It’s the 21st and the BED LIBS competition has come to an end. We’re not done having fun just yet! There’s a party to go to! The winning submission came from our new friend Eva Gantz, a marketing and publicity professional at the always-sexy (and good friends of BUST) Cleis Press - an erotica publisher. What a coincidence! A conspiracy? I’m investigating myself right now. Here’s her hilarious response to the email we sent her confirming the win and my request for a quote:
“AHHHHHH!!!! WHAT?? Oh my god, this is AWESOME! Please excuse the caps-locking, but I'm pretty thrilled right now. I JUST WON SOMETHING AWESOME TO PUT IN MY VAGINA from BUST! *Squeee*” —Eva “Caps Lock” Gantz
Here’s the thing though. She’s in California and as much awesome as the Fun Factory / BUST party is going to be, she’s not hopping a red eye to NYC to hang with us. Thanks to the new Fun Factory Stronic she'll be receiving in the mail shortly (and the new subscription to BUST we’ll be sending her featuring the newest One-Handed Read), she may be occupied for days on end.
So, with her permission, we’re offering her tickets to the next person to email me a funny cat picture. Why a cat picture? Because, we like everyone else, cannot get enough funny cat pictures in our lives. That, and I just thought of it and found it to be an acceptable thing to ask for. Christian@bust.com is the cat pic portal and the way into this event.
Congratulate Ms. Gantz in the comments below and read the story that got her the win right here:
I knew I’d have her the moment I laid eyes on her. Dressed in puce from head to toe, she stood out from all the other Feminist Bloggers from the Feminist Blogger conference who were crowding the bar. I made my way over to where she was standing. “Hi,” I said, saucily. "Did anyone ever tell you you’re a dead ringer for James Deen?" She looked up, and I admired her piercing rainbow eyes and long, curly elbow. “Not before now,” she said. “Are you also staying here at the Thrice Inn & Suites?” I asked. “Yeah,” she said. “In room 352.” I watched as she slid her room key across the bar to me. “In fact, I think I might go up there and take a nap right now,” she added, fake yawning. Once she got up from her seat, I could see she was nearly 13 feet tall. She sure was one horrifying, docile drink of water.
From the way she strode out of the bar, I could tell she would make love like a wild deer. When I got to the room she was lying on the sex swing, wearing nothing but a silky man thong. I noticed she had a tattoo of a snarling cheetah on her pussy, which only turned me on more. “Come over here,” she said. “I want to feel your doritos.” No one had ever referred to my finger that way before, and I liked it.
She pulled me forward onto the bed. “Mmmm,” she said, taking my love handle into her mouth. “You taste like chow mein.” We tangled together, and the warm lamp light made my lush, full tongue look slippery. When our mouths parted she rolled over and reached for something in her suitcase. “Have you ever made love using one of these?” she asked, revealing the zucchini she was holding in her hands. “No,” I gasped. “But it looks like a lot more fun than the feel do I once tried!”
Finally, I could take it no more. I pulled off my corset, and straddled her. I ran my hands through her unfaithful hair, and let my tongue underhandedly explore her throbbing earlobe while she kneaded my moist flesh. Her fingers found their way inside me, probing, and I farted with pleasure. "Stick," she commanded, and I split on top of her hand, getting closer and closer to going over the edge. “Jesus christ on a crap cracker!” I yelped, orgasming hard while my ass cheeks rolled back in my head. I collapsed on top of her, breathing unsurprisingly as my heartbeat slowed. “Not bad for a Feminist Blogger,” I said. “Care to go again?”