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um... who me? uh i guess i'm the lounge's resident tranny. old school bustie formerly known as butta.

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 | Category: life
entry Jul 19 2007, 03:48 AM

today was the day of graduation from the welding program, and daddy was sweet enough to show up... bringing 2 dozen roses for me. before her, i never cared much for roses, they always seemed like the default flower, and most times the smell wasn't so strong-- it had been bred out of them. but daddy-- well daddy is obsessed with them. you show her most roses and she can tell you there name and can tell you how she knows by the thorns, rose size and strength of smell. but the thorns are mostly why she likes them. she is a sadist, after all. she picked out a really obscure breed of rose to plant all along her back fence. this particular strain of rose have a medium size bulb, but have a very strong smell, but lots of very long thorns. if anyone should try to climb over her fence, they won't make it far without getting into a world of hurt. i told you she was a sadist...

but that isnt why roses will always be linked to daddy for me. one of our first play sessions, she bought me 24 roses. she called all over town to find these roses-- they still had the thorns-- and they were long and very sharp. after a very romantic date, she took me to her bed room, took the head off of each rose and showered me with rose petals, then, me on all fours, proceeded to whip me with the thorny stems...

my skin stung for days...

i hated it... i loved it.

so naturally i was thinking of that when she brought these to my graduation. but most of the thorns had been bred to be extremely small...boo! lately i have been much more masochistic than usual (usually i'm not masochistic at all)), so i would have appreciated a rose whipping more now than i did on that first date. but today turned out to be more about daddy feeding me. i should explain, i've got a feeding fetish. like i need another quirk, right? but there is some thing really erotic about being fed to me,. i can feel it, physically-- butterflies in my stomach, chills all up and down my body-- i get weak in the knees, and i get very submissive. i can't help it. it just happens. one thing daddy figured out pretty quickly was that the way to my heart was through my mouth.... there is something about the way she talks to me when she feeds me. it melts me to my core. you never really know where your kinks really are until you trip over them, and when daddy offered to feed me years ago, i was just as suprized as she was that it literally gave me chills. even more so when she held the fork full of cake to my lips. i suppose this has to do with my body image too. i'm tall, model's build, size 6/8 but ideally, i'd love to be about size 12/14. i just think chubby/full figured women are more beautiful....

i've been trying to gain weight since i changed my meds. it's hard for me to gain weight. i usually forget to eat, or ignore it when i am hungry (like i am now), but i have been doing better and trying really hard. i actually gained 5 lbs in a week, only to lose 3lbs in less than two days. ugh. daddy wanted to take me some place to celebrate, but i am the perpetual cheap date. i know money is tight for her, so i feel awful when she wants to splurge on me. so i talked her into jack in the box. i got one of their biggest burger meals, and 2 tacos, then we went to a fancy upscale grocery store and got 3 different very rich desserts. i scarfed the jack in the box food down asap, and then daddy brought out the deserts. i got thru the first two, and half way thru the third, before i could eat no more. it has been so long since i'd eaten that much, and it felt amazing because of the feeding, but revolting for eating so much. but then daddy told me he was proud of me for eating so much , and i forgot everything but daddy's opinion. even with all the bullshit of looking for welding work, it was a great day. all this, roses, and someone who cares about me. somedays despite everything, i feel extremely lucky.

 
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