherwise!!! GL!!
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culturehandy
post Aug 18 2008, 10:14 AM
Post #2949


(o)(o)
***
Posts: 11,350
From: Oh boobs


I miss her already.


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Hatred does not cease in this world by hating, but by not hating; this is an eternal truth. --- Buddah, The Dhammapada
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girltrouble
post Aug 18 2008, 09:59 AM
Post #2950


new highs in personal lows daily!
***
Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


confession: i know i need therapy. but i'm annoyed that i do. it pisses me off i can't figure my shit out by myself, but it's very obvious to anyone who really, really knows me, i can't.
and what mouse said.

confession: i really don't want to get a job. i'd much rather go back to school, something i thought i'd never say. the job market has been so heartbreaking cruel for me in the last year, i really don't want to face it again.

confession: i wear my heart on my sleeve, and i hate it. i feel everything waaaaaaay too deeply.



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"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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mouse
post Aug 18 2008, 03:53 AM
Post #2951


Most Likely Procrastinating
***
Posts: 2,534
From: shangri-l.a.


confession: i think i need therapy. but i don't want to deal with the time or expense.


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freckleface7
post Aug 18 2008, 12:27 AM
Post #2952


beachcomber
***
Posts: 1,200
From: societal fringe


confession: how very odd, that no less than 2 former boyfriends have contacted me in the last 2 weeks now;
I'm trying to figure out if it means something.. but can't fathom what?
(see Gt? the 2nd one's wife sent me a sweet note on our myspace tonight)
kinda feels like a 'this is your life 20{million} YEARS AGO freckleface..'

(((((((bunnyb))))))) all things will fall into place, just wait & see. but my heart hurts for you having to leave your cat behind; I did that once and it almost killed both of us as my parents said she Mourned me for weeks after I left.
sad.gif (((((((((bunnyb & kitty))))))))))) are you Sure you cannot take her with you?


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bunnyb
post Aug 17 2008, 10:53 AM
Post #2953


The artist now known as I don't give a shit.
***
Posts: 4,053


Thanks (((freckle))) and (((syb))). freckle, I'm moving from Glasgow, Scotland to London, England so not that far away that I can't go home to visit regularly and people can come visit me (if the want to).

I have a lot of confessions and ambivalent thoughts surrounding uprooting. I am doing what's right for me, my career and my relationship (the boy and I are going to live together for the first time) and that's all great but I am also relieved to be escaping from my home life, especially my sister and the problems that come with her. Having a lot of distance and living my own life is what I need, even if it does make me selfish. It sounds harsh but the only thing I am upset about leaving is my cat (who, for the time-being is staying at home).


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"Hey, did anyone ever think Sylvia Plath wasn't crazy, maybe she was just cold? " (Lorelai Gilmore)
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sybarite
post Aug 16 2008, 05:35 PM
Post #2954


it's cards on the table time
***
Posts: 1,993


((Bunnyb)) I've been there. The friends worth your time and affection will make time to see you.

Confession: piggybacking on other people's confessions. To wit: EJ, a friend of the mister's has a really irrritating 6 year old and I hate it when they come to the house. She sits in front of the TV and watches kiddy shit, and screams if I try and change the channel... in our house. Grrr.

Freckle, I always feel guilty if I'm drinking when the mister's daughter is around. And last night I was totally drinking for the buzz: it's been a long week (year?) and I was determined to unwind however possible. I'm sorry to hear you couldn't get your buzz on.
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freckleface7
post Aug 16 2008, 04:27 PM
Post #2955


beachcomber
***
Posts: 1,200
From: societal fringe


bunny: do not expect it to be much different later when you go back to visit where you started from; people will still expect you to come to them, even if you have already at that point, traveled hundreds and thousands of miles to get back there, the same place they took you for granted to start with. they will be terribly hurt & put out if you don't make the effort to then travel the additional hour-2 -whatever.
sometimes, people just suck.

where are you moving to?
good luck! I hope it's a wonderful expereince for you!


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bunnyb
post Aug 16 2008, 01:15 PM
Post #2956


The artist now known as I don't give a shit.
***
Posts: 4,053


confession: I am a little pissed off at people not making the effort to spend time with me before I uproot to another city NEXT MONTH. I suppose I'll be out of sight, out of mind. I understand that people are busy but I'm the one who has to do a shitload before I leave and yet I'd still like to hang out with my friends before I do. I cannot help but feel slighted and selfish although it may succeed in making me less nostalgic about home.


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freckleface7
post Aug 16 2008, 12:15 PM
Post #2957


beachcomber
***
Posts: 1,200
From: societal fringe


confession: I drank last night after I ate, and was sorely disappointed at the lack of buzz acquired;
granted, it's wrong to drink to get drunk straight off I know and I was somewhat ashamed to drink in front of frecklette at all, but really, still thought it'd be worth the mother-guilt price and then it wasn't at all.
I felt guilty & still totally sober.
what shit.

confession: both the puppy's and my kitchen floor are insanely, nasty dirty, but am not sure I feel up to bathing either of them, as it's not one or the other but always absolutely Both and am just feeling kinda blah right now.

confession: being an "adult" really bites sometimes when I am feeling lazi & resent the hell out of not having people come in & do shit for me.


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erinjane
post Aug 16 2008, 12:09 PM
Post #2958


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,301
From: Winnipeg


Confession: I do not want to hang out with my 5 year old niece today. I was in a decent mood when I got up but now my brother and her have come over and I just want them to fucking leave. Actually I want my entire family to fucking leave! My parents leave for a month on Monday. Living at home is getting real old real fast.


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girltrouble
post Aug 16 2008, 11:20 AM
Post #2959


new highs in personal lows daily!
***
Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


confession: i resent the hell out of mr. trouble's roomate. he is a real lummox, who doesn't know his own strength, constantly breaking things, and in the time that i have known the two of them, he has broken 2 toilet seats! WTF? HOW DO YOU BREAK A TOILET SEAT?! after that i took to calling him 'ol' iron ass.' i have to admit, i'm mean to him because he's a slob. he spilled ground coffee on the floor and two days later... still there! and he takes no responibility! he's 60+ years old and he's like a f'ing child! he gets food in his beard, and when i call him on it he says, "nuh i don't." i started calling him captain foodbeard after that.

confession: i love talking to him. he's taught me a lot, he's one of the best people to talk to about some of my favorite subjects: politics, labor/union history, film or music (but no, i don't want to hear shit about dylan or the beatles AGAIN), and he is the best pain submissive to learn and bdsm thing on from whips, floggers, canes etc, on, but fuck if he doesn't PISS ME THE FUCK OFF! FUCKING GROW UP.

confession:i love how sharp my tounge is. after years of muzzling myself, it's nice to know i can insult someone to their face and have them be none the wiser.


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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sybarite
post Aug 16 2008, 10:56 AM
Post #2960


it's cards on the table time
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Posts: 1,993


I ignore the fact that even though I don't drive (thank you, European public transport systems) I probably have a sizeable carbon footprint due to a lot of longhaul flights.
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