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By now you've probably read all about how now-former Member of Congress Eric Massa resigned because a male staffer complained of a hostile workplace.
Here's Massa's quote on the incident.
"One of them looked at me and as they would do after, I don't know, 15 gin and tonics, and goodness only knows how many bottles of champagne, a staff member made an intonation to me that maybe I should be chasing after the bridesmaid and his points were clear and his words were far more colorful than that. And I grabbed the staff member sitting next to me and said, 'Well, what I really ought to be doing is fracking you.' And then [I] tossled the guy's hair and left, went to my room, because I knew the party was getting to a point where it wasn't right for me to be there. Now was that inappropriate of me? Absolutely. Am I guilty? Yes."
Obviously, Massa's comment was inappropriate. But am I the only one who thinks the conversation was WAY INAPPROPRIATE before that?? A group of staffers sitting around telling their boss to go hit on the bridesmaid? But it only became an issue when a male staffer was the object of the potential sexual advances. It must have been great fun for the women in that office.
Update: More disturbing allegations about Massa. Amazing none of this came out when he was running for office.
The opinions expressed on the BUST blog are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of BUST Magazine or its staff.
Comments (16)
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written by SterlingSHA, March 10, 2010
I don't know. I don't think they are treating the women as conquests. I think they were just saying "Hey, that bridesmaid is hot. Let's go holla!" I don't think they are treating anyone as conquests or being terribly inappropriate unless they were saying "I want to hit it and quit it because women are only good for one thing. Am I right!?" I just don't see them talking about hitting on bridesmaids as the real issue here at all.
I think they were using these women as ways to cover up their own sexual insecurities and that is a problem for sure.
I think they were using these women as ways to cover up their own sexual insecurities and that is a problem for sure.
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written by Leahayhurst, March 10, 2010
I think that they took the conversation to that place. They opened the door and were talking about something that was obviously not comfortable to him so he said something that he knew would be shocking to them to shut them up and then left the situation. If your gonna tease someone in that way you can't be pissed if they dish it right back.
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written by starrling84, March 10, 2010
The whole thing is ridiculous. All it sounds like to me is typical "guy banter". You know the kind; one guy says "You suck!" and the other says "Yeah, that's what your girlfriend told me last night!". As a girl who grew up with an older brother and now I have several brothers-in-law, I hear them talking like this, and even making homosexual jokes to each other, all the time. It's just guys razzing on guys. I think the staffers are just looking to get famous and have their names in the papers.
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written by Heather Edwards, March 10, 2010
I think we should be asking if this is newsworthy.
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written by mikki, March 10, 2010
I'm kind of surprised that some of you would write this off as 'typical guy banter" or not being inappropriate. If my boss was sitting around with my male coworkers talking about who at the party they would like to fuck, I would not be cool with that. And it is part and parcel of a boy's club environment that leads to even more sexual harassment and hostile workplaces.
Heather, do you really not think it's newsworthy? Beyond the fact of seeing how gross our congressional reps can be, Massa's resignation throws the health care reform process into further turmoil.
Heather, do you really not think it's newsworthy? Beyond the fact of seeing how gross our congressional reps can be, Massa's resignation throws the health care reform process into further turmoil.
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written by Tracey Cox, March 10, 2010
I agree with you mikki. Sitting around and talking about banging a bridesmaid is already highly inappropriate, and could actually be just cause for dismissal. My family is in the automotive business, and the old boy network is alive and well, but we fire guys all the time for being like this. (If we catch them.) They all need to be fired, talking about other employees like this is bullshit. Way inappropriate, and if people are this confused about boundaries, what else will they do?
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written by Bothell Towing Services, March 11, 2010
This is very awesome article as it teaches us various hard facts of life, this will definitely help many people. Thanks!
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written by Damien Walker, March 11, 2010
Based on the situation, I don't agree that the comments are inappropriate. Commenting about banging someone at work would be inappropriate, but commenting about banging a bridesmaid or groomsmen at a wedding is completly appropriate. Weddings are a notorious hookup spot. It shouldn't be suprising to hear comments like this, especially after the alchohol starts flowing.
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written by Jet Whitt, March 11, 2010
This sounds like a homogenized account of the real conversation. Yes, it was inappropriate from the beginning. Go after the Bride? oh no, I should be fracking you (who says fracking?) Please, He's sqirming to get out of this.Trying to make it sound harmless only makes it worse,KEEP DIGGING...
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written by SterlingSHA, March 12, 2010
Mikki,
I think this is very newsworthy but are you saying you've NEVER sat around with friends and seen a dude or a lady that you thought was hot and said to them "I'm going to hit on him/her?" or "(S)He's hot!" Like that's what it seems this was. I think we are making an issue out of something that EVERYONE does. NOT just guys. Girls sit around and talk about wanting to hook up with dudes too. The ISSUE is that Massa is in Congress and he sexually harassed another man.
This is not a boys-club scenario. When people drink, see people they are attracted too and are with friends, they more often then not say they want to Holla. Man or woman. Doesn't matter.
I think this is very newsworthy but are you saying you've NEVER sat around with friends and seen a dude or a lady that you thought was hot and said to them "I'm going to hit on him/her?" or "(S)He's hot!" Like that's what it seems this was. I think we are making an issue out of something that EVERYONE does. NOT just guys. Girls sit around and talk about wanting to hook up with dudes too. The ISSUE is that Massa is in Congress and he sexually harassed another man.
This is not a boys-club scenario. When people drink, see people they are attracted too and are with friends, they more often then not say they want to Holla. Man or woman. Doesn't matter.
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written by mikki, March 12, 2010
Sterling--
the issue is what constitutes sexual harassment and what makes for a hostile workplace. Anyone at that table could have complained about the conversation being inappropriate when they were talking about the bridesmaid. A congressman and his staffers talking about hitting on a bridesmaid is totally wrong. But none of them (nor you, I guess) has a problem with that, just when the talk became about homosexual contact. Under the law, and to me, it's all inappropriate. And it is not the same thing as talking privately withyour friends about relationships.
the issue is what constitutes sexual harassment and what makes for a hostile workplace. Anyone at that table could have complained about the conversation being inappropriate when they were talking about the bridesmaid. A congressman and his staffers talking about hitting on a bridesmaid is totally wrong. But none of them (nor you, I guess) has a problem with that, just when the talk became about homosexual contact. Under the law, and to me, it's all inappropriate. And it is not the same thing as talking privately withyour friends about relationships.
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written by SterlingSHA, March 12, 2010
I totally see what you're saying. But is it wrong when my coworkers and I talk about people we think are attractive? Or When Libi (a coworker) tells Todd (another coworker) to ask out Donna (another coworker) because she's cute and fun? I am confused about why that is considered sexual harassment or a hostile work environment? It still just seems like friends talking about hitting on a person they thought was attractive.
What I have a problem with is when the congressman said I should be fracking you and grabbed the guy. WHAT!?! It doesn't matter if you are gay, lesbian, straight, bi whatever! THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE!
THAT situation makes it a hostile work environment for everyone.
And I don't want you to think i am defending this guy. I'm not. He is a sexually harassing slime monster, but I guess I am just feeling like this post was disregarding the real issue of Massa's character and behavior and making it about these "poor women" who work for him. Massa is obviously a crappy person so shouldn't we be concerned not just for the women but the men too?
I feel like I am not being clear on what I mean, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.
What I have a problem with is when the congressman said I should be fracking you and grabbed the guy. WHAT!?! It doesn't matter if you are gay, lesbian, straight, bi whatever! THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE!
THAT situation makes it a hostile work environment for everyone.
And I don't want you to think i am defending this guy. I'm not. He is a sexually harassing slime monster, but I guess I am just feeling like this post was disregarding the real issue of Massa's character and behavior and making it about these "poor women" who work for him. Massa is obviously a crappy person so shouldn't we be concerned not just for the women but the men too?
I feel like I am not being clear on what I mean, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.
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written by MBT Tataga, March 22, 2010
Sitting around and talking about banging a bridesmaid is already highly inappropriate, and could actually be just cause for dismissal. My family is in the automotive business,agree
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written by jimmy black shoes, July 13, 2010
I think we should be asking if this is newsworthy.
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Fine to talk about women as nothing more than conquests, but if you ever become objectified, then it's inappropriate? That's stupid.