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> small breast support group - (I need it even if they don't)
karategrrl
post Dec 4 2009, 11:55 AM
Post #1581


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QUOTE(angie_21 @ Dec 4 2009, 01:40 AM) *
wow! I can only say so much, but..
I do have to disagree with the idea that small girls get picked on more than large girls. Maybe we notice it more because, well, we're the ones being picked on for being small, while we ourselves have never been picked on for being "fat." But in my experience, it's a lot meaner, a lot more blatant, and a lot more often when fat girls get rudely commented on. That's why it's considered in bad taste to make those comments. Skinny girls get some flak, but people assume we can take it because, quite often, we're only getting that flak out of jealousy and it's assumed we know it. And no one says "oh you're lucky, you're so fat." or "I wish I was as fat as you." people say the opposite all the time, however. And actually, it's not scientifically proven that being in the "overweight" range is bad for you. It's marginally proven that being obese is bad for you, but until you're hundreds of pounds overweight, it's less of a factor in your health than smoking or drinking. Now, being out of shape, that's another matter, but you can look skinny and be totally out of shape. Don't all pounce on me at once, I'm not saying people's comments to skinny girls aren't hurtful because I know they are, I've experienced them. I just don't ever want this to be a board where we bring other people down to feel better about ourselves. Like issy said, we shouls be appreciating all bodies, not taking our anger out on anyone else's bodies.

All very good points, and thanks for saying so.

Speaking of beauty in all sizes, has anyone seen Gabby Sidibe (the new actress from "Precious") in her appearance on the Ellen show? I watched this this morning on youtube and found myself really admiring her--she's so down to earth and real, and sweet, intelligent and--shit, she has some fierce dance moves! She made no apologies for being large--she was totally proud and seemed so comfortable in her own skin. I was very inspired by her, and found myself thinking, "wow, she is beautiful from the inside out" and "dang, if she can be so fierce as a large girl, surely I can be just as fierce with my booblets." wink.gif I have to see that movie.

This post has been edited by karategrrl: Dec 4 2009, 11:55 AM
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Allison-Shine
post Dec 4 2009, 07:55 AM
Post #1582


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QUOTE(buttercups @ Dec 4 2009, 01:43 AM) *
Minor little boob crisis of the day:

So we've had to perform physical exams on each other for class, I mentioned it a little while ago bc I was terrified of having to wear a real bra in front of people. Well today I wasn't expecting to be practicing doing physical exams, so I wore my usual way-too-big bra with the padded inserts. My professor wanted to see me and my partner perform some skill for whatever reason, and I was faced with having to wear my ginormous bra bc once I take the padding out it gaps so much my entire breast is showing from the top. So naturally I panicked and didn't know what to do, I have always had my tiny bras on anytime we've done anything like this. Well thank god for me my professor gave us a little break and I remembered I had a bunch of clothes I meant to donate to charity in the trunk of my car. I went ripping through it and miraculously found a normal bra in there that will actually cover me up- thank you god again! I ran in and changed and all was well, but that could have been a disaster. I guess that's just one more reason why you don't want to wear giant bras with padding in them hahah. I can't go in the other direction yet bc I don't want people to see me drop from like a full, overflowing B to a AA, but at some point I'm going to definitely start toning it down so it won't be completely obvious. *whew* dodged a bullet haha! Wish I never started padding like this so if anyone is thinking about it, think twice!

You all rock! <3 buttercups


Makes me glad that I majored in advertising. Whew, talk about being under duress !
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buttercups
post Dec 4 2009, 01:43 AM
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Awww you guys are all too sweet, you really make me feel like being this way just HAS to stop. I guess if you all see something special in me then there is something there, and please all know that the feeling is completely mutual! For once in my life I'll take your word for it (thanks Strongirl) and KeraBear you are just the sweetest thing, thank you. And KeraBear I think it's so wonderful that you have found this place when you did, you are a million times more mature than I ever was at your age and you have an incredible attitude (much much better than mine ever was)! I wonder if I had found you all sooner if I would have avoided a bunch of crap in my life, but all I can do is feel lucky that I've found you all now and I can avoid all that future crap.

Nbdx0645, what an amazing perspective you have, wow. Your post was just so meaningful and you're right, I think not being "perfect" maybe really does open ourselves up to other people in a way that we may otherwise not have been able to. Looks like you've found a pretty big silver lining to what is so often considered a big dark cloud. Thank you for that, I'll remember that often.

Ichigogirl, awesome post it was very interesting to read about how we are all so breast-obsessed over here- I'm moving to Sweden! Thanks for posting the pic of that model, her breasts look almost exactly like my size, makes me feel happy : )

Thanks Angie for finding some confidence in me that I didn't know I had. I think about plastic surgery a great deal, can't say I don't, but until I go down that road I guess I do have more confidence than I think I do. I'm trying to focus on all the great things you have all said about me, and that's going to be the only things I allow in this head for awhile.

Minor little boob crisis of the day:

So we've had to perform physical exams on each other for class, I mentioned it a little while ago bc I was terrified of having to wear a real bra in front of people. Well today I wasn't expecting to be practicing doing physical exams, so I wore my usual way-too-big bra with the padded inserts. My professor wanted to see me and my partner perform some skill for whatever reason, and I was faced with having to wear my ginormous bra bc once I take the padding out it gaps so much my entire breast is showing from the top. So naturally I panicked and didn't know what to do, I have always had my tiny bras on anytime we've done anything like this. Well thank god for me my professor gave us a little break and I remembered I had a bunch of clothes I meant to donate to charity in the trunk of my car. I went ripping through it and miraculously found a normal bra in there that will actually cover me up- thank you god again! I ran in and changed and all was well, but that could have been a disaster. I guess that's just one more reason why you don't want to wear giant bras with padding in them hahah. I can't go in the other direction yet bc I don't want people to see me drop from like a full, overflowing B to a AA, but at some point I'm going to definitely start toning it down so it won't be completely obvious. *whew* dodged a bullet haha! Wish I never started padding like this so if anyone is thinking about it, think twice!

You all rock! <3 buttercups
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angie_21
post Dec 3 2009, 08:40 PM
Post #1584


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wow! I can only say so much, but..

buttercups, you're outnumbered, we all think you're special. You're still very young and learning a lot about yourself, but what we see in you isn't about how you look, or about being cool, or different. We can see from your posts that you are very smart, very thoughful, and probably also a very generous person. Even though you are angry, you take everything into consideration and you think abotu how other people feel, not just yourself. It may seem like these things don't show, but I know that they must because I find that when I focus on similar qualities in myself, people are more attracted to me and act more positively around me. You just need to find a way to bring these qualities out where people can really see them! Also, even if you can't feel it all the time, you do have confidence, because you are here instead of in plastic surgery land. You know what you think, you know what you think is right, and even if you can't always speak up about it in front of your friends or family, you've refused to cave in and just do what they think you should do. That's awesome! Unfortunately, that's the kind of thing that others also sometimes try to bring down.

so true, issy!

nbdx, it sounds like the herbals were ramping up your regular hormonal cycles or something! I bet they would have a similar effect as the pill, help some people gorw a bit, but back to normal as soon as you stop, or as soon as your body adjusts. If it worked, wouldn't everyone being doing it, instead of spending all that money on surgery? LOL about the syrup smell! I also have the same feeling about if I had bigger breasts, then who would I really be? Sometimes I think I am so lucky to have gotten a bt less attention from guys, because otherwise I may never have had the dedication to my education I have now lol

I do have to disagree with the idea that small girls get picked on more than large girls. Maybe we notice it more because, well, we're the ones being picked on for being small, while we ourselves have never been picked on for being "fat." But in my experience, it's a lot meaner, a lot more blatant, and a lot more often when fat girls get rudely commented on. That's why it's considered in bad taste to make those comments. Skinny girls get some flak, but people assume we can take it because, quite often, we're only getting that flak out of jealousy and it's assumed we know it. And no one says "oh you're lucky, you're so fat." or "I wish I was as fat as you." people say the opposite all the time, however. And actually, it's not scientifically proven that being in the "overweight" range is bad for you. It's marginally proven that being obese is bad for you, but until you're hundreds of pounds overweight, it's less of a factor in your health than smoking or drinking. Now, being out of shape, that's another matter, but you can look skinny and be totally out of shape. Don't all pounce on me at once, I'm not saying people's comments to skinny girls aren't hurtful because I know they are, I've experienced them. I just don't ever want this to be a board where we bring other people down to feel better about ourselves. Like issy said, we shouls be appreciating all bodies, not taking our anger out on anyone else's bodies.
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spot-on
post Dec 3 2009, 08:01 PM
Post #1585


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QUOTE(nbdx0645 @ Dec 3 2009, 03:19 PM) *
Being a 34AA spurred my awareness to the numerous body issues that women have, and it made me want to help women feel like they're not 'less than'. What can I do to help? I'm not quite sure yet. I feel the desperation, inadequacy, depression, and isolation from my own situation. I can do my best to relate those feelings to women who have large breasts, women who lost their breasts, women trying to lose weight, gain weight, maintain their weight, women who want to grow taller, women who want to stop growing...the list goes on. I definitely can't understand everything others are experiencing, but I can empathize because of my own experience. I don't think I would be able to do that if I had medium-or-larger breasts on this body. I'm human, and this is the way I am, and this allows me to interact with other humans, in a humane manner. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with them, but I can be happy with 'me.'


I think this is a great post, and the very reason that I started telling other women compliments, even complete strangers. Just one little 'pick me up' can make your whole day and make you start to feel good about yourself. Even if it's just a top they are wearing, or a certain perfume just tell them one compliment. Whenever we gussy ourselves up to go to a special evening out, we hear it all the time "Oh you look fabulous, that *insert item* looks awesome on you!". But why not everyday? Why not from strangers? This has been my goal since November, everytime I go out, compliment at least one person. I think this also goes back to the many reasons why not to get implants, because there will always be something else, be it weight, height, hair color, nose size etc (not to mention the health issues with implants). If we can boost some random womans spirit for just 1 minute of 1 day then I am all for it! Imagine if it took off, the self esteem of women would be raised everywhere, implants would be a thing of the past and world peace would ensue! Well not quite, but you get the idea smile.gif

The VS fashion show, I was just amazed that a major boobie brand used smallish boob models! I agree one size definitely doesn't fit all, and it's all in the eye of the beholder for sure, but it was good to see. I agree some of the wings, and outfits (the long flowy gowns) were beautiful.

I have a bra with the small fillets yeah sweat city. I hardly wear it now. Cos of the sweat factor and cos it's heavy! Those things weigh! Though the bra is ill fitting so that doesn't help. lol!
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nbdx0645
post Dec 3 2009, 06:19 PM
Post #1586


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My, we're chatty today wink.gif There's so much material here, I don't know where to start.

I usually just watch the VS fashion show for the prop-making (those wings are so fantastic, can they just sell them?) And it's important to remember that while these women have the title 'most beautiful in the world' -- others may not find them attractive. One-type-fits-all? Never. Hmm...maybe there's a marketing strategy in that line, somewhere.

My mom got the VS breast 'fillets' for me, and I wore them once going out...and let me tell you...when you sweat, they will be slippin' and a-slidin'! I wiped the sweat off them and sold the set on Ebay.

I was talking to my boyfriend about the board (it's our way of having a mini therapy session) and I told him that it's good that I'm as small as I am. Here is why.

Being a 34AA spurred my awareness to the numerous body issues that women have, and it made me want to help women feel like they're not 'less than'. What can I do to help? I'm not quite sure yet. I feel the desperation, inadequacy, depression, and isolation from my own situation. I can do my best to relate those feelings to women who have large breasts, women who lost their breasts, women trying to lose weight, gain weight, maintain their weight, women who want to grow taller, women who want to stop growing...the list goes on. I definitely can't understand everything others are experiencing, but I can empathize because of my own experience. I don't think I would be able to do that if I had medium-or-larger breasts on this body. I'm human, and this is the way I am, and this allows me to interact with other humans, in a humane manner. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with them, but I can be happy with 'me.'

I'm afraid of what I would have become if I "had it all."


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spot-on
post Dec 3 2009, 12:22 PM
Post #1587


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From: California


Ok did anyone watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show? There were a couple of smaller busted gals on there and it made me sooo happy to see them! Too often we're bombarded with images of unrealistic breast sizes due to implants and here is the major underwear manufacturer using REAL boobs, in REAL sizes and different sizes to boot! Aside from them being insanely thin I though it was pretty good, but then they are models so thin is par for the course. I just thought it was pretty good that they were showing boobs of ALL sizes kwim? Plus like Issy said, ALL the boobs I saw looked great! I didn't find myself thinking "I wish I had those boobs" at all. Maybe I'm turning a corner? lol! Maybe it helps to know that almost all the bra's there have pushup & padding and that what I'm seeing isn't just boob? I dunno. I do know that there were a few things on my shopping list for the future smile.gif
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KeraBear
post Dec 3 2009, 12:15 PM
Post #1588


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QUOTE(karategrrl @ Dec 1 2009, 09:02 AM) *
KeraBear, I'm so glad you found this place. Be my little sister?? <<hug>>


I would consider it an honor. wink.gif

Oh yeah, and to those of you who started your periods at 10 or 11... yeah... that sucks. Looking back, i feel pretty darn blessed to have started as late as i did. But not so much when I was oh so eager to "blossom" into womanhood. If only I would've known. Ha ha...

Buttercup... i've had my share of teasing, but never eccountered an @$$hole like that guy who unbuttoned your shirt and then said what he did. It's one thing to be teased, but to have that happen from somebody you TRUSTED like that? Way not cool. You are beautiful. I can tyell that much from your words. And i've never met you.

And finally... you go, Ichirogirl! Well said!
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strongirl
post Dec 3 2009, 10:13 AM
Post #1589


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Ichigogirl, who is that girl in the link? She's smokin' hot!!!! I'm in love.
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strongirl
post Dec 3 2009, 10:11 AM
Post #1590


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Issy, OMG!!! You are the Buddha of breasts, you have risen to the highest level of consciousness possible!!! Wow, we should all read Issy's post over and think about it and try to internalize it - it's PROFOUND!

I try to embody the deep love of self and others that you describe there but I don't think I'm quite on your level yet. Or at least I haven't been able to articulate it quite like that. I follow in your footsteps, I strive to emulate you. I will work to open up and channel my inner Issy. My deepest thanks to you for saying what you did in the way that you did. You are lighting the path for all of us.

And Ichigogirl, thanks for the reality check and refreshing perspective through a different cultural lense. You are so so right - beauty is NOT just one thing! - and in appreciating our own we also open up to appreciating others', as Issy was saying.

Buttercups, sorry to be argumentative, but there IS something special about you and everyone who interacts with you in here recognizes it. I think the people who have hurt you recognize it too, only they react negatively due to their own problems and insecurities. It's not just about looks or the size of anything - it's an energy, a vibe, it's the combination of the whole package. Reread Karategrrl's and Spot-on's posts to you. Face it, girl - we're right and you're wrong, LOL! (I say that with humor and affection, just in case it came across the wrong way.)
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karategrrl
post Dec 3 2009, 10:10 AM
Post #1591


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QUOTE(Ichigogirl @ Dec 3 2009, 03:04 PM) *
Take a look at this picture:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2108/235456..._d8cde945b2.jpg

That's one of the top-top-models of the world at the moment, ladies, and she's gorgeous, with totally real, and very small boobs.

Wow. Sweet. And CONFIDENT.
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karategrrl
post Dec 3 2009, 10:09 AM
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QUOTE(Ichigogirl @ Dec 2 2009, 09:19 PM) *
It upsets me deeply that it seems to be politically correct, and normal behaviour to critizise women who are thin and/or have small breasts, and to call them unsexy and "not real women". At the same time you have to tip-toe around the fact that being too fat is deeply unhealthy, and the words "fat" or "obese" are taboo.

Very insightful post, ichigogirl. I have spent many moments pondering the above stuff myself.
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Ichigogirl
post Dec 3 2009, 10:04 AM
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Take a look at this picture:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2108/235456..._d8cde945b2.jpg

That's one of the top-top-models of the world at the moment, ladies, and she's gorgeous, with totally real, and very small boobs.

This post has been edited by Ichigogirl: Dec 3 2009, 10:04 AM
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Ichigogirl
post Dec 2 2009, 04:19 PM
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Hi! I've been reading bits of this discussion, and I'd like to add the view of a small-breasted girl who doesn't live in the US... it seems to be quite a different world!
It upsets me deeply that it seems to be politically correct, and normal behaviour to critizise women who are thin and/or have small breasts, and to call them unsexy and "not real women". At the same time you have to tip-toe around the fact that being too fat is deeply unhealthy, and the words "fat" or "obese" are taboo.
I'm not saying it should be ok to call overweight people names, but it's very strange that you have to be so very careful around the fat-issue - that is also a health issue- when it's totally accepted in a wide community to be quite rude, and personal, to healthy, sexy, small-breasted women.
I think fit, small chested women are very attractive, and sexy (I'm not gay, but in an estetic kind of way).
I'm chocked to read that some of your mothers WANT you to have plastic surgery just because you happen to not be bust-queens (but you seem to be queens in so many other ways, focus on that instead!). It makes me sad and I think it's just twisted. Insane. They should be so proud of you!
I live in Sweden, and although we do have PS here, and some women get their boobs done, it's not that common. My mum would be deeply upset if I had a boob-job, even though she's a small-chested woman and struggled with that in the 1950's -60's when Marilyn Monroe was the ideal... I think she's always wanted to be more busty. But to wish for larger breasts and to insert foreign objects in your body to get them are two totally different things!
I think the trend will turn. I think we'll get tired of women with perfect, plastic C/D-cup-boobs, and swollen ducks-beak-lips (they look awful!). It's like the beauty-ideal in some circles has become a freak-show, it's insane!
Sometimes I see pictures of actresses in the 1980's, with beautiful, thin lips and very small but perky breasts, and they were just so beautiful! Just look at Melanie Griffith, she was so much more beautiful before she got all plastic... and she's far from the only one. What happened?
I hope more and more women, and men, will discover the beauty in looking different, and of being natural. There IS beauty in all kind of looks, beauty is NOT just one thing.
Finally I'd like to share a - to me - surprising experience. A few years ago I spent an eveing at one of Stockholm's best nightclubs. One of those places where it's almost impossible to enter unless you know the guards (I have cute, clever girlfriends, so we got in anyway). I didn't know that then, but that very evening they had had an event at another nightclub nextdoor, arranged by one of the biggest glamour-magazines in sweden. All the special guests went to the nightclub I was at when the event finished, so the place was swarmed with perfect, plastic C- and D-cupped blondes (nothing wrong with blondes, I'm blond myself...). I'm a quite humble B-cup (32B to be precise, that equals 34A, or 36AA in cup-size).... I've never been as popular among the men as I was that evening :-).
It's not all in the cups, be proud of yourselves, you're clever, strong girls and that will get you so much further than implants ever will, promise!
Oh, and I saw someone here who wrote that she struggles with looking too young/beeing small; it gets better! I'm 36 now. I've always looked 5-10 years younger than I am, I still do, I will never look like a real WOMAN, but now it's finally more of an advantage than a disadvantage. I'm not that short (165cm's) but I'm very petit, and people liketo inform me of that (why?). And I defenitely wouldn't want it any other way (although i'm rather tired of having to convince people I don't lie about my age)! But it's a good skill for us eternal teenagers to learn how to convey your real age in a not too obvious way...
Love the way you are, with all pro's and con's (there are two sides to everything)! It gets easier to do that with age I think...

This post has been edited by Ichigogirl: Dec 2 2009, 04:23 PM
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spot-on
post Dec 2 2009, 10:13 AM
Post #1595


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I have to say I agree with Strongirl. There is obviously something about you that the other people are jealous of. Whether it be your figure, your looks etc they are obviously jealous. Women can be total bitches to other women out of jealousy and we all know that some men, especially younger ones, often treat women they actually have feelings for and care about like shit. My guess is that they treat you this way to suppress your confidence and keep you at or below their level because they know that as soon as you feel confident and comfortable in your own body you'll me miles above them and leave them in the dust. Because of your lack of confidence you are attracting these negative people.

Obviously it isn't impacting you on the BF front as you said yourself that hasn't been an issue, you've always had a BF. However that can also cause jealousy in some women, especially if you have a strong relationship with your BFs. When women see a weakness they will hone in on it and 'put you down a peg' because again they are jealous. What do you have that they don't? What do they have that you don't? and how can they exploit that and make men see that they are the better option. They all know you'd be the hottest thing about if you had more confidence in yourself, they see it, and they are afraid/jealous of it.

I'd also like to point out that they aren't really your friends. Sorry but friends don't make each other feel like shit, or point out negative aspects. Instead of putting you down they should be lifting you up. That's what real friends do! My advice would be to get some new friends! Don't let them steal your confidence!!! See shit like that makes me all the more determined to kick ass and take names. Alternatively play their game, yeah it's dragging yourself to their level but hey if they can't take it don't dish it out! Pick something they are sensitive about and when they remark on your small breasts then comment on them. My favorite though is to act confident and turn the negative into a positive. What exactly are they saying to you? Maybe us busties can come up with some one liners for you to cut them down?

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buttercups
post Dec 2 2009, 08:55 AM
Post #1596


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Awww you are all so sweet and inspiring, thank you so much. I guess I half-expected that everyone here has dealt with those kinds of comments, and the weird thing about them was that they seemed to follow me wherever I go. So as much as I'd like to believe I do live in some asshole black hole in America (hahahahhaha I love it Angie!), I have to admit that the common denominator here is me, since it happened in other states where I went to college (and I transferred from one college to another because of how mean the people were to me and the same thing pretty much happened at the other college too). Maybe if I had learned to be as strong as you Aithinne, and all you other ladies here, I wouldn't have come across it so much. My mom has told me before that the people you hang around with reflect how you see yourself. I would think about that alot bc a lot of the girls (and boys) I have hung around with my whole life have always made comments and put me down, and no matter where I went I always seemed to end up with these types of people. My mom insisted that it had something to do with how I act and how I attract people who have a certain opinion of me. Part of me isn't sure how that's possible bc a lot of the people I became friends with in college I just randomly became friends with because they were living on my floor or something, but who knows?

Strongirl, you are just so kind and that is so sweet of you to think these things. As much as I'd like to believe that, there really isn't anything special about me or the way I look except for the fact that I'm so much smaller than other people in every way, so in that way I'm different from just about everyone around me. I guess people also love to put down things that are different, so that could be another reason. I have always gotten the sense on this forum that you are confident and very content with yourself and being yourself, and that is something I truly admire about you. I found it surprising when you said that you are often surprised seeing yourself come off that way, because to me you just exude self-confidence and security, and I'm positive that others around you see you that way. It's a wonderful thing and so refreshing and inspiring to me.

Issy I'm definitely at the point that you are now, so sick of focusing on being small, yet at the same time really wanting to embrace it and love it. It's awesome that you just went cold turkey, cut out the padding, and are feeling great now! Anytime I wear just slightly padded bras that pretty much show what I really have, I am super self-conscious and I haven't gotten to the point where I'm comfortable yet. And I try to wear them as much as possible, but still can only wear them with like a sweatshirt or jacket over me and only when I go out with my bf or I'm staying home when I know I won't really run into anyone else from high school or any of my friends now. I do believe that people can smell insecurity on you though, and that could definitely be what's happening, you're absolutely right!

Karategrrl you are so f*$@kin hilarious! Hahahaha it wouldve been so awesome to kick them all right in the nads! Then I would have to comment on how little those nads were haha! I can see people feeling threatened by you, because you are awesome! Next time someone says something, I'm gonna picture myself kickin those family jewels!

Guess you all have shown me that I really need to get this confidence thing goin, I'm on it!

And as far as the BC pill thing for me, I really never grew much either on it. I've heard before that it has a lot to do with how much hormones and fat you naturally produce or something, so the girls with naturally big boobs are gonna get bigger, but the smallies really won't be too affected. I'm currently on Jolessa, so I only get my period 4 times a year (not sure if I would recommend it bc I'm on it for painful periods and my last period was the most painful one I've ever experienced, so don't know how long I'll be on it for) and my breasts do get swollen and very tender. I've come to enjoy that tender pain bc I know it means my breasts are slightly enlarged and they just feel heavier. I'm the only one who can notice a difference and it only fills out my bras just a littttleee bit more, so still a AA, but I do miss it when I get my period and I completely shrink back. So for about 2.5 months I have slightly enlarged boobies, but once that week comes its back to square one. No pill has ever increased me a cup size or anything, and everytime I switch BC pills I think to myself "this is gonna be the one!" but nope. Probably just in our biology and our genes unfortunately..
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karategrrl
post Dec 2 2009, 07:11 AM
Post #1597


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 714


strongirl, you are totally right on with your comments as far as buttercups. You hit the nail on the head, girl. You reminded me of something--and not to toot my own horn, but at some point I did realize that looking back over the years, the people that had the biggest problem with me actually had serious problems with themselves, and felt THREATENED. It is a sick trait that people who feel threatened feel the need to take you down a peg, but it is SO TRUE. And yes, somehow strangely intertwined with others' feeling threatened is these assholes ability to also sniff out the least bit of insecurity, and pounce all over it. Buttercup girl, I do believe that is what's happening. It will take awhile, but I think if you act with confidence over and over again, over time these "people" will come to realize they can't fuck with you anymore. It will take time, and you may stumble a bit here and there, but you will do it.

buttercups, As I was reading your post about all the stupid shit people have said and stuff, I got a vivid mental pic of you kicking people in the balls (or other appropriate place). Just imagine the thrill of the look of pained shock on a douchebag's face as he realizes (through the searing, teary-eyed pain), "Wow, that little cute thing is fierce! I totally didn't expect that!" It's a sad fact that sometimes you have to force people to respect you.


Total topic shift: I forget who mentioned this, but you are NOT the only woman who got no breast growth whatsoever from going on birth control pills. When I started taking them (now about 4 years ago), my breasts puffed out a BIT and I was so thrilled I was, like, doing freaking cartwheels and wondering why on Earth I didn't take them YEARS before. I read online stories of women complaining how they'd gone from B to D, breasts too big, etc. and I thought, YESSSS! this is only the beginning!!!
Um..in two weeks, my body had adjusted. Back to AA Land. mad.gif

This post has been edited by karategrrl: Dec 2 2009, 07:12 AM
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issy
post Dec 2 2009, 01:15 AM
Post #1598


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I used to wear Wonderbras with inches and inches of padding and sneak those little removable watery packets from department stores in my own bra, until I realized how sick I was of focusing on my tits so I set out to 'cure' myself by deliberately going braless with my small tits self. Well, it worked...triumph of will I guess. When the world didn't crumble and the sky didn't rain blood down on my shirt exposing what I was missing I figured, who gives a damn, right? I appreciated what I did have. Small, delicate nipples. A knowledge that they will not be around my knees, or cause my spine problems when I'm older. A couple of baby feeders when and if I'm ready. No matter what yours look like, I guarantee you have at least two stellar reasons to love them. I guess for me it was the footloose and titty free version of looking in the mirror and going 'they're good enough, they're big enough, and gosh darnit, people like them!'

And I've found that since becoming in love with my own breasts, there is not a tit that crosses my path that I do not love. I can literally not find a thing wrong with any titty. Which leads me to believe that mom was right, people who tease you really are just acting out on their own inadequacies. Like the lady said below me, they are just trying to take you down a peg. Or, more commonly, they can smell insecurity on you. I once read something that said 'Ever wonder why there are some girls out there that just draw attention, they grab every eye, people seem drawn to them and men flock to them, and yet you look at them going what makes HER so special? She isn't overly good looking, she might even be homely. That thing that makes her beautiful, it's not her hair or her face or her body, it's CONFIDENCE. It's the knowledge in her heart that she is amazing just how she is that flows out of each of her pores and makes her stunning'

The type of people who can only be up if they are bringing someone else down are those who see ugliness in themselves, not you. Have compassion for those who have hurt you as lost sad souls looking to soothe their own hurts with your tears. Dismiss it for what it is, THEIR PROBLEM, and you will be infused with something that no bra size or insult can touch, and that is self love, and confidence.


--------------------
we may have just changed the world
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strongirl
post Dec 1 2009, 09:46 PM
Post #1599


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Posts: 295


Wow, I'm just blown away by all these intense personal stories!

Buttercups, that is just a bizarre litany of awful things that have happened to you! Ya know, sometimes this forum is a bit tough because we can't actually see or speak to each other...it's hard to get a real sense of the person. But let me toss this out for your consideration. What if...people are so horrible to you because you truly are a "shining star" -one of those unusual people who others recongnize on some level to be outstanding, brilliant, beautiful, special - and therefore they feel no guilt about taking you down a peg? It almost seems to me like you have a peculiar mix of recognizing in some vague way that you are, well, impressive...and at the same time, being horribly insecure. I've struggled a bit to understand that - I've wondered, why would someone so obviously smart, with a boyfriend who appears to be quite smitten with her (and most likely a bit intimidated by her, thus the ED), who comes across as totally attractive and adorable - why would that person be so down on herself? Well, after hearing that laundry list of insults, no wonder, girl! The things that have happened to you totally suck! No one should have to go through that.

At the same time, I can't help but wonder - maybe you did fall into an "asshole black hole" (excellent image, Angie!) or maybe people see you as so strong, attractive, capable, and special that they think it can't hurt you to take a shot at you.

Something kind of comparable - on a number of occasions when I've seen myself on video, I'm shocked at how I come across. On the inside, I feel like I wrestle with a lot of self-doubt and dissatisfaction. But when I see myself on film, I seem confident, happy, and in control. The contrast is very strange to me. Maybe you have something similar going on and you haven't realized it yet.
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nbdx0645
post Dec 1 2009, 09:07 PM
Post #1600


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 134


Hey all, to follow up on a few questions --
For the breast enlargement program, I used Fenugreek, Saw Palmetto, and Red Clover extracts. I've abbreviated the program's directions. I hope that's ok. There's a regimen out there that has you take 1 of each extract 3x a day. Plus, there are topical extracts that you would use twice a day and massage into the breasts. In the beginning, it worked. My breasts were sore and my bras were snug. I was so happy for those 3 weeks. Then, my period came and it all went away, and then some. I couldn't fit in any of the bras I owned. I went out to Target to buy new ones, 34AA. I felt so guilty that I 'broke' my body. I was a small-ish 34A, but I could fit into things at department stores. Not anymore. It was horrible. They've stayed the same size since then. I cried every night for a few weeks. I also wondered if I gave up on the program too soon, but it didn't say anything about shrinking breasts so I didn't know what to do. I'm sure I felt the same feeling other women had when they've augmented their breasts and had complications or a bad result.

The worst thing about the program was the SMELL of the extracts. It smells like strong maple syrup. My coworker has the nose of a Bloodhound, and she kept going "Do you smell pancakes? I smell pancakes!" Another time, I was requesting a job from the photo studio, and she says "Oh no, I think the spotlight is burning out...can you smell the syrupy odor?" At the DMV, I was getting my motorcycle license, and the lady behind the counter goes "Eeek...someone's radiator is overheating!" Nope. It was just me and my smelly pancake-tits. Argh. Isn't that some form of irony?

For my Thanksgiving -- I still get creepy passive-aggressive comments from my mom. I wore a bralette with a tank top and a shoulder shrug to Thanksgiving. It was very cute. I was very double-A. My mom, the dumb broad she is, kept following me around saying "Oh, do you want my sweater? It's cold, do you need my sweater? Do you want to cover up with my sweater? I don't need my sweater." I kept saying "No, it's alright" and "No, it doesn't go with my outfit." But she wouldn't stop. It wasn't even that cold at my aunt's house.

Regarding birth control -- I was on ortho-tricyclen for a few years but I didn't notice a big gain. Though, I was on BC since I was 15ish because my sister got pregnant at 18....so I'm not fully sure if I gained with it or not. I really don't remember what my breasts looked like before because I hated looking at them. It's such a downer to recall all this stuff, but I'm talking about things I never thought about before.
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