The Modern Man is the Internet’s latest mangled bits of thirsty, quasi-Men’s Right Activist dating advice coming from Dan Bacon, a self-appointed “dating and relationship expert.” Needless to say, Bacon is only concerned with heterosexual, cisgender dudes. Obviously.
Promising men the ultimate advice for scoring a gal, Bacon flaunts his “expertise” with women via a cheekily [seemingly photoshopped] image of a smug smile plastered across his face as a faceless blonde woman sucks on his neck. He gestures to the woman, as if to say “Look at this babe I don’t respect or see as a person.” The rest of the photos around Bacon are exploitative photos of women he has hooked up with or posed with him in a suggestive manner - which makes me highly doubt that he had their permission to use the images in the first place.
And this is just scratching the surface.
Bacon regularly posts videos and blogs that all center around “How to __ a Woman” or “__ Things About Women You Had No Idea About!!!” because, clearly, Bacon has the all seeing eye that lasers into the minds of women everywhere.
Of course, though it may not be Bacon’s so insanely mislead intention, each page is just inundated with so much misogynistic shit that it is truly amazing.
I think my favorite (and by my favorite I mean the most hilariously horrifying) video of his is “7 Strange Things About Women.” Yes, because all women are so similar due to our gender that we are easily summed up in 7 weird, quirky things we all seem to do. Because we are FEMALES.
First, the video opens up like a breaking-news CNN special - *CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC*. Bacon, sounding like a douchey crocodile hunter (RIP Steve Irwin) describes women in such objectified detail, it actually sounds like he’s on an Animal Planet program. God help me, I need a moment before I move on.
Ok I’m good.
Something he stresses in this video is that women want to retreat into their femininity, their feminine side, and that the man must be the masculine one in the relationship - an unfortunate sign most youths and people in general just receive from the media. People do not need these explicit instructions to enforce gender roles that are just already so harmful.
To make this easy, let’s just break down some choice soundbites and school Bacon into exactly why this is so offensive/wrong:
1. When addressing mixed signals, Bacon seems to think that when an interested woman is shy, it is because she prefers to be feminine (????) “Leading you through the courtship would place her into the masculine position in your ‘relationship.' If she is like almost every woman on the planet, she will want to be the feminine one and be able to follow your masculine lead.”
I think what Bacon may be referring to is the fact that a lot of people, when entering a potentially romantic or sexual situation, might be shy. This happens to people regardless of their gender, which should not determine how one approaches these types of situations.
"Oh you think I have a nice bubble butt? Go fuck yourself."
2. “Have you ever seen women standing around in a bar or nightclub who have gone to a LOT of effort to look beautiful and attract attention, yet they are behaving as though they don't want ANY attention… These type of women are looking for a man who will not be afraid to approach them and say hi, no matter what vibe they are giving off. When a guy does approach, they will still seem unimpressed initially to test his confidence.”
This basic idea that women go through the trouble of looking nice in order to attract men and not for making themselves feel nice is basically one of the tenants that rape culture still stands on today. And, oh yeah, the inherent belief that a woman ALWAYS wants to talk to you after she rebuffs your approaches REALLY invalidates her when she says no - when her "no" is always perfectly valid. This cultivates a culture of disrespect towards women. NO.
3. “We're told in the media that it's all about being good looking, tall and having six pack abs, but that is wrong. The truth is that women feel attracted to guys who are confident, masculine and who can make them feel girly and feminine. When I refer to making a woman feel girly, I'm not talking about disrespecting a woman's maturity or intelligence and treating her like she's a naive little girl. What I am saying is that she feels girly and feminine in response to your masculinity.”
Nice try, but the concept of making women feel “girly” is still pretty disrespectful. I am really trying to wrap my mind around what he means by this but I am utterly at a loss. Maybe, instead of girly, try this: “People are attracted to others that are nice and make them feel good when they are around them. What a person finds attractive vastly differs across the board.”
I would continue but my eyes and ears are beginning to bleed a little. The whole entire website is an eyesore and actively contributes to rape culture. Apparently, there are even testimonials of men who have used to site with “success” - which makes me question if they are falsified or just really that dumb. I mean, come on. One video about “The Sex Smile,” which is allegedly what men need to flash a lady to get her all hot and bothered, comes across as very juvenile. Spoiler: the face is not sexy at all. Instead, it looks as if Bacon just had a really satisfying fart.
I would tell you to go check it out for yourself, but this dude does not need any more traffic or attention than he is already getting. I’m just praying that this site is a whole joke that I am not in on.
All images via The Modern Man.