Breastfeeding Mom Uses Her Boob Milk As A Weapon

by Gabrielle Diekhoff

Between the Olympic coverage and the election coverage, it seemed the news didn’t have much to offer consumers this weekend aside from the usual drab stories that are covered by 500 different media sources and have a tendency to do one of two things: bore us all to tears, or depress us all to tears. So, expectations were low as I was going about my scheduled Sunday morning internet perusal. That is, until I came across a headline that actually caught my attention. It was an article from the Huffington Post –  something about an angry mother squirting her breastmilk at another woman.

My initial reaction? “Un-f*cking-real.” My second thought: “this has to be an Onion article.” But then I clicked the link. And I realized, this was not a clever piece of satire. This was reality. A reality almost (but not quite) as ridiculous as the fact that Donald Trump is still in the running for POTUS (I’ll save that discussion for another time). Anyway… The story had me spewing hot coffee all over my shirt.

Here’s how it all went down: Apparently, a mother was innocently breastfeeding her infant on a park bench, as one does when their child is hungry and unable to feed oneself, when another woman, husband and child in tow, approached her, up-in-arms over the sight of a sliver of another woman’s boob. She said that her husband was “distracted,” and boldly requested that the mother breastfeed elsewhere. So, in response, the mother in question whipped out her tit, aimed, and fired her milk directly at the bitter bellyacher.

Here’s how she reported it on Facebook

Anon Post

Thankfully, the majority of people replying to her post don’t have their heads up their asses and recognize that breastfeeding is a perfectly natural and beautiful process, one that needs to be desexualized and destigmatized immediately. Their responses were as valid as they were hilarious.

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Dear Boob-Squirting Mom, you are truly my hero. You go, girl. 

Images via ‘Away We Go’ and Facebook

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