The Good Men Project just released a list of "9 Things Men Can Do to Change Themselves and the World." We're into The Good Men Project's attempts to shift the discussion on modern masculinity, but we can't quite figure out our thoughts on this list. Check it out below:

1. Listen to and love women: Stop referring to women who are clear, focused and direct as bitches, ball busters and cunts. Get your mitts on some bell hooks, Audre Lorde and any woman  who is clear thinking and committed to her own and the planet’s growth.

2. Seek professional help in dealing with childhood trauma. Trust me—if you survived childhood (and if you’re reading this that means you did) then there’s some trauma, misunderstanding or confusion that needs sorting out.

3. Delve into a spiritual practice or create one of your own. Whether your spiritual practice is age old or new age/new thought, no evolution and commitment to being a full human being is complete without a spiritual base.

4. Develop relationships with young children. As someone who has taught four year olds and high school students and everyone in between, I am aware of people’s misunderstanding around men’s significance when it comes to being in a child’s life.

5. Stop determining your worth by what you have, as opposed to what you do. This is directly related to number 4. Many people wrongly assume that teaching and men teaching is the result of being unskilled and the least desirable choice because it is the work of the mind. Prove them wrong. Teach.

6. Give up the belief that your only contribution is a physical one. Invest in brain-teasing, synapse-changing activities and interaction. Although I suck at scrabble and never win, I am mentally challenged and have never left a game not having learned something. Maybe chess or checkers would be more to your liking. Anything that moves our minds and gets them to stretch and move beyond what is comfortable and familiar is a great thing.

7. Get clear about sex and what it can and can’t do. See points two and six as a starting place. Sex can and does result in pregancy, HIV, STIs, hurt feelings and disappointment. It can also lead to closeness, sharing and powerful metaphysical bonding if we allow it.

8. Stop lying about your feelings, accomplishments, disappointments, height, weight, penis size and sexual prowess. Tell the truth about your fears and how you handle them, your unrealized dreams and how you created new ones. Define what the term “all night long” really means (it is a song from the eighties) and why it isn’t that important.

9. Develop friendships and relationships with people who are different and navigate the planet differently because of race, sexual orientation, religion or age. If you are straight get yourself some gay buddies. If you’re gay, get some straight comrades. Remember we’re not talking about folk who are really curious and are one cocktail from “trying something out”. We’re talking about real relationships where it is understood that not only is sexual intimacy out of the question but so are ridiculous assumptions, less-than-thought-out inquiries regarding one another’s lives and ridiculous entendres that are dumb, juvenile and pointless.

 

We think these are generally just good rules of thumb for anyone, regardless of gender (everyone should read bell hooks). What do you think?

Image via The Good Men Project

1. Listen to and love women: Stop referring to women who are clear, focused and direct as bitches, ball busters and cunts. Get your mitts on some bell hooks, Audre Lorde and any woman  who is clear thinking and committed to her own and the planet’s growth.

2. Seek professional help in dealing with childhood trauma. Trust me—if you survived childhood (and if you’re reading this that means you did) then there’s some trauma, misunderstanding or confusion that needs sorting out.

3. Delve into a spiritual practice or create one of your own. Whether your spiritual practice is age old or new age/new thought, no evolution and commitment to being a full human being is complete without a spiritual base.

4. Develop relationships with young children. As someone who has taught four year olds and high school students and everyone in between, I am aware of people’s misunderstanding around men’s significance when it comes to being in a child’s life.

5. Stop determining your worth by what you have, as opposed to what you do. This is directly related to number 4. Many people wrongly assume that teaching and men teaching is the result of being unskilled and the least desirable choice because it is the work of the mind. Prove them wrong. Teach.

6. Give up the belief that your only contribution is a physical one. Invest in brain-teasing, synapse-changing activities and interaction. Although I suck at scrabble and never win, I am mentally challenged and have never left a game not having learned something. Maybe chess or checkers would be more to your liking. Anything that moves our minds and gets them to stretch and move beyond what is comfortable and familiar is a great thing.

7. Get clear about sex and what it can and can’t do. See points two and six as a starting place. Sex can and does result in pregancy, HIV, STIs, hurt feelings and disappointment. It can also lead to closeness, sharing and powerful metaphysical bonding if we allow it.

8. Stop lying about your feelings, accomplishments, disappointments, height, weight, penis size and sexual prowess. Tell the truth about your fears and how you handle them, your unrealized dreams and how you created new ones. Define what the term “all night long” really means (it is a song from the eighties) and why it isn’t that important.

9. Develop friendships and relationships with people who are different and navigate the planet differently because of race, sexual orientation, religion or age. If you are straight get yourself some gay buddies. If you’re gay, get some straight comrades. Remember we’re not talking about folk who are really curious and are one cocktail from “trying something out”. We’re talking about real relationships where it is understood that not only is sexual intimacy out of the question but so are ridiculous assumptions, less-than-thought-out inquiries regarding one another’s lives and ridiculous entendres that are dumb, juvenile and pointless.

 

We think these are generally just good rules of thumb for anyone, regardless of gender (everyone should read bell hooks). What do you think?

Image via The Good Men Project

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Tagged in: The Good Men Project, masculinity   

The opinions expressed on the BUST blog are those of the authors themselves and do not necessarily reflect the position of BUST Magazine or its staff.


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