cuttin' it close with your hostess, lady schick! :: girl, it's trouble.
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About Me....

um... who me? uh i guess i'm the lounge's resident tranny. old school bustie formerly known as butta.

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entry May 2 2007, 11:01 PM
mood: wink.gif rolleyes.gif
i haven't had time to post, but i post in threads and yammer on and on, this is actually from the "write a letter you will never send thread," one of my favorites in the lounge. after i posted it, i thought it would be good here, so forgive the cross post....
dear wee lil' hips,

do you know how long i've waited for you to sprout? it's been forever. for the longest time, i would daydream about having you. i'd close my eyes at night and hope you'd be there magically in the morning... but you never were. all my friends tease me, saying i can have their fat, their hips, and if i knew a way to make that happen i would have, but there isn't. i had to wait for you. it's been roughly 96,532 hours give or take a couple thousand, since i started this path. ok, technically i've always been on this path, but you know what i mean. it's not been easy. i thought you'd be here years ago, i wouldn't still be shaving, my boobs'd be well, lets just say i wouldn't be wearing padded bras anymore. i also didn't think i'd pass, or change my name, or any number of the numerous detours i've taken. it's the story of my life. i know umpteen girls who transitioned in a year, and did things faster than me, but this is my path, my life and my body. as much of a pain in the-- lol -- ass my body has been, i've dragged it in to this new life kicking and screaming, but it was you that i wanted, you that i waited for. i don't know how much you'll grow, but i hope it's a lot. since day one, i wanted child bearing hips, funny as it sounds. all the other girls wanted boobs, and while i thought that would be nice, i wanted hips, those marvelous curves....i didn't, i don't, care about the big operation, that wasn't womanhood to me, or more exactly, for me. it was so many other things, things people pointed out that were already a part of me, how i held a cup of coffee, soft gestures, an inner strength, love of things with personal meanings, quietness, and you. i even debated doing things i knew were dangerous so i could have some facsimilie of you. i've gone back and forth, looking at other girls, industrial silicone filling their hips and chests. their hourglass figures, perfect for now. i never wanted perfection, only to find myself, and who knows how long the silicone would stay in my head i can still see pictures of trannys with that plastic, bonded with their muscles sliding, lumpy, chunky, impossible to take out... but still i wanted you so badly, i still do. it's so funny, the temptation to get pumped. i know it's not a good long term choice, but i have fought all my life to have my body the way i know it in my head-- even for a little while, it seems worth while, but i am hoping that the tranny god/dess will have blessed me, just at the time when i probably would have given in, made the other choice. i can't even say it's the wrong one. just a different one. but i hope you are here, right on time, as aunt dottie would say, on these days when i feel more like a woman than i ever did, when it takes so little effort, when i feel comfortable in my skin, something i've felt so rarely in my 30+ years. it feels like i'm growing into me, into my womanhood, and here you come! yay! i just want you to know, you are wanted, no matter how much, you won't hear complaints from me. you just grow big, k? i love you, little hips. make me proud...after all, i've been waiting....


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