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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
angie_21
post Jan 17 2010, 09:08 PM
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Nbdx, my mom had reconstructive surgery so I do feel the need to say why she made the decision to get reconstruction... She had some benign cell growth that the doc just wasn't comfortable with, a biopsy supposedly indicated they should do a masectomy just in case though it wasn't conclusive, and then after the surgery, when they analysed what they removed they discovered it hadn't been necessary. Honestly I would have sued, doctors are just too easer to over-treat and push people through the system instead of doing it right the first time.

It was a really, really difficult decision for her and reconstruction is extremely painful because unlike regular implants, there is already scar tissue in the skin and there is also absolutely no breast tissue to stuff the implant into. I guess it's conceivable that further growth could happen behind the implant, especially with a partial masectomy, but I mean, with a full masectomy all the breast tissie is just gone so I don't know where more cancer cells could pop up from. For her it had much less to do with being beautiful because she had no intention of going through that kind of pain for vanity, but it was lifestyle. She had horrible trouble buying bras, wearing a sponge to go swimming, her clothes didn't fit right, and she didn't feel right.
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discowombat
post Jan 16 2010, 09:03 PM
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I'm not sure how I feel about reconstruction either. I can understand why people would want it if they had average to large breasts to begin with and could also understand why those with smaller chests might see it as their chance to have what they didn't have before (depending on their point of view regarding their physical composition). I do have to say that I have massive amounts of respect for women who choose not to undergo reconstructive surgery and get a beautiful chest tattoo instead. http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-conten...45marciapam.jpg I think it shows strength.




QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Jan 16 2010, 12:36 AM) *
It's hard to say how I feel about implants calmly. It's also hard for me to say that other women's implants don't cause me emotional pain, because my mom's did. Implants homogenize the female form into something that lacks reality. Also, it's a big health risk. My mom was talking to me about getting her implants removed because they can't perform an accurate scan on her heart. Logic says it isn't worth it. I'm still a bit bitter when others say that it's okay for reconstruction surgery, because regrowth can hide behind the implant, making the abnormals cells impossible to detect. Staying beautiful is more important than being safe, but this is nothing new...right? Perhaps my judgment is clouded because I don't have much to lose. It's not like I'm ever going to win "tits of the year" and implants aren't going to change that, either.

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nbdx0645
post Jan 15 2010, 11:36 PM
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It's hard to say how I feel about implants calmly. It's also hard for me to say that other women's implants don't cause me emotional pain, because my mom's did. Implants homogenize the female form into something that lacks reality. Also, it's a big health risk. My mom was talking to me about getting her implants removed because they can't perform an accurate scan on her heart. Logic says it isn't worth it. I'm still a bit bitter when others say that it's okay for reconstruction surgery, because regrowth can hide behind the implant, making the abnormals cells impossible to detect. Staying beautiful is more important than being safe, but this is nothing new...right? Perhaps my judgment is clouded because I don't have much to lose. It's not like I'm ever going to win "tits of the year" and implants aren't going to change that, either.
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Aithinne
post Jan 15 2010, 09:45 PM
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Cross-dressing is fun, though I don't think I've necessarily cross-dressed, per se. I live out in the country, and when the weather gets cold and the snow starts piling up, I wear some coveralls and a rabbit fur hat. I look insanely rediculous, but I love it simply because it looks rediculous. But, it's warm as hell and if I were stranded somewhere, that's what I'd rather be wearing. I guess it's just fun saying to hell with it, I'm going to dress how I want! It is very liberating, and always a conversation starter.

I also LOVE putting on guy's clothes, but I think it's just because it makes me laugh to see how small I am in their clothes. When I was little, I didn't try on my mom's clothes, I tried on my dad's clothes. I could fit my whole body in one of his pant legs, and his shoes were about twice as big as my feet, and his shirts went down below my knees. It made for a funny outfit, that's for sure.

On another fun note, my FWB was working after me a few days ago, so I left a note in the cash drawer saying that I was somewhere on the first floor and to come find me. Lol. Well, he found me alright (and didn't even bother counting the drawer first! Lol) and we had fun. He fucked my mouth while fingering me. Ah, yum. Maybe I should start posting in the portions thread, now that I'm finally getting some.
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angie_21
post Jan 14 2010, 11:01 PM
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strongirl, I do have strong feelings about implants, I think, but I usually ignore them. I feel it's none of my business since it has nothing to do with me and doesn't really affect me. I know girls do it for a variety of reasons, and I know some of those reasons are not good, and I wouldn't like it if my friends had them done. I think of them like iphones and expensive cars - I'd never get one, I guess they make some people feel good about themselves bu it won't satisy their souls, I think it's a waste of money. If anyone's interested in a male pespective, my boyfriend says he wouldn't dump me if I ever got implants, because he loves me and it's my body, but he would be very sad and very disappointed and would try his best to convince me not to. he thinks it would be a lot of damage done to a perfectly good body and doesn't understand why someone would want to take nice tits and make them ugly.

In terms of cross-dressing, I think I mentioned many many months ago that I am most comfortable in my workboots and cargoes. I wear feminine work clothes, but they certainly aren't sexy and I feel 100% like a HUMAN, not a woman, when I'm dressed in my work clothes and doing fieldwork. it's very liberating and I'd do it most of my life if I could. It also makes me so happy to get into real feminine clothes at the end of a project, that I just don't give a rat's ass what I look like.
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anna k
post Jan 13 2010, 11:32 PM
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Aithinne, I agree with buttercups, you are not the "little girl" you believed yourself to be. You are a real woman, with incredible magnetism and flirtiness to boot.

I don't have much opinion on breast implants, just the big ones that stretch the skin look like they hurt.

strongirl, you probably had an androgynous thing going that made you look very attractive and interesting. If I had small breasts, I'd like to work that kind of look. Sometimes I dress down too to feel more hidden in my clothes, not wanting to look noticeable. Like in the street, I would wear baggy slacks, a big coat that covers my body, a hoodie, and just stuff that makes me look more like a scrappy young kid than a mature young woman. Other times, I like to play up my femininity in leggings and fitted shirts, but can feel just as comfortable in shapeless, big clothing whenever I just want to blend in.

buttercups, dancing gives me a sensual and happy feeling, it's a complete mind/body experience, and the next day I can still feel the routine in my body, like muscle memory.
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discowombat
post Jan 13 2010, 11:13 PM
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Thanks for the belly dancing advice ladies! Looks like I'm stuck with videos for now though. The only teacher within an hour drive of me moved to the city. Guess they don't get much business out here in the boondocks blink.gif Anyways I'm going to make my best effort to stick with it!
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buttercups
post Jan 13 2010, 08:08 PM
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How come you can't watch TV these days without boobs being the topic of conversation in every single episode, I'm done watching TV. It was how I relaxed at the end of a hard day, but lately it just pisses me off more and more. Grr.

Spot-on, I second that amen! (But I hope everything works out ok for you and the hubby-they all act like idiots at some point, I think it's just inevitable...)
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spot-on
post Jan 13 2010, 07:45 PM
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I had a post written out then deleted it

Just wanted to vent that sometimes men can be absolute idiots! Especially annoying when it ends up being the one you married!
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hcbeck
post Jan 13 2010, 12:36 PM
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QUOTE(strongirl @ Jan 13 2010, 04:27 PM) *
I have some trouble sorting out my feelings about implants.

How do you guys feel when you see them?


The only positive thing I can say about implants is that they primarily look best when they are clothed. I have to avoid thinking of what the breasts might look like naked, their unnaturalness is usually not to my taste.

i.e. breasts that look a lot better clothed. That description might also apply to some natural breasts, as well as other body parts on both genders.

Implants sometimes prompt me into being judgmental. If I fall into thinking that implants come from a position of insecurity, I remind myself that I spend time in the gym trying to look better, my way of getting that self-confidence.

(Whereas I think some tattoos are used as a way of freezing time...)
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Aithinne
post Jan 13 2010, 12:21 PM
Post #1451


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When I look at implants, I just feel sad that the woman felt she needed them, or even that she wanted them. I think that's just because I don't think of implants like I do, say, a tattoo. To me, tattoos are more often gotten as decoration, but not because the person feels insecure without a tattoo. But I really cannot believe that women who get implants get them for decoration. That might be a side effect, but I think women who get implants get them because of some kind of insecurity, because they feel like just being themselves is not good enough, that making their boobs bigger will make people like them more, make men want them, help them get the attention they crave. So I think things like tattoos and breast implants have completely different core motivations. It makes me sad that the woman feels her natural body is insufficient, and it makes me sad to add that woman to a long list of women giving in to a culture of 'perfection'. On the other hand, I can understand why women get them after they lose a breast to cancer, but unless they tell you that that was the reason they got implants, you won't know.
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strongirl
post Jan 13 2010, 11:27 AM
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Since it's been relatively quiet in here lately, I think I'll toss something out that bothers me from time to time and see if any of you relate or have perspectives that might help me.

I have some trouble sorting out my feelings about implants. Not about getting them, heaven forbid, but how I feel about other womens' implants. Like that recent post from issy (sp?), I want to reach a place where I like every breast I see, no exceptions. But honestly, I have a pretty negative reaction to most implants - I have feelings of revulsion over the scars, capsular contraction, visible implants under the skin, hard texture, and how painful the really large ones look. At the same time, I feel guilty about those reactions. I actually feel ungrateful and mean! Those women got implants to be visually pleasing and attractive, they went through a lot of pain, risk, and expense, and the least the rest of us can do is be appreciative and enjoy them! But I usually don't. Occasionally I get turned on by them, I get aroused by the idea of a woman being willing to promote her sexuality in such an extreme way or something like that, and once in a while I see implants that I find visually appealing. But much more often I have those feelings of revulsion, followed by guilt at being unappreciative, add in a fear that it would seem like "sour grapes" or jealousy if I voice my dislike of them, and the end result is this uncomfortable feeling of unresolved "icky-ness".

I really dislike it when women criticize other women over appearance, regardless of what feature is being criticized for what quality. So I don't think things like "women who get implants are shallow and competitive", or anything else over-reaching and dismissive is in order here. And my feelings are a separate issue from wondering why some men like them - that's their deal, not mine. I am approaching this as a bi-sexual woman, who likes her own body, has spent a lot of time in clothes-optional settings, and enjoys porn. But when I encounter women with implants (in life or on film), I have to wrestle with the feelings above.

Any insight, corroboration, criticism? Anything I'm missing that I should incorporate into my mental monologue/process? How do you guys feel when you see them?

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crinoline
post Jan 12 2010, 04:54 PM
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Hi ladies! Long time no see huh?
I'm amazed at the positive progress everyone's made in here!! We rock!

discowombat- I highly recommend bellydance for exactly that reason - it is a dance form that celebrates femininity of a natural kind. I was also worried before my first class if I would be the only flat chested petite girl, but once I got there it didn't matter. There were woman of every shape and size (seriously-we ranged from sizes 2 to 22!) and they were all beautiful. After the second week I even stopped wearing a bra and just wore a camisole, and i wasn't the only one! I definitely developed more sexual and just general confidence from my years of bellydance. it was not only great exercise, but a great life experience.
Also, our instructor and several of the girls were Muslim, and so there were some strict no-boys-allowed type rules, everything was focused on us and not "sexy" moves to please your man. It was awesome!


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strongirl
post Jan 11 2010, 09:15 PM
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Ditto, Aithinne, even if nothing else happens with this guy, that's some top shelf fantasy material for future reference...your future AND mine, LOL!

Buttercups, when I read what you posted about that show Real World, I couldn't help but immediately flip it - a bunch of girls go out and say "Yeah, girls, no guys under 8 inches tonight!" Blech. How totally dehumanizing (and erotic buzz kill) no matter which standpoint you view it from.

A funny thought I've had a couple of times when reading some of the posts about not feeling like a "real woman" without big curves - when I was in my twenties I went through a phase where I cross-dressed a lot, esp. for work. I would wear pants, button down shirts with ties, jackets, and flat oxford shoes. I also had really short, buzzed punk hair at the time (now my hair is down past my shoulder blades, LOL). Rather than feeling inferior for being "unfeminine" I felt empowered, like I was expressing myself and giving the finger to sex-role stereotypes and pressure to conform to someone else's idea of what I should look like. Oddly enough, I still got hit on! I don't know if it would be fun or helpful to any of you to try cross-dressing - sort of a "reverse psychology" thing? - but I enjoyed it. Just throwin' it out there in case anyone finds it useful.

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buttercups
post Jan 11 2010, 07:40 PM
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First of all, WOW Aithinne, you are one hot, sexy thang! Damn! Excuse me while I live vicariously through your hot encounters, you are definitely not the "little girl" that you seem to think yourself to be, you are one wild and sexy woman, I love it!

Yea.. I do need to get over this issue with my ex and regretting letting him see me naked and all that crap. Anna K, your comfort in your own skin and your dancing and all the wonderful things that you do are very inspiring, I want to take some of that stuff up, it sounds like so much fun (and a great confidence boost!).

Thanks Spot-on, variety is the spice of life! And Angie21, you're right our guys should never get bored of seeing us naked, I don't know why I think that he will it sounds dumb when I say it out loud haha.

Wow nbdx0645, I'm always amazed at how much the things you say sound just like the things in my head. Especially this part: "I was punishing myself, even though, I am a fully-functioning female." I've struggled with the exact same things and ideas. For whatever reason, I practically convinced myself that I am not truly female- I convinced myself in my own messed up head that I was born transgendered or something bc I have small breasts and a larger clit, even though I've always menstruated regularly and everything else. I even asked my mother about it, who said I was born all female, and I still couldn't believe it, thinking she was sparing my feelings or something. I just never felt like a real woman, and I realize that like you, I wasn't allowing myself to feel like one, so I'm trying to convince myself now that I am 100% woman, small breasts, big clit, and all!

Thanks hcbeck, it's nice to have another perspective!

Discowombat, good for you! Go out and celebrate your femininity! Ive never done anything like that, but I have been exercising a lot more lately and running and do feel alot better about myself bc of it!

2 little side stories that made me think of you guys, one's good and one's bad. The bad one first, cause I'd rather end on a good note! I was watching The Real World on Mtv the other night and the guys on the show were having a guy's night out, and they were like "no A cups allowed tonight boys!"- ugh I hate crap like that! I'm trying to get away from that kind of negativity, but it def made me feel bad in a stupid way.

The other one is that if anyone's seen the new VS swimsuit catalogue, there a quite a few girls in there right now with very small breasts, like AA cups, modeling swimsuits! They look hot and it made me feel really good. Maybe they're finally getting it that women are their consumers and we don't like to be forced to stare at giant plastic melons shoved in our face while we're trying to shop. Maybe the tides are starting to turn in our favor....


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discowombat
post Jan 11 2010, 12:32 AM
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Hi everyone! I read almost daily but don't usually say much. First, I just want to say all of you have done a lot to let me know I'm not alone in my body issues and to help me appreciate myself exactly the way I am made! I have my good days and my bad days but I'm proud to say that in these past few years the good days are far outnumbering the bad.

Anyways, I have been thinking of doing belly dancing not only as exercise (I don't get off my bum much) but also as a celebration of my femininity. I feel like I'm often viewed as a child due to my petite & thin build and I'm hoping this will continue to help me build confidence in myself. I have a dvd I've started but am thinking of trying classes. Has anyone else here done this? Was it a good experience? Did you feel self conscious being in class with other women?
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chicaloca
post Jan 9 2010, 12:47 PM
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Wow, Aithinne, that sounds really hot and sexy! Yay!! Sounds like so much fun, who hasn't fantasized about having "fun" in the workplace? So naughty, keep enjoying it, that's great!


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Aithinne
post Jan 7 2010, 09:46 PM
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QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Jan 7 2010, 03:55 PM) *
I've been doing some reflecting on this forum lately, and I've noticed that my issues are less about my breasts and more about how I perceive myself, and how I think others perceive me. I've been relying on my breasts to communicate my femininity, sexuality, and personality....when really, that is only one way to communicate your concept of 'self.' Large breasts can act like a megaphone to communicate femininity, so it they were very desirable to me. Also, most of my communicating was in the form of apology. ("I'm sorry I look like this, you must be upset...") My body language was hunching over, tugging at clothing, and shying away from physical interaction. No wonder I didn't feel feminine, I wasn't allowing myself to feel like a woman. I was punishing myself, even though, I am a fully-functioning female.

This is very insightful, nbdx. You have it exactly right, I think. My issues were also about how I perceived myself and how I thought others perceived me. But I think now all I'm struggling with is how others, or at least those people who I would like to see me in a certain way, perceive me. I want to be seen as a sexy adult female, and have been rebelling in my own way against my immature, cute, unwomanly stereotype based on a look I have no control over. It's frustrating at the very least, maddening at the most.

I'm coming to grips that surely, some guy out there will be able to see past the outer shell on first glance to the real me, without me feeling like I have to act outrageously to try to put the idea in his head that I'm not a prude/pedofile-fodder. I think these issues we women of this board seem to deal with are ones that we are frustrated with because we can't change them.. Unless we go to a surgeon and get plastic shoved in our chests, or in my case, unless we somehow can replace our faces with sexy ones. It makes us completely crazy because the boobs, the adolescent-look, are not like deciding to put on a different outfit for the day. The only thing we can do, if we do not want to resort to unnatural and drastic measures, is to change how we feel about them. In a way, I do think changing our outlook on our problems is much more powerful anyway, and yields more rewarding results. It's just damn hard to do, but worth it in the end. You are right, nbdx- we punish ourselves needlessly. We need to realize that we need to be our own advocates and stop punishing ourselves for something that needs no punishment in the first place.

hcbeck, I'm glad that even men can get something positive from this group. I think of this site as a pillar of positive, when our lives feel so steeped in negatives.

On a happier, less serious note, I have more news about my hot friend. Tuesday night, I was hanging out at work after my shift (he works the night shift there) and doing our general verbal seduction, which has been going on for several months. I asked him what he would do if I went into the back and had some solo fun right then and there, while he was in the next room... tee hee, so naughty. He seemed disbelieving that I would do such a thing, so I told him that I would only do it if he wasn't in the same room. I did, however, say it was okay for him to be in the next room with the door open and listen. So that's what I did. I've never done that at work before, and I've never done that with someone practically there with me, and it was pretty damn hot. After I went back to the room he was in, I sat in his lap and we had a fun heavy petting session. He had told me earlier that his New Year's resolution was to be more on time to things, since he usually came into work about 15 minutes late all the time. I told him that I would have solo fun in the back at 9:30 on Thursday (today), and if he was on time, he could listen. But if he was late, he would miss out.. Teehee. This is turning out to be a whole lot of fun.
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hcbeck
post Jan 7 2010, 06:51 PM
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bc...

Speaking from the male point of view, I've been very scared of baring myself for the first time with a new girlfriend. I felt like rehearsing apologies for the body (mine) that she had ended up being naked with. None were needed.

Even though it is very hard to make that leap, you'll be amazed at how being naked with your love will make you feel.

P.S. Pardon my interruption: I'm teetotal, so I don't have alcohol to help me get past my body-shyness, so the posts from this group have been especially valuable to me.
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nbdx0645
post Jan 7 2010, 05:55 PM
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I agree with Spot-On. I dated a guy who made a big fuss about my small breasts (and made a big fuss when he was dating a girl with large breasts) and he was one of the most sexually fucked-up guys on the planet. I've found that the guys who love all versions of the female body are also the most sexually advanced, more understanding about feminine issues, and will allow you to age beautifully. :3

I've been doing some reflecting on this forum lately, and I've noticed that my issues are less about my breasts and more about how I perceive myself, and how I think others perceive me. I've been relying on my breasts to communicate my femininity, sexuality, and personality....when really, that is only one way to communicate your concept of 'self.' Large breasts can act like a megaphone to communicate femininity, so it they were very desirable to me. Also, most of my communicating was in the form of apology. ("I'm sorry I look like this, you must be upset...") My body language was hunching over, tugging at clothing, and shying away from physical interaction. No wonder I didn't feel feminine, I wasn't allowing myself to feel like a woman. I was punishing myself, even though, I am a fully-functioning female.

I like how we're trying to approach this topic from a holistic viewpoint -- from outward appearance, to physical stereotypes, to sexuality and anatomy, and our relationships with others. Let's continue this support in 2010 and beyond, for all of boob-kind. Thanks so much for all your help. I read my old posts and cringe at them a bit. tongue.gif I don't think I'm out of the woods yet, but progress has been made.
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