Nowhere in my life does the statement "The grass is always greener on the other side" ring truer than when it comes to my haircut. If my locks are long, I dream of lopping them off, and if my hair is short, all I want is to be able to braid it down my back like those girls on Tumblr. The most intense source of my hair anxiety, though, is whether or not to get bangs. Girls with fringe seem to always be walkin' on sunshine, seem to just know how to wear those weird scarves that are really just a loop of fabric, and seem to never have to worry about visible forehead pimples. I guess, in my head, girls with bangs conflate into the unofficial spokeswoman of the power of the hair style, Zooey Deschanel.
Check out this infomercial parody for bangs on YouTube, starring funny ladies and BUST contributors Giulia Rozzi and Brandy Barber. The characters' LIVES ARE CHANGED by their new bangs. Bearded boyfriends abound! Recording contracts are real! Quirky commercial acting gigs appear! While this video makes me guffaw, a quick Google search shows that clip-in bangs are actually something people purchase. Like test driving a car before you buy it maybe...?
I wish getting bangs would change my life like it did in the video, but instead I'm pretty sure I would just never wash them and end up looking like this:
Image source lifelikehoney.ca and icanhazcheezburger.com