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> is it called a crush because that's what it does to you?
futura
post Apr 25 2010, 01:44 AM
Post #41


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((((Zoya))))) Hear hear.

((((Odyssey))))

(((Pointybird))))

*Reviving the thread*

About the guy i wrote about in my last post (co-worker); definitely an awkward moment between us this past week. I know he has two kids, so i have no idea what the domestic situation is there. But he made an attempt to find out if i was single or not. I dicked around, pretending not to understand what he meant (i hadn't seen him for a while and when he walked in he seemed glad to see me, asking if it was Ms or Mrs Futura, you know, greeting me with a mock excessive courtesy).
Anyway, at some point we just *looked* at eachother, smiling. Jeez, this is at work, on a high profile location. It quite hot in there all of a sudden. He said 'see you soon' in this manner which made me wonder.
It's such a bad idea to get involved with him, though. I don't think i'll go there. And maybe he's married and just heavily flirting, i dunno, some guys are just crazy.

I have a date in a week or so. I met a guy at a bar. I was with a friend out on the town, and we ended up in this bar literally reeking of desperation. I had a good time watching all the people snog and trying to score. I didn't see anyone remotely interesting. Until i looked over my shoulder. I turned back my head in a split second, thinking it was one of those good looking guys being all arrogant, so i didn't want to let him knmow he peaked my interest. At some point we stood close enought for him to engage in a conversation with me. He dicked around, trying to pass himself off as American, but my knowledge of the English-American language is too extensive to fool me. He eventually caved. He pretended he was a businessman selling showerheads. So that became the gag of the night. He called me yesterday, at first asking if i needed any showerheads, cos you know, he has this stock he can't seem to sell. I was a nice parrallel for asking me out. Which he literally did btw. So we can talk about something else than showerheads, because he acknowledged that it was getting tired.

I'm going for a drink with him quite early in the evening in about a week.


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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odysseylily
post Apr 11 2010, 12:53 PM
Post #42


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I feel ya, zoya and pointybird. I've been crushing really hard on this guy for a few months. He acts like he's really into me but has explicitly stated that he is not. We're really good friends now but that's all it's ever going to be. I get so disappointed.
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zoya
post Apr 7 2010, 09:35 PM
Post #43


uh huh.
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my thing is, all the guys I know or meet tell me how amazing I am, how awesome, how I am so cool, have my shit together, etc... and yet, they're never into me "that way." (and sometimes I suspect are scared to go there even if they were) I am the perpetual best friend. The best friend who gets told how hot, awesome, etc they are - and then also gets told 'you'll meet some guy' or 'why don't you have a boyfriend?' When the fucking guys saying it would do just fine, thank you - but since I'm the perpetual friend, nope. I don't want to put negativity out there, but it happens over and over and over and I'm emotionally exhausted.
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thepointybird
post Apr 7 2010, 01:06 PM
Post #44


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It is so hard to be optimistic. Some people seem to find the whole thing so easy, but I hardly ever even meet anyone - I just moved to a new city, I don't know many people yet and I'm really struggling to find work, so even if I wanted to get out & about, I can't afford it. Not that it would matter anyway, seems the boys I like are taken, or they're not into me. This was the first real crush I've had in years, it's such a disappointment to not even now have the chance to get to know him and see if there's anything really there. It's just the icing on the cake of what has been a particularly underwhelming "new city" experience.
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zoya
post Apr 7 2010, 12:50 PM
Post #45


uh huh.
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QUOTE(thepointybird @ Apr 7 2010, 10:28 AM) *
FFS, romantic disappointment is the fucking story of my life and I am getting so sick of it. I don't think I'll go to the gig now. I think it's just going to be too hard to see them together looking all happy. When's it going to be my turn? sad.gif



welcome to my world.... that's been my mantra for too fucking long. I try to stay optimistic, but when it just happens over and over, it's really fucking challenging to, sometimes.
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thepointybird
post Apr 7 2010, 12:28 PM
Post #46


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Sigh.... I just found out today via Facebook that this guy I have been crushing on hard for about 9 months has actually started dating a female friend of his. We've only talked online so far but I recently moved to the same city as him (unrelated, it had been planned for a long time before I "met" him) and we are probably going to run into each other for the first time at this gig on Friday night. He'd only talked to me about her a little bit but they were obviously really close friends and now are officially dating. FFS, romantic disappointment is the fucking story of my life and I am getting so sick of it. I don't think I'll go to the gig now. I think it's just going to be too hard to see them together looking all happy. When's it going to be my turn? sad.gif
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anna k
post Mar 25 2010, 09:28 PM
Post #47


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Tonight I went out to this local indie film meetup. And it went well! I met some guys in a local band who are going to be doing a show in the area next weekend, I'm gonna check it out. And I had nice conversations with people. We saw a short film about a guy who loved The Big Lebowski, but whose wife hated it, and a documentary about diehard fans of Elvis Presley. Both were fun and interesting to watch.

I felt tired midway through the Elvis doc, so I left, and one of the band guys was outside smoking. He called out to me, "Didn't like the movie?" He was nice and we chatted about the local film scene, and he let me know that a short film festival just played in the area in January (I wanted to kick myself for not knowing that!) and that it may play again later in the year. I felt a little shy chatting, but also felt this mix of excitement and attraction, enjoying talking to a reasonably cute guy about movies. And happy that he called me over to chat, since I'm used to just being on my own.

So next week I'll go check out his band, just to have fun and be social and slightly flirty with anyone I find cute. I also found his bandmate cute and chatted him up a little. It just felt like a breather from the OKCupid nerd dates where nothing is going on.
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starship
post Mar 21 2010, 02:03 PM
Post #48


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QUOTE(stargazer @ Mar 21 2010, 06:17 PM) *
starship, have you mentioned to this guy your concerns about entering a new relationship?


When we first met i talked to him (as friends) about my last relationship and how it'd left me wanting to be on my own for a while and once he told me he liked me i told him about my concerns. So I think he has a pretty good idea. but at the same time he probably doesn't fully understand everything
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stargazer
post Mar 21 2010, 01:17 PM
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QUOTE(starship @ Mar 21 2010, 11:57 AM) *
It's like I'm subconsciously stopping myself from getting too emotionally attached, which isn't any fun and I'm sure he'll get fed up of it eventually.


starship, have you mentioned to this guy your concerns about entering a new relationship?


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"I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!"-Homer Simpson
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starship
post Mar 21 2010, 11:57 AM
Post #50


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I was just flicking through and wanted to say a big woo to anna for giving that guy your card:) As a fellow 'inept dork' I'm very proud lol

There's a guy i kind of like at the moment and he likes me too and wants to get into a relationship with me (yay so far..) but (uhoh..) i think that my first big heartbreak and the aftermath of it (stalking harassment etc, not on my part lol) has left me really guarded and reluctant to commit to anybody in that way. It's like I'm subconsciously stopping myself from getting too emotionally attached, which isn't any fun and I'm sure he'll get fed up of it eventually. I have no idea how to stop it though, perhaps I'm destined for a life of crushing and nothing more huh.gif
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anna k
post Mar 18 2010, 10:14 PM
Post #51


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I went out on a date a few weeks ago, with a guy I met from OKCupid, but I haven't felt like seeing the guy again. It was pleasant and nice, but I just don't have any interest, and don't know if we'll see each other again. We chat online sometimes, but hardly have anything to say. I'm just over going out with guys who are nice and "safe," but do nothing for me attraction-wise.

But besides that, I've felt comfortable lately approaching guys who I found attractive, had good conversations with, but it just stayed at that, because I'm not a natural flirt, I'm more reserved and laid-back. What I was happy about was that when I did talk to these guys, they were cool and receptive to me, and it made me feel like I was moving past my dating rut. And that they weren't "out of my league," or that I was just as interesting/attractive as they were, and could talk to them with ease.

I never heard back from the intern guy, but I don't care. I just liked the conversation and found him cute, and liked the encounter for what it was.

futura, how is it going with the co-worker? He sounds like a sweet cutie.
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futura
post Feb 23 2010, 02:12 PM
Post #52


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Good move Anna!
*cues what she hears her best male friend singing in this situation*
Workin' it! Wor-kin..IT!

My online dating experience is almost nil. I was on a socializing/dating site for a while, but most of the people were born in the 60's and while i have no problem with that, i find myself stepping back when it comes to dating someone from, say, 1967. It doesn't help that these people are mostly a bunch of hippies.

Maybe i'll try it on another site. We'll see.

For now, a change of social scenery would be good. I need to hang out more in that metropole that's 15 mins away.

Tattooed guy texted yesterday to apologize. He felt bad for having stood me up. He left his cell at his friend's house when he left that night.
While i appreciate that he apologized i did not feel like making nice. So i texted back, not angry but more like 'well yes, i thought it was weird not hearing from you.'

That will be it. He's prolly making up with is ex. That'll involve some drama and that's why he doesn't answer my question. He doesn't want to be direct, so he can come back when the reconciliation with ex fails. I've learned that's what happens fairly regularly. It's what people do. My 2 cents to myself anyway.

So i'll be skipping along then.

I have this McJob. Receptionist work. A kinda co-worker of mine (dunno how to call him, outsourcing and all) is always very chatty with me. Last week he touched my shoulder before he left, saying he'd go find his colleagues, that it was way too cozy where i was. We always talk when he's in, he gets me coffee.
There's no way something can develop here, but today again i got the distinct sense he likes me.

He's shorter than i am, ex-marine. His job requires he has to wear a suit. Y'know, tailor made. Looking good.


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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anna k
post Feb 22 2010, 06:21 PM
Post #53


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Today I got to interview a documentary filmmaker about her work for an interview for a film website. I really enjoyed talking to her, she was very fascinating and intriguing and just cool.

Before I could speak to her, she was being interviewed by someone else (press day for her movie), so I sat in the waiting room with her producer and an intern at the PR company I'm in contact with. I enjoyed talking to them both, about movies mostly and other stuff, and thought the intern was pretty cute and nice to talk to, and looked in close age to me. I did the interview, and afterwards, decided to give him my card, since I enjoyed talking to him. He had gotten busy with something, so I passed it on to the producer, just saying that I enjoyed talking to him. Kinda bold, and I probably won't hear back, but I wanted to take a little advantage of talking to a cute guy about common interests in movies.

It's OK on the date, futura. I just wasn't feeling it, and wouldn't go out with him again.

Yep, playing around is very good! It made me feel very light and happy, and nice to have some interaction.

Ugh, I'm sorry he was so flaky and annoying, futura. I hate it when people are like that, dragging out something and being wishy-washy. I'm happy your friend was able to give you some good tough love.
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futura
post Feb 20 2010, 07:41 AM
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Aw, that sucks Anna.

My only date planned online ws with a laidback guy, but he was too nerdy for me (he finally lit up when talking about ER and Flying Doctors trivia. Which i found amusing nonetheless AND Stefan Sagmeister is his hero. You always earn brownie points for that with me), but the physical attraction wasn't there. It was a bit awkward i must admit.

Playing around is always good!

Well, he called yesterday, and since he's been so nice to me i was like, hell, come on over, we'll see. So, an hour past the time he'd be here i got a text saying he ws still with a friend of his in another town, public transportation was rough, would it be ok if he still came over (seriously, this guy calls me things like 'honey' and 'sugarpie')? I was like, sure, i'll be up for a couple more hours. I had made it my evening, with drawing, and making good headway with something i had to do anyway. Plus i had a good phone conversation with my bff and she gave me some tough love and good insight into my issues with guys.

Oh, he didn't show up btw. I texted him i was going to sleep. That was it.


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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anna k
post Feb 19 2010, 04:23 PM
Post #55


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futura, the date was meh. The museum was a lot of fun to see, but the online chemistry did not match up in real life. I found him boring and dull, and did not have any kind of attraction, and the date lasted for 2 1/2 hours (we went out for pizza afterwards). I felt disappointed, since it seemed like we had a lot in common, and I felt like I fell into my same pattern of dating inoffensive "safe" kind of guys who were not challenging or interesting to me.

Ugh, dating. You win some, you lose some.

Last week I had fun in the kickboxing class, and got to interact with the guy a bit. We were partnered up for one thing and he showed me how to do some moves correctly and was encouraging, and gave me a little fist bump when we finished. Little, but it felt nice to play around for that moment.
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futura
post Feb 19 2010, 11:15 AM
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Anna, have you been on the date yet??

I was supposed to have a date tonight, but said guy chickened out. I got a text message saying he'd like to wath a movie with me (initial plan) but without the 'intimacy' we had last time.

I'm still waiting for a response, cos i sent him a text back asking for a reason, and that he can call me, i'm at home.

It doesn't really matter, because i suspect what's the deal; he's back with his ex.

I'm glad i wasn't horny to the max to begin with. I don't really feel like him coming over here and watching a movie with him knowing there's not even a chance of a kiss or something. I have learned to let these things pass and not bother with staying friends.

In a way i'm a bit bummed, because he was really nice. But i know we're quite incompatible, so it wasn't going anywhere besides fucking. And he didn't go down on me the last time (which was just as well, since he had a 'fever-lip'-damn you sucky translating machines!-), and that's not a good sign. But i might be wrong, because i never had anyone not go down on me, it could be a personal preference ofcourse.

Ok, on to the next!


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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Lily_Anne
post Feb 12 2010, 12:15 AM
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Anna, I hope your date goes well! I think going to a museum is such a wonderful idea that I shall steal it. This way two people can be doing something together, not have to sit the whole time, and not have to make too much eye contact or smile all the time. I like that.
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epinephrine
post Feb 10 2010, 12:47 PM
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Man, I just realized I don't even have a real crush on anyone right now. I've gotta get out more.


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anna k
post Feb 9 2010, 11:26 PM
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I'm hoping to go out soon with a guy I've been exchanging emails with this guy from OKCupid. He's very multifaceted, that he works in finance, is into museums, like video games and sci-fi, and liked my film blog writing, and said that he feels he has to Google stuff that I talk about after reading my emails, in an interested way. We're planning to meet this Saturday at a museum, and I'm just looking to see if the online chemistry will match to real-life. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I do want to meet just so not to prolong this.

futura, it sounded like you had a really awesome night! Yay for good portions! And I like that he's a cool and chill guy, from the sound of your conversation.

Lily Anne, he sounds like a cutie. Guys who are great with kids are so sweet. Not saying you wanna procreate with him, but that kind of tenderness is nice.

I still think the kickboxer guy is cute, but I don't talk to him. I said hi a couple of times in passing and smiled, and got a little smile and hi back, but nothing else. So I just assume he's indifferent to me, and I don't talk to him, it's not worth it. I still take the class though, because it's great for focus and concentration and self-defense.
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futura
post Feb 7 2010, 12:43 PM
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FILF! ofcourse! wink.gif

I kept thinking about the guy i posted about. I said i wasn't going to contact him, because the last time i hooked up with someone it was a mistake. I made a bad call and i didn't want to do that again. Sometimes you meet someone, you make out, have fun and that's that. It's about the dynamics; there's a party, there are friends, and there's a good vibe. Sometimes that's all gone by the second time i see someone.

But i couldn't get it out of my head and by the end of the week i sent him a text to ask him what his plans were for the weekend. He came over last night and we had a very good time, talking (about taxes, even. Cod, you know when you're on a certain subject for no obvious reason and you just blabber on, while you want to shake yourself to stop).

He stayed the night and there was sex. Lots of sex (see portions thread). It's been 3 1/2 months. I think we kept the neighbours up quite some time. And he's fit! If i didn't know better i'd think i hooked up with a gangbanger, with the tattoos an all.

His gf is definitely his ex now. Not that i'm looking for a relationship, but it's good to know. Quite some incompatibility, still. My BFF is reeling, she's like 'i can't believe you hook up with him!' He's not the type i would go for, normally.

I feel like 'yay for me!'


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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