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> write a letter...one you'll never send
zoya
post Jan 11 2007, 02:27 PM
Post #2601


uh huh.
***
Posts: 1,818
From: the world.


dear m -

you, my dear, are being a pussy. what is it? i know you like me. it's obvious. I like you. I'd like to get to know you better. nothing is wrong with that. Frankly, I'd like to date you. And frankly, I'd like to date you and then have insane sex all over the place with you. Cause I know it would be fun. But I digress... So anyway, I'm not certain where things dropped off, but I'm just letting you be you. I always have anyway. I did really want to go hang out on your roof, though. (and why did you say "next time you're over") I think you're confused. or just weird.

zoya
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wombat
post Jan 11 2007, 12:49 PM
Post #2602


Dragon Velocity
***
Posts: 1,044
From: Rattland


((girltrouble))

Hope your friend "rox" has someone who isn't you to identify her body at the morgue.


--------------------
Lion-hearted
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girltrouble
post Jan 11 2007, 08:59 AM
Post #2603


new highs in personal lows daily!
***
Posts: 4,307
From: wherever ink is put in skin...


((((((freespirit))))))



e:
it would have been my turn to choke on gum, if only i had been chewing some. when you told me that your "friend" was rox. i just about died. that tranny has fucked just about every young tranny chasing ass in town, and somethat were passing thru. and while i am super glad that you weren't a notch on her belt (so you say), i still get the feeling you are gigaho. you talk about way too many girls, and WTF is the deal with you calling your gf an "off again-on-again?" you have a standing saturday and valentines day dates with her. that doesn't sound like off again. really. i was thinking you were kinda cute-- which is a rarity for me. i usually don't go for the boys-- but one thing that ALWAYS gets on my nerves, is guys who downplay their relationship, or call an ex "crazy". it just sounds like you are trying to come around my way. that ain't cool, and if you keep it up, you will go from cute to str8 balls. and once you are bawls, i keep you at arms length. f'r right now your name is bawls. narly, stinky, sweaty p-bawls. and next time we talk i'ma call you on it. so cut that shit out.... balls.

gt


rox:
um, yes, i think you are low hangin' dirty balls, but can i say how much i admire your ability to screw every tranny chaser that comes in to town. i have to say, you are my idol. i love that you just tie em up, bend em over, love em and leave em. i only wish that i was interested in boys enough to do the same. fuck those assholes! lol... go ahead, mama. this ones for you, screwing them before they screw you. there needs to be more t-girls out there like you,

but you are still stinky swolen bawls.
yeah, i know, bills for the 'mones are a cute chunk of change, but do you really have to screw every artist you come across monitarily too? cut that shit out, dumb ass.

sincerely, your almost fan....
gt.


--------------------

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve
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culturehandy
post Jan 11 2007, 08:14 AM
Post #2604


(o)(o)
***
Posts: 11,350
From: Oh boobs


Dear K,

Thank you so much for being there. You have such amazing wisdom, and you have helped me see things for what they really are. You have pointed out things, and then let me figure them out for myself. You are wonderful, and I am so glad we are friends.

Me.


--------------------
Hatred does not cease in this world by hating, but by not hating; this is an eternal truth. --- Buddah, The Dhammapada
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free_spirit
post Jan 11 2007, 05:55 AM
Post #2605


BUSTie
**
Posts: 95
From: Midwest


Dear DSCE.

I hate you.

I really do despise you. No thanks for making my life harder than it has to be. This has completely attempted to ruin my day.

I had a very good and special day that was supposed to be today. It is 6:00 in the morning and I am trying so hard not to cry. I have to get up and get in the shower and get dressed to start the first day of my new life and I have all your bullshit in the back of my mind.

I am BEYOND PISSED and really disgusted at this whole process and senario.

And T***** you are such a BITCH. I wish you were p******** and had ***S.

You anger me to no end. You are so sneaky and think you are so slick. I hope you save up, because one day this is going to come back on you and I will not feel the need to try to accomodate you in any way at all. have a blast out in Kuwait. You were lucky to get out of Afghanistan in one piece. I hope they send you to I*** on convoys every other day.

I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE PISSED...ESP. WHEN THIS SITUATION IS OUT OF MY CONTROL AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO HELP MYSELF.

THIS SUCKS.

-Determined not to let *anyone* steal anymore of my joy,
Alex.

PS You fuckers,
I RISE, I RISE, I RISE. FUCK OFF
You guys really got me twisted. mad.gif


--------------------
Don't Follow Your Dreams... Chase Them.
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freckleface2727
post Jan 11 2007, 12:10 AM
Post #2606


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 937
From: east coast


powers of the universe:
thankyou for wishes granted.
me


--------------------
I am a *spark* in this world; get lit.
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freckleface2727
post Jan 9 2007, 03:47 PM
Post #2607


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 937
From: east coast


in-laws

thankyou for letting me know the mr called you today.
believe it or not that was partly MY Doing, bc I told him a few times you needed to hear his voice again, but he kept putting it off.

that you expect Me to call you every-time-he- calls (or emails) and then you don't do the same for me?

huh uh.
chica don't play that game.

screw you & the donkey you rode in on, and forget any courtesies on my end bc truthfully you don't deserve it.

disgruntled and stocking up on floor wax...
daughter-in-law

mr:
thankyou for calling.
I miss you dreadfully, and don't be mad when I am Sad; isn't it better than the alternative where I don't pine for you at all?
and yes, my line of you don't know what your absense is like here made perfectly good sense, to ME.
laugh at me.... but really, you are such an incredible dort and I love you so.

madly,
mrs

ps to Sybarite:
sweets, if I were you, I'd get your stuff once and for all and call it good.
over the years I had whittled my memory things down to just a few boxes that I didn't think was a big thing, til my parents acted much the same . sometimes, it's just easier. hugs ~


--------------------
I am a *spark* in this world; get lit.
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sybarite
post Jan 9 2007, 12:38 PM
Post #2608


it's cards on the table time
***
Posts: 1,993


Dear parent,

WTF is your hurry? Why the incessant decluttering? You have 2 big bedrooms and a shed but need to either send stuff to me or sell it, like, immediately? You can't wait a week for a decision?

Look, I'm old enough that this stuff shouldn't matter which is why I'm not bothering to talk to you about this. In the big picture I suppose it doesn't matter. But seriously, what is the rush? I wish you would try and understand what it is like for me, carting stuff around once every year or two, rinse and repeat over the last 10+ years. I chose it so it's okay, but it means I don't have a lot of sympathy for you and whatever 'clutter' you may have.

It's such a mixed message too. All wistful 'I still have your stuff'... Maybe it's better I have it back if it's such an issue.

I'm being a little unfair because I'm exasperated. Suffice it to say your life is settled, as it should be and as you've worked hard to make it so. Mine isn't yet though: again, my choice, and overall I feel very lucky. The result is less common ground than there could be, but hopefully this is temporary-ish.

I do love you. Me
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rantrave88
post Jan 8 2007, 10:32 PM
Post #2609


BUSTie
**
Posts: 96


dear life gods,
please stop messing with my family's emotions! Please don't let my parents split up or leave my sister behind or any of that nonsense! Please give my mom a fucking break! And let my dad realize that he is me except 70 plus years later and a dude. And therefore should deal with his depression accordingly, AS I DO.

dear death gods,
let my grandmothers die knowing that I loved them, with as little pain as possible. And keep my parents safe emotionally during the process.

dear sister,
please don't be scared of me. I love you so much! high school will be over soon!

dear my own life gods,
Give me a period, a healthy pap, and decent grades for last semester's booze-and-boys-fest that it was. By the way sorry for that.

dear h and d,
you two rock. Thanks for having my back and making me laugh and being super awesome in general.

dear dreams,
why are you so weird??

dear sleep schedule,
fucken sort yerself out!
I have to do actual work this semester!
I need to prepare to wake up before the sun goes down!

dear job gods,
I need money to travel to italy twice and india once. This is expensive! My life relationships are expensive! Aka give me a lame job at the thai place or the library or wherever that doesn't make me vomit and allows me spend the rest of time in studio.

dear letter thread,
I missed you!

love,
me



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freckleface2727
post Jan 8 2007, 09:27 PM
Post #2610


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 937
From: east coast


self:
rough night yes, but you know much better than to watch the national news.
it was like a train wreck.... you knew you needed to stop but just couldn't quite pull your eyes away.
and this is where it got you.
happy?
no, bc you are a mess now and even when C called you made her uncomfortable w/ your honesty over how you were feeling tonight, you who are always so Strong. carry it for them, and it makes them feel they are doing their part in this.
you'll get it together again, but work on the resentment issues w/ the mr ey, he's following his joy and you know that's an amazing thing to be privy to at all.
it's still ok to not always be strong and you Have re-claimed the bed, the oh so fluffy wonderful bed, but try to keep it to yourself better next time.
in solidarity,
me

mr:
call.
or, I don't know, don't, bc if you do, it might make me worse and I'll cry on the phone which I know you hate bc it makes you feel bad and worry about me, when I am totally o k and when you worry about me I worry more about you bc you are distracted from your job and it's my fault.
I watched the news. that is what I wrote in my journal to you tonight. that is all I really needed to say bc I know you understand everything that line means.
but I also wrestled the rebates for frecklette's new computer finally, and helped her w/ homework and did computer picture stuff ( even if you hate it please lie and tell me my new hair makes me look younger/thinner or both please) and several things you would normally be doing yourself.
and then I cried into the new denim throw pillows on the new still being broken in sofa.

I miss you honey.

call.

your mrs.


ex boyfriend/gold's gym

thankyou for being such a horrendous abusive jerk all those years ago, bc it lead me to where I am today, in the life I was meant to be living.
but going through the doors to the gym today I totally could have done w/out the icky flashbacks to having sex w/ the ex, I realise now he Smelled of the gym!
== thinking I need a clean air machine hooked up to purify my lungs ==

better, smarter and happier


--------------------
I am a *spark* in this world; get lit.
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gomersalgirl
post Jan 8 2007, 08:12 PM
Post #2611


BUSTie
**
Posts: 52
From: new england


Culturehandy, GREAT letter. I'm not entirely sure what you're going through...but it sounds VERY familiar. It was inspiring to me and I thank you. It sounds like you're going to be just fine!!
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culturehandy
post Jan 8 2007, 07:21 PM
Post #2612


(o)(o)
***
Posts: 11,350
From: Oh boobs


Dear Self,

I know you are scared of becoming involved with someone again. After him, it is hard to trust again. It is hard to give yourself to someone. It is time for you to let go of the current play thing, s, it is not a good thing for you to be in such a position. I know it is hard, I know that you care about him, slightly, but you know just as well as I do, that it is a bad idea. Granted it has been 7 and a half months, but you know that you absolutely aren't ready. The time is not right. You are happy, with little lulls of sadness, but are you honestly prepared to deal with someone else right now? Can you deal with someone else's shit? you cannot. You deserve better than him. Granted he is a nice guy, but, what the hell are you thinking? What is wrong in your brain? Why on earth would you ever EVER do that? Oh dear. I can't believe I liked him!?!? To hell with relationships and with men, why is it important, just realize that you and S, not cool, not working and ain't gonna happen. Mourn it, feel jealous, but, girl let it go, and when things are meant to happen they will. Don't you worry one bit about that, you didn't before, and you won't now. Feel good about yourself! Rememer that if someone wants to be with you, he has to work for it, make it hard for him. If he really wants to be with you, make him work HARD! Remember what D told you, remember? He's right. Remember that no one loves you, but you. You are wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, giving. You are you, never ever sell yourself short. Never settle for less. Give yourself all that you are entitled to, and that, girl, is everything.

Love,

your sassy, sexy little self and your brain, your best feature of all.


Dear C's friends weed,

Fuck, this shit is mother fucking crazy! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, you rock!

Me.


--------------------
Hatred does not cease in this world by hating, but by not hating; this is an eternal truth. --- Buddah, The Dhammapada
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zoya
post Jan 8 2007, 10:04 AM
Post #2613


uh huh.
***
Posts: 1,818
From: the world.


dear antidepressants -

how the HELL, after I've been on you for 6 months, are you causing a reaction? it's really bumming me out, not least of all because I'm really scared I'm going to go back to that self-defeating place in my head and the pit of my stomach that you have helped remove. No, I don't want to go on a different brand of you. I've done loads of research and you were the only one I was willing to take. Its crazy, you've been out of my system for about 4 days now and I can't tell if the places my head is going are real, or just a product of my fear of going there. I guess that's that old key word - fear. I've been on you long enough to know that fear is just fear. That good old acronym - False Evidence Appearing Real. In my case, that is true. I know I can just walk through that, knowing now that it's not real. But you, my little antidepressant friends, make it so that I don't have to do the mind over matter thing. You make it so there is no question. It makes everything so much easier. I honestly just don't get why you're causing a reaction now. It's nuts.

stop it.
zoya
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doodlebug
post Jan 8 2007, 12:33 AM
Post #2614


I know it's only rock 'n' roll. But I like it.
***
Posts: 7,808
From: a riverbank in BC, Canada


Dear World We Live In,

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

You suck.

me


Dear Brain,

Well, thank goddess you finally snapped back into place for this one last little hurrah.

Finish this report by Tuesday night. Or else.

me


Dear Anyone it Matters To,

I'm sorry this report will not turn out to be what was originally envisioned. But you know, I realized something really important today. This report, my dear Anyone Who Cares, will be my last and final "fuck you" to the bastard government that is pushing women and their families deeper into poverty. And I need to write it like that. Not necessarily with the "fuck you" parts. But there's gonna be some naming.

And the truth is, no one - probably not even Any One of You To Whom It Matters - will notice the difference between that and the report I was "supposed" to write, anyway.

me


--------------------
Check out my band's new demo online! You can DL my original....and please fan up if ya like it!
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ohmaude
post Jan 7 2007, 09:25 PM
Post #2615


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 133


Dear Fella,

What you did still sucks and fucked up my ability to function in many ways when I needed to function the most. The stupid thing was that it was all so unnecessary. That will never change. So, while we take this time off, you to think, me to study... I want you to think about how very, very lucky you are that my beautiful awesome self is so benevolent and forgiving and I am even considering giving you some of my precious time in the near future. Seriously, ponder it.

Lovingly,

Me

p.s. My brother still wants to kick your ass.


Dear Self,

FOCUS! ON EXAM! NOW!

your biggest fan,

Ohmaude

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zoya
post Jan 7 2007, 08:18 PM
Post #2616


uh huh.
***
Posts: 1,818
From: the world.


dear m -

come on baby... you can do it!

come to mama,
zoya
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rantrave88
post Jan 7 2007, 02:49 PM
Post #2617


BUSTie
**
Posts: 96


dear hotmail and microsoft in general,
you FUCKING BLOW.
The only reason i made a stupid ass account was so i could talk to the boy on msn. And guess what? Your stupid password protection doesn't stop spam! And your thirty day limit for not checking email is BULLCRAP. I hope you swallow a dick and die. and when global warming kills us all, I hope bill gates gets eaten by diseased animals!

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zoya
post Jan 7 2007, 12:47 AM
Post #2618


uh huh.
***
Posts: 1,818
From: the world.


dear m -

i like you. and just so you know, you scored bonus points when you came and walked me over. keep it up. like i told, you - the world we live in is very fast, and i'm not in any hurry. I'm not going anywhere.

ok?
yep.
zoya
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starpiste
post Jan 7 2007, 12:25 AM
Post #2619


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 142
From: Vancouver, BC


dear filmmaker's employers,
Please let him off work early, or at least on time. I really really really want to have sex with him and this waiting is making me crazy.
S.
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the_lorax
post Jan 7 2007, 12:24 AM
Post #2620


Newbie
*
Posts: 9


Dear you,

We had this amazing kiss. It was electric and satisfying and made me wonder what you were like in bed. Would you explore every part of my body, like you explored my mouth and my soul that night at 3 in the morning. You offered me a ride home, and maybe i should have taken it, but I didn't trust myself to say no, so I declined. But you asked for my number. Doesn't that imply a call?
So I waited and eventually you texted me.... a text? really? But ok fine. I'll let that go, I texted you back, but I guess my response was too eager and prompt. I'm not used to these 30 year old games. I keep having the feeling that I'm in way over my head. 11 years difference didn't bother me when it was you we were talking about, but I don't know the rules, this waiting game you are playing.
So, texting over Xmas, far and few between. We're both busy; I get that. No biggie.
But then you call. And you do want to see me. And stupid stupid me, I get all flustered talking to you and sound like a ditz. But we have this 'date', this wonderful picnic idea and I'm was so excited. I really don't connect with people like this often. Not just the kiss, but the conversations. I say smart things around you, at least in person. Maybe it was the happy pills, who knows.
Then you call me tonight and cancel. More work, you say. I'll let that go too. When can I see you again, I say. What? you're going to thailand, eh? You'll get in touch with me when... February?! February! Right. Well ok, how about Never.
I'm am so tired. I had given up men, until you distacted me with your smell, taste, lips... But I don't have the energy to wonder anymore if you'll call. I don't have enough room in my life to give you time, only to be cancelled on.
But really, it's you that's missing out. I'm awesome. I may be young in years, but my soul is aged and this could have been beautiful. Maybe I'll see you at the next event, but by then I won't care.

Regretfully,
Me
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