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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
karategrrl
post May 13 2008, 11:42 AM
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QUOTE(anaisnin @ May 13 2008, 05:22 PM) *
i have to say though..i've had to go dress shopping lately and a lot of the cuts of dresses (empire) i feel like are made for women to show off boobage and then completely cover the lower part of her body. if i wore one of those out i'd look like a total stick. it's depressing.


I'm personally not a big fan of the the empire-waist/babydoll trend. It's breast-flattering but makes even a stick like me look preggers. Since I sew, I've actually bought a couple and then took in all the gathers that made them look all puffy.
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anaisnin
post May 13 2008, 11:05 AM
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i have to say though..i've had to go dress shopping lately and a lot of the cuts of dresses (empire) i feel like are made for women to show off boobage and then completely cover the lower part of her body. if i wore one of those out i'd look like a total stick. it's depressing.
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Vendetta
post May 13 2008, 11:04 AM
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I'm probably defending myself from myself, and I've thought about it so it's funny you've mentioned it. I hate to think of myself as shallow cause I know I'm not and hate to be put in the same bag as the standard implanted woman. I think that, as it is about everything, there are two sides of the story: the wrong reasons for getting implants and the right reasons. I've seen implanted full B cups and they look adorably natural, just the size I need to be the full grown, mature, powerful and extremely sexual woman I feel within. It's a lot of money and some risks, but we all take risks in life and we only live once and some people are gonna notice the difference and a lot of them will judge me wrong. But the people I care about and care for me, will understand my point of view.
I just had suffered so much in life and I'm only 24 years old, if there's anything that can be done to make me a happier person, I will do it. I know myself in therapists and I know myself in anti-depressants, I know myself living each day at a time and I know what I've achieved in life. It's time for me to be happy without any buts.
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anaisnin
post May 13 2008, 10:56 AM
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nice, i'm going to the mall today so i'll check out some of those that you guys have listed..i'm definitely in this maidenform rut, lol. they have a victorias secret, urban outfitters, etc. the target idea is good too. i work nextdoor to a target so i'm always wandering in there on my break looking for random crap to buy, haha. i'm still scared to buy something online b/c i'm soooo picky.

i know mainstream society is different in the us, but i have to say that the guys i've known (i don't think they were lying!!) have said they were not boob men. that they were more into boobs boobs when they were 13. then it all became about legs and butt. whenever i feel insecure i just pretend i'm a rich flatchested model who can lilt around around in little dresses and not give a damn.. it sounds silly, but little images like that i think have kept my self esteem regarding my boobs from going to s***. i'm also worried b/c my mom was one of those people who growing up (when it was the best age to have big boobs), was completely flat and then as soon as she was in her late thirties, her boobs grew, and then by fourty she was a DD!

anyways, if you have boobs that are a good shape and pretty nipples, then chin up!!
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dj-bizmonkey
post May 13 2008, 08:49 AM
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QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ Mar 20 2008, 02:10 PM) *
here are some of my favorite websites, though admittedly some are expensive. i checked each of them for you, gogosgirl and they all carry multiple styles in a 38A. i've actually found that ordering online, even from hanes, or victoria's secret, it's alot easier to find the right size (if you've been fitted and you know what you are). i guess that's because they have a whole warehouse and not just a storeroom. vendetta, you might like some of these sites too:

http://www.knowknockers.co.uk/

http://www.aronsales.com/storefrontprofile...aspx?sfid=48267 this website has tons to choose from and they are very reasonably priced ($9.99 and up)

http://www.lulalu.com/

i hope that helps! there is also barenecessities.com, but they are sometimes hit or miss. good luck, hope you post in here again!


here ya go anaisin.

i am with you on not liking padding, however. victoria secret of all places was carrying an italian brand called 'intimissi' or something like that. they have these chic, unlined silky bras that can be converted to be halter bras as well. i absolutely love them and they were only ~$15. i bought four bras from the aronsales.com site, but they were slightly padded. shopping at VS online you can search for unlined bras and they have a few good choices. in the past, calvin klein and banana republic had great soft cotton bras with underwire. that has always been my preference. i want a little lift and shape, otherwise, my breasts just disappear! good luck and welcome!

vendetta- living in this modern world and being a liberated woman is all aboutchoice and the freedom to make the right choices for ourselves unencumbered. we have all echoed your desire to be bigger. karategrrl and i have both said that if there was a natural, easy way to make our boobs grow, we would do it. i find surgery scary, i don't like the end the result or the 10 year maintenance. but if it weren't so scary, so fake looking or so expensive, i might opt for it. i guess i worry because your posts sound very defensive and i wonder who you are trying to rationalize your choice to-- us or yourself? if you think surgery is your best option and it will truly improve your quality of life, then i have no right to stand in your way. i'm sorry if we made you feel guilty for wanting to go through with it.....that being said, the cons still outweigh the pros for me personally. i empathize with alot of what you are saying because, deep down, i feel the same way too. i feel less than. i feel less of a woman. i am left wanting more and feeling incomplete.

the harsh reality is that breasts are a symbol of feminity and female sexuality, regardless of whether they are the object of fetishism or simply utilitarian baby feeders. they are still a signal that a woman is sexually viable. however, as i've said before, i think we need to get to the root of the problem, which is that people, especially in the west, have constructed a very narrow paradigm in which to be a woman. there is only one way to be 'feminine' and 'sexy' in mainstream society. we need to expand that paradigm and carve out space for different kinds of femininity. i liken it our mainstream view of sex, which is vastly heteronormative. we assume that sex means penetration of a vagina by a penis. we view sex in this very narrow corridor. that is changing, as is our dichotomous view of gender. i think that the feminine ideal can be expanded in the same way.

(((busties)))


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karategrrl
post May 13 2008, 08:39 AM
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Hey, ladies,

Some interesting articles:


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23924535/

http://www.glamour.com/health/implants/subindex

http://www.glamour.com/sexmen/articles/200...s?currentPage=1


I don't endorse or oppose any particular thing said in them, I just thought it was interesting and informative reading and thought I'd share.
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Vendetta
post May 13 2008, 07:58 AM
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Exactly lol I've got the same question: D cup to A cup? I was an A cup for 5 months, due to contraceptive pill, but they shrunk again. The best 5 months of my sex life!
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karategrrl
post May 13 2008, 07:12 AM
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Hey, anaisnin, welcome!!!!!

About bras, you may try searching old posts for some recommendations, as many of us have recommended bras to each other in the past. Where you are located is good to know, since stores vary.

I'm in the U.S. Personally, I have not had luck with anything bought online (including a recent order from aronsales.com). What works for me--and are exactly what you describe--are "teen" girls' bras from Target: underwire, with a BIT of padding for shape and no nipple show-through. They come in black, white, beige and pink, and usually some cute prints, and also strapless or convertible-strap versions. The down side is, they are kind of plain--no lace, no embellishments. The upside is, they are CHEAP!--under 10 dollars apiece. I like them for work under knit tops--good everyday staples. since you describe yourself as small, I bet this kind of bra might fit you well.

I used to LUUUV "Olga Petites" but they discontinued the line--that was about 12 years ago, BUT I did a little research and found that Olga may have started the line up again. Those bras were beautiful--lace and racy colors and all--and just our size. I usually don't shop in dept. stores, but I think I am going to drop in my nearest Kohl's or Macy's and check out the bras soon and see what the latest developments are. I think Kohl's sells the Olga brand.

Others on this site have had luck in Urban Outfitters and www.figleaves.com, and some other sites. You can check our old posts.

WELCOME!!!!! Hugs to you and your beautiful petite boobies!

Honeybunch, just curious--how on Earth were you once a D cup and now (I assume) an A? Oral contraceptives?

PS: I take it you are an Anais Nin fan? One of my fave quotes of all time is from Anais Nin: "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are."
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anaisnin
post May 13 2008, 12:00 AM
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hi everyone, im a lurker but new poster.. wink.gif

i'm a small breasted girl myself..a cup, but the rest of me is small.

i was wondering if anyone had bra recs for a cups? i'm opposed to getting flatout PADDING in bras, i feel like it makes my boobs look really odd+false advertising. however, i like slightly "thicker" bras with underwire.. what brands do you girls prefer?

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karategrrl
post May 12 2008, 01:34 PM
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Okay, I tried.

Vendetta, sounds like you have thought through the implant option very seriously. Get them.

(Just to clarify, I'm being straightforward, not bitchy--emotion doesn't come across well in typing.)
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honeybunch
post May 12 2008, 07:59 AM
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Vendetta, here's a (((HUG)))

I also feel like my body doesn't match my personality. I feel very sexual, but I don't feel like my breasts represent that. I don't want to be big breasted, I just wanted to have enough for some kind of cleavage. I'd be happy with a full B or C cup. I was a D cup once, and that was too much for me.

ETA: Not to mention it's VERY tricky trying to where some sexy tops with small breasts. My breasts don't sag at all, and I'd be too afraid of a mishap.

I still think there would be male-female differences. There's still going to be a difference in shape. And there are plenty of other differences between men and women besides breasts.
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Vendetta
post May 12 2008, 07:13 AM
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honestly think if we lived in a world where small breasts were perceived as more "womanly," "sexy," etc. than large breasts, for example, lots more women would be having reduction surgery than implant surgery.

I have nothing against small breast, in fact I do prefer smaller to bigger but if bras, and cleavage and tops and bikinis are womanly stuff, why would anyone in a parallell world want to reduce their breasts to an AA cup size like mine so that they couldn't wear any of those? Women have breasts, so I can't suppose what it would be if we didn't. Where would the man-woman difference be? I really could forget about the bras and stuff and wear t-shirts all the time, but why would I want that?
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Vendetta
post May 12 2008, 07:02 AM
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I won't blame the media for feeling the way I feel about my breasts. If I had been pretty happy about myself for 23 years, I won't blame the tv for feeling like this at 24 years old. It's all about me, no one has ever told me I had a problem, in fact, people usually find me attractive so I guess my flat chest is only a problem for me. I will have the money for surgery right on this year, I'm pretty sure and I had thought about it long enough to know I'd rather spend my energy on lingerie stores than on trying to convince myself that it's okay that I'll never know what it's like to have breasts. No, it's not okay. I wear the same AA Cup size as I did when I was 11 so I guess that at 24 it's ridiculous to be expecting them to grow. At pregnancy, it can happen both ways: they can grow and stay or they can deflate after breastfeeding which I think it is the most probable situation as I know and had seen and read about a million A or AA cup women. I only plan to get pregnant at sometime near 30's so I really don't want to wait that long to know.
I don't want to wear a DD cup on my chest and have all men turning their heads on me. They turn their heads already and my supposed breasts are only two A cup silicone inserts. I just DO NOT want to have supposed breasts. I don't want to have to take my breasts off at the end of the day. I don't want to come out from a lingerie store bringing the panties and leaving the bra. I don't want to dress up for a dinner with my boyfriend and feel totally ridiculous in front of him because I grew up one or two cup sizes in 10 minutes just to fit that special top. And I want to feel womanly when I'm in bed with him, without having him being confused if that is my nipple ring or just my ribcage. If I have to spend a huge amount of money and take some health risks, I will. I will choose the best surgeon for me and get informed of everything I should do and shouldn't do, and do it right. I'm not trying to fit some social mold, I'm trying to fit the image I have of myself. I see myself as a very feminine, very sexual, very powerful woman with body and brains and it pisses me off that I have to wear lots of padding to fit my powerful mold. I'm a sucessful imobiliary agent, I've got my own house and car and pay for my own bills, I pay for my own photography classes and I photograph beautiful bare breasts every week, I've got a band and play guitar bass in it so I'm active and smart, I'm not shallow and I believe my reasons to want to have that surgery are pretty fair. I'm not some dumb blonde bimbo who wants to go from a B cup to a DD cup for wrong reasons.
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karategrrl
post May 12 2008, 06:50 AM
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QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 11 2008, 08:56 PM) *
Why does everyone assume that if a woman wants implants, she's trying to fit a mold or being affected by society or whatever? I don't live in the states, I don't know if pressure there is bigger than here in Portugal, but never in my whole life I have tried to fit some social mold. Why is that so difficult to believe that some women just want breasts for theirselves? We can't blame the tv for everything. We dye our hair, shave our legs, spend lots of money on lotions and cellullite gel and all that crap to feel better about ourselves, and are you going to blame the tv for all that money spent? Isn't all that money worth it when you have the best laid of your life because you feel like a princess on that special day? Why are breasts different for that matter, if for some women they are important for their womanhood or sexuality? Sexuality is in our minds. That playmate shown here is really smokin' hot and I do believe women like her should appear more but I just wish I had half of her breast tissue. I should be happy because I don't need to wear a bra but no, I'm unhappy because I CAN'T wear one. Is that a crime that I just want to be able to wear a bra, someday?



Hey Vendetta, Sorry you are feeling frustrated.

To clarify, I think we are all affected by others' opinions and the culture in which we live to some degree. I mean, if a handful of us were to be shipped off to some remote tribe in Africa, I'd bet anything that after a few years, we'd all have at least something inherent to that culture--a lip plate, some tribal tattoos, grass skirt, etc. wink.gif I truly understand your frustration, because, hey, I have often wished the same thing--to have something to put in a bra. However, to clarify I honestly think if we lived in a world where small breasts were perceived as more "womanly," "sexy," etc. than large breasts, for example, lots more women would be having reduction surgery than implant surgery. We could say that about lots of things--if grey hair wasn't largely considered "old-looking," no one would want to dye their hair. If leg hair was largely considered sexy, most women would not shave it. that's all I'm saying.

I have mixed feelings about the playmate photos. On one hand, I do like seeing a smaller-breasted woman portrayed in a way that is "as sexy as" women with larger chests. However, I do overall feel that porn is at least somewhat degrading to women, in the sense of women being portrayed as a "product" for men to rate/ogle/masturbate over/use. (We've discussed this before.) But my feelings aside, thanks for sharing, because it is good to know what's out there if for no other reason than to be a better informed person.

I wll leave you all with this:

I was looking over a swimsuit catalog with someone at work. I was looking at all the suits I "cannot wear" because they have no padding/would not be flattering to my breasts. She has very large breasts, and commented on all the suits she cannot wear b/c the tops have no support/underwire. "My breasts fall out under the bottom otherwise," she said. Just goes to show, we all have our clothing issues when it comes to breast size--not just us smaller ladies. smile.gif

Hope everyone has a great day!
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honeybunch
post May 12 2008, 04:59 AM
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QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ Apr 29 2008, 01:26 PM) *
yes.ummm, yes and yes.

as to the period question, there is absolutely no reason why you should have to have your period every month, every three months or even every three years. amenorrhea/pregnancy are the more 'natural' states of women. if we were living back in the day, we would have been pregnant in our teens (maybe only a year or two after menarche) nursing for 2 to 4 years (which also suppresses ovulation/menses) and then probably as soon as we started ovulating again, we'd get pregnant. we have this enormous store of oocytes but we don't have the time to have them all fertilized and raised up. i've talked to countless gynos about this issue because i HATE getting my period. when bc was first invented, doctors modeled it after a 21-day cycle, which was fairly arbitrary as the follicular phase of most women is highly variable. they installed the time for "period" to make women feel not only more comfortable and natural, but also is 'proof' that you aren't pregnant. the endometrial lining you shed when you take your sugar/placebo pills is not actually a true menses, just the semblances of one. you also aren't ovulating at all, so you aren't shedding an egg. everyone has to pick what they are most comfortable with, and i had concerns about it at first too. i tell you what, i am never looking back though. there are also some preliminary reports that being on birth control for 5 years and then going off of it can significantly increase your fertility. maybe because you aren't shedding eggs? i dunno, because part of the problems in fertility at later ages is the degredation of follicle quality over time.

Yep, that's true. Heck, in some cultures women nurse for up to 7 years with no periods (lucky them), wean, have a few periods, get pregnant and nurse, and the cycle starts all over again. It's probably abnormal from a biological perspective for us to have monthly cycles. It's only bad to not have periods if you have the female athlete triad (starvation diet, too much exercise, etc).


I talked to my SO about my breast issues. He thinks I'm crazy lol. He says he doesn't get it. I don't get how he can't get it-he's a man, and I thought of all people he would understand how bigger breasts are more popular but I guess not.
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neurotic.nelly
post May 11 2008, 10:32 PM
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Vendetta, I do understand what you are saying. That just fucking sucks for you!!! Do you have expendable income to spend on that kind of surgery? Would you be willing to go through with it if you did? If not, then try focusing on the things you like about yourself. Another way to look at things, is that, if you ever got pregnant your breasts would grow to probably a b cup or something!! And they might stay that way afterwards. I have also heard of women growing in their late 20's and 30's. I swear mines are still growing, which does make me happy.

The media/society/culture probably effects a lot of what most people do, feel, say, behave etc. What I like about your post is that you are taking responsibility for how you feel about your breast situation. It sounds like you've thought about it critically. At the end of the day, it's you and your breasts.



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Vendetta
post May 11 2008, 02:39 PM
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Why does everyone assume that if a woman wants implants, she's trying to fit a mold or being affected by society or whatever? I don't live in the states, I don't know if pressure there is bigger than here in Portugal, but never in my whole life I have tried to fit some social mold. Why is that so difficult to believe that some women just want breasts for theirselves? We can't blame the tv for everything. We dye our hair, shave our legs, spend lots of money on lotions and cellullite gel and all that crap to feel better about ourselves, and are you going to blame the tv for all that money spent? Isn't all that money worth it when you have the best laid of your life because you feel like a princess on that special day? Why are breasts different for that matter, if for some women they are important for their womanhood or sexuality? Sexuality is in our minds. That playmate shown here is really smokin' hot and I do believe women like her should appear more but I just wish I had half of her breast tissue. I should be happy because I don't need to wear a bra but no, I'm unhappy because I CAN'T wear one. Is that a crime that I just want to be able to wear a bra, someday?
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karategrrl
post May 8 2008, 07:06 AM
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"my problem is not the surgery itself, but that the society we live in practically demands it of women..we have to get to the root of the problem and not just treat the symptoms...i think every concept in this world is subject to moral gradients. we all decide where our cut-off points are, but there are no absolutes. case in point, i don't like the idea of implants and i think they are unnatural, unhealthy and counter-productive. but i, like karategrrl, would be happy to preform some sort of procedure that would naturally make my breasts bigger. i'm not exactly taking the moral high-ground. in my mind it seems to be silicone=fake, unnatural, and natural=good. even beyond implants, i wouldn't discount the possibility of getting some work done when i get older. maybe i'll have a waddle i want to do away with or something. my good friend works as a secretary in a plastic surgeon's office. she always tells me, 'never say never, one day you may feel just the opposite."

I agree. I feel women are treating the symptoms, not the underlying self-esteem issues, when they get many, many kinds of procedures done. And the growing availability and popularity of such procedures only perpetuates the "fix my body, not my attitude about my body" behavior. And yes, I guess I am being something of a hypocrite when I say that, because I wear makeup, dye my hair, etc. but none of those things are, to me, extreme--certainly not as extreme as having my skin cut open and having foreign objects permanantly inserted into my chest, permanent scars, and living with the constant knowledge that those bags of saline, silicone, soybean oil or whatever could at any time rupture, move, or cause a host of other problems.

"i'm not sure that i don't judge women who get implants. i'm pretty sure i do. it's not fair or righteous, but i have to admit it. i think they look silly and fake. i also think that i makes it that much more difficult to be a small-breasted woman walking around in america. maybe that's not the most popular viewpoint and it's certainly not the most open-minded and accepting, but i have to own up to how it makes me feel."

I agree. What upsets me most about the whole issue is the overall trend--I find it astonishing how many women actually do this, and that by doing so, it makes it more "normal" to be so altered. I like what DJ said so well:

"in their world, appearance is important, it is more important than overall wellbeing."

This is true. Neurotic.nelly brought up a good point when she mentioned the cat lady and such (who looked tons better before all her surgeries). I've read articles where surgeons say they have clients who are never satisfied--once they get something "fixed," their dissatisfaction focuses elsewhere on their body, and they're back for more surgery.
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neurotic.nelly
post May 7 2008, 06:04 PM
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QUOTE(knorl05 @ May 6 2008, 11:22 AM) *
ps. neurotic nelly. i think that's the point strongirl was making... we all do have to duck stones frequently simply being women. why not, instead of perpetuate the stonings, try to make life a little easier on eachother as women. knowing that we all do endure similar struggles and realize part of the intention of being a feminist (IMHO) is to encourage the liberation and empowerment of women of all social and cultural backgrounds.

I hear what you are saying, and I agree. I think the point I was eluding to was more along the lines of this: if one is having self esteem issues around breast size that is persistent and obsessive, this is something that one should look at because ultimately the obsession is only a symptom of a larger self esteem issue and getting breast implants will not resolve them. It is so sad and dangerous to see women with self esteem issues or image issues with expendable income go under the knife again, and again, and again.
Just look at lil kim, and the cat lady, or Michael Jackson for that matter.
I was trying to say that women should take responsibility for their emotional issues around body image issues because women and feminists are not always nice and liberating and empowering towards eachother, and I'd like to promote strength as a feminst as well as the other qualities that you pointed out knorl. That's all I got right now. Adios!


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honeybunch
post May 7 2008, 02:53 PM
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QUOTE(Vendetta @ May 3 2008, 04:05 PM) *
I don't need the media or society to tell me that something's "wrong" with me, I just need to leave the house and take a walk around to look at every other women and figure out that they have something that I don't. Some small busties don't care about it, others do. Some women feel incomplete, others don't. We're not all the same. So why should people criticize those who choose to do something for theirselves, if there's an option nowadays? Not everyone wants to have double D's on their chest and not everyone is stupid enough to do it. Some people just want to have "something", to feel complete. So why shouldn't we respect some people's options?

That's very true. I don't know why people always blame it on TV. It's pretty obvious when I go out to see that most women even skinnier ones usually have bigger breasts than me. I'm not sure why people think I want big breasts, either. I've experienced D cup, and I didn't like it. I just want to be average-a C. I want to be able to wear a regular tank top and have cleavage.
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