Couch potato season is quickly approaching and if you're feeling bad about yourself for never wanting to leave the couch, this blanket will take you from hermit crab to a mermaid instantaneously. Mermaids don't feel bad about being unemployed, mermaids don't allow the judgement of others to convince them to get off the couch. Mermaids entice men into water and drown their asses with vigor! So while you lure men to their death, this mermaid tail blanket will be luring you to a good night's rest, thanks to the skilled design and craftsmanship of artist Melanie Campbell.
The mermaid tail is what dreams are made of, and machine washable, crocheted acrylic is what the mermaid tail is made of! The cozy cocoon-like sac pulls up to the waist and instantly transforms you into the majestic creature you really are, without having to trade your voice to a sea witch.
The sizes range from toddler and child to adult and comes in either pink or teal. Each tail is handmade which takes from 6 to 8 weeks to make and can be purchased for up to $200 on Campbell's Etsy Shop. You can count on it being on my Christmas list.
Courtney Bissonette is a New York based writer and improv comedienne. She writes primarily about movies, pop cultures and feminist heroes. She gets along best with old people. She has seen more old movies than your grandma, probably. Salt from Salt n Pepa once took her Trick'r Treating. You can follow her on instagram at @gddamnitcourtney or twitter @courttette