cuttin' it close with your hostess, lady schick! :: girl, it's trouble.
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About Me....

um... who me? uh i guess i'm the lounge's resident tranny. old school bustie formerly known as butta.

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entry Sep 30 2010, 12:12 AM
that's what it says on my key chain. if you don't know, it's the slogan from the 70's for an old brand of cigarettes called virginal slims, marketed to women. every once in a while, i look down at it and smile. i've come a hell of a long way, even in the last year.

in the last year or two, i was depressed, suicidal, having panic attacks, bouts of agoraphobia, working as a welder, unemployed, gotten audited by unemployment--- twice. once for 6 months of records---in a relationship with mr. t, out of a relationship with mr. t.; friends with crush girl, who was-- and i don't use these words lightly-- an emotionally stadistic/manipulative cocktease, back in touch with with an old friend who helped me transition, hoping that old friend who was opening a bar would let me dj and train me to be a bartender. working my ass off for said friend for no money, since then i've jettisoned that friendship entirely(good riddance) , gotten jettisoned by crush girl ( again, good riddance), and am barely talking to mr. t. having a bad case of painter's block, painting, showing and selling my paintings, missing reviewing films, uninterested in watching movies, obsessed with movies and getting free movie passes, working for this city's huge film festival, thinking about film festival theater managing as a career... and who knows what all.

but now? i feel like the world is my oyster. not depressed, still unemployed, technically, but since june working 5 days out of 7 being a shop assistant at a tattoo shop, and in january i start my apprenticeship. being a tattoo artist has been a dream job for me for about roughly 15 years. one that i never thought would happen. yet here i am, pretty much over the agoraphobia (knocking on wood furiously), and i'm feeling better about who and what i am, more comfortable in my skin, and slowly...ever so slowly feeling not only as good as i did 4 or 5 years ago before i shattered my wrist. i feel like i'm finally back on track. i work with two women in a small shop that does amazing work, and i'm tremendously proud of. and today? today was a beautiful day of complements: the woman who does cosmetic tattoos said, "good morning, gt! you look beautiful... as always..." and another woman, told me repeatedly after i talked obliquely about having been a boy, told me i was so beautiful, and she had no idea i had been a boy. this is from a woman who grew up in hawaii and was familiar with mahu-- essentially hawaiian transexuals, who are often on female hormones before puberty. the mahu are for the most part, gorgeous in that hourglassed figured, exotic hawaiian mold. she said that the thing that usually gives mahu away is that they see like they are 'trying too hard' to be woman, they're too flamboyant, while genetic women, just are women. and that is the vibe she got me, my femininity was not a question, i just was.

you've come a looooooooooooooong way, baby.
a very long way, and you ought to be proud of yourself.

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sk8 boarding with a long board,
skateboard drifting
street art/stickers/graff/stencils
thriftin' and liftin'
asian cinema- particularlly korean films, movies from the 60's + 70's, screwball comedies of the 30s-40's, german expresionist film, horror and film noir, neo-noir, sci-fi particularly dystopias, self-reflexive film. film theory.
almost any genre of musics, particularly soul, r&b, jazz, blues, old, new and true school hip-hop, jump blues, jazz vocals, "incredibly strange music", "golden throats", odd covers, asian underground, cock rock, hair metal, j and k pop and hop, the "countrypolian" sound, rockabilly, surf, soundtracks and theme songs, swing, big band, lounge, tradional ez listening, bossa-nova, international pop.
subcultural histories. asian subcultures, american subcultures, historical tangents, politics,
gender theory, queer theory,
feminism, feminist theory, feminist film theory,
transgendered issues.

and welding! yay for OAW!!!!

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