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* NOT SAFE FOR WORK * Remember Truth or Dare?  Covertly huddled together in the corners of dingy school hallways, sitting at the back ends of buses, crouched in the basements of our childhood homes – we played the eponymous game in our awkward, fumbling youth. I recall one particular question during Truth that was frequently asked in rather hushed, thrilled tones: Have you ever masturbated? The boys would smile knowingly, admitting to their pleasure bombastically, sometimes even high-fiving. The girls would cast their eyes away, shaking their heads violently. No. Read More
I never really connected with Star Trek as a kid. I grew up with a Luke Skywalker action figure firmly gripped in one chubby hand and Darth Vader hectoring him from the other. The schism between the two sci-fi camps, Wars vs Trek, has been joked about forever. For me, the dashing heroism, the witty (to an eight-year-old) banter and sense of adventure in the Star Wars films made the stilted pseudo-science committee-meeting blather of Trek seem like a roomful of nerds being nerdy just waiting for their next wedgie. I didn't want to grow up to be Kirk. Read More
  As a self-identified geek and longtime Music-Obsessed Human, I’ve tried more than my fair share of headphones. Nobody wants to spend all their dang beer money on a crazy-fancy pair, but I’m definitely willing to shell out a bit of cash for quality sound and good construction that’ll withstand some abuse. I’ve tried everything from the ultra-cheap earbuds at Best Buy to massive 1960s-era Pioneer headphones (thanks, eBay!), but I’ve had nitpicky issues with most of them. Read More
Normally movies with exceedingly long shots, a drab color palette, and no soundtrack can be tough to get through. But if the stakes are high enough, this approach can actually be engaging. Exhibit A: Romania’s official Oscar submission for Best Foreign Language Film, Beyond the Hills—a story of two friends separated by faith. When Alina (Cristina Flutur) arrives at the Romanian monastery where novice nun Voichita (Cosmina Stratan) resides, she tries to convince her pal to flee with her to Germany. Read More
  It’s a truth universally agreed upon, at least among those of us who came of age in the 1980s, that Cyndi Lauper is one of the coolest, most interesting people in the world. Her songs made us want to dance and bop around and roller-skate. Lauper became a superstar for belting out “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” and, admittedly, she did have more than her fair share of good times, sometimes criminally great times. Read More
Here’s a little-known fact about female anatomy: the clit we know and love is just the tip of the iceberg. There are bundles of nerve endings below the surface of your hoo-ha. Most vibrators use a powerful motor to vibrate a small, clit-size weight very quickly—hence the monotone buzz—but the X1 Orgasmatron (from geek-getdown purveyor Doctor Xtreme) uses a slightly more powerful motor to vibrate a weight equal in mass to your entire clit-nerve complex. This means, in theory, that each pulse shakes not only your external junk, but the entire situation below the surface. Read More
“It’s your favorite number under the O—69!” says Linda Gerard (also known as Linda Fabulous, cause she is) into her head mic, during a recent Saturday evening at her legendary bingo night at the Ace Hotel and Swim Club in Palm Springs. I love a dirty joke, especially out of the mouths of senior babes, and the 74-year-old Gerard doles ’em out like my grandma does Werther’s. She also intermittently breaks into song and works the crowd like a pro. Read More
When Just Chill sent the BUST office a few cans of their “Tropical Chill”-flavored stress-relieving elixir, we were all pretty curious, but I was especially eager to test it out.  I’m running on too little sleep, working two jobs, and my left eye has been twitching for like, two weeks.   “Do you have a boss?” the promotional insert asks. Read More
I confess -  I've been a huge product junkie ever since I could bike to Rite Aid and drool at the rows of eyeshadows and press-on nails. At the ripe age of 12, I was introduced to Sephora and subsequently spent all of my allowance buying neon eyeliners and beauty tools a middle schooler had absolutely no uses for.  Ten years later, I wish I could go back in time and slap little Erina in the face with a piggy bank. But when I do need to pick up a few things, I like to research before I pull out my bills. Read More
Since their formation in 2006, Beirut has done a lot of traveling, at least musically speaking. The band’s grand tour started in the Balkans with Gulag Orkestar, then moved west to France with 2007’s The Flying Club Cup, and finally ended in southwest Mexico on 2009’s March of the Zapotec EP. After spending the past five years as musical nomads, it seems Zach Condon and company might be ready to settle down. Read More