There’s an App That Tracks Your Period, This Changes Everything

Oh my grash, gals, I must be stuck in the dark ages. Sometimes I forget that they make an app for everything these days, but it never occurred to me that there are apps that would track your period. BUT THERE ARE. THERE TOTALLY ARE. 

Truth be told, I'm on the pill, which is supposed to (keyword being "supposed") make it so I know exactly when I'll get it. And even when I wasn't on the pill, I was incredibly sloppy at tracking my period on my Bettie Page calendar. But this is what we call "investigative journalism," so I can try before you buy (JK, it's a free app, but you know what I mean.) 


There’s a couple, but the one that I just downloaded is called Period Tracker. And you can even document your day-to-day emotions. 


Just like Livejournal! Or Facebook. Whatever the kids are using...

I think my favorite part, though, is also lets you mark dates when you’ve been (cough) intimate. And it predicts (with flowers!) when you'll be fertile and ovulating. And THAT is fucking cool. It’s perfect for people who are sexually neurotic.

And I'm all for anything that keeps me from being a 22-year-old unwed mother, so I'm a real fan of that feature.

I know some people aren’t going to be into the design, which is ultra-cutesy and blatantly genderized. I get it, it’s a little condescending, and it caters to stereotypically feminine aesthetics. If we’re going to be accurate about how having a menstrual cycle feels, the app would be waking you up to “Raining Blood” on the day of your expected period. Instead of, you know, this:


They left off "homicidal thoughts."

But personally, I have less of a problem with this app being sugarcoated than the way HappyPlayTime did it, by teaching you to masturbate with a pretty, pink Vaginasaur. I’m sorry guys, I’m still not entirely comfortable with that.

And there’s, of course, a diary, if you need to vent. 

Calm down, it's a Sex and the City reference...

So what do you think, BUSTies? Did you know that these were a thing? Do you actually use these? If yes, why didn't any of you tell me about it? If no, WOULD you use it? Do you think it's a helpful tool, or does it just look stupid and sexist?

Let us know in the comment section! 

Photos via iTunes store

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