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An Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn collaboration is making all of our dreams come true. Goldie Hawn is finally returning to the big screen for the first time since 2002, playing Amy Schumer’s on-screen mother in a yet-to-be-named film directed by Jonathan Levine. Hawn last starred in the 2002 film The Banger Sisters before dedicating the next 13 years to her organization The Hawn Foundation. “She’s amazing,” Hawn, 70, told a group of reporters at the UCLA Institute of the Environment and Sustainability’s “The Champions of Our...
Photo by Emily Kate Roemer This classic sandwich makes for the most delicious melt down Is there anything better on a chilly day than a great grilled cheese sandwich? Simple, cheesy, gooey joy—one bite and all is right with the world. Here’s how to make the best grilled-cheese sandwich ever, plus tips on how to dress it up depending on your mood.  Classic Grilled CheeseServes 2 // Takes 10 minutes INGREDIENTS4 slices of white bread 4 slices of cheddar or American cheese* 1 plop of butter (or mayonnaise)Smidgen of salt (optional) DIRECTIONSGenerously...
  Is your Instagram handle “CheesyMacGrrl”? Do you have an unironic forearm tattoo of a Swiss cheese wedge? Was your childhood dog named “Noodle”?Then you belong at the Brooklyn Mac & Cheeze Takedown at the Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club on April 17th!   Your friends called. They said yeah, you make a pretty boss mac ‘n’ cheese. Therefore, you MUST enter the Takedown and test your chops for prizes sponsored by Cuisinart, Anolon, Microplane, and Wusthof. Not to mention the glory! Do it for the glory!   Or maybe, like me,...
I'm really not a textbook "good" parent. This is a fact I will readily admit. I'm young and busy. I have been known to watch Archer with my three-year-old, which doesn't feel irresponsible when you are on your 45th minute of, "What shall we do with the drunken sailor" and it's either that or throw yourself out of the window. In any case, I'm generally at peace with my parenting ... but something terrible has happened. My son is obsessed with Donald Trump.It's not really...
Tantus Leisure Size: Kind of a banana? Shape: Child’s drawing of a penis Sound: Squelchy Strength: Ooof Satisfaction: We’ll talk Pairs with: A screwdriver The Tantus Leisure is a dildo for beginners. It’s long and thin and smooth and you can probably put it into any opening you want to with little trouble. It’s harness- and suction cup-friendly, so it’s super versatile, but the fact is, I have about as much interest in this dildo as I do in baseball (so basically, only if it’s portrayed...
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